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Jealously from people after weight loss

#1
Today my aunt seen me for the first time since I lost weight and said to me right away "Oh my god, you look thin! You look fantastic!"

However, my cousin (who doesn't ever really get on with many for reasons you're just about to find out) said, after my aunt asked her how well I looked, 'Yeah you've lost weight. But you're still chubby. You could afford to lose like a stone." and my aunt scolded her and told her not to be ridiculous. I've also heard a few *****y comments at work (even though I try and be nice to everyone)

I'm 9stone 4lb at 5'3 (after getting down from nearly 13 stone) and it's comments like this that set me back. Has anyone else had to deal with mixed feedback from people? How do you cope with the negativity/jealousy?

Thanks for all your time xxx
 
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Medusa

Full Member
#2
What an insecure *****. :mad:

I'd be inclined to say I felt sorry for her...there are whole industries out there to help you look good, diet clubs, health spas, gyms etc ... yet the poor cow will never be able to have a personality transplant.
 
#3
LOL Medusa. Don't be shy....just say what you feel!

Happyhealthy - as your name suggests, you are not just losing weight to be slinky and gorgeous. Don't let anyone try to hinder your success with their nasty comments stemming from of jealousy, ignorance or insecurity x
 
#4
Happyhealthy - as your name suggests, you are not just losing weight to be slinky and gorgeous. Don't let anyone try to hinder your success with their nasty comments stemming from of jealous, ignorance or insecurity x
Thank you :) I know in my heart of heart she doesn't mean it but it gets me down never the less because you wonder what you could of possibly ever done to someone to be so disrespectful. I remember at school many years ago there was a girl who lost a lot of weight over the summer and when she returned, someone spray painted over the front doors of the school "Katie got liposuction" for the whole school to see. Needless to say the poor girl was humiliated!
 

cherry-pie

Trying again in 2012
#5
Sadly you can only live this life for yourself - so hold your head high, be proud of your fantastic achievement, share it with those who support you and leave behind all those that don't - I know this sounds simple but she really isn't worth your time and effort as you'll never win with someone who is so insecure that they can't credit you with your due xxx
 
#6
I know in my heart of heart she doesn't mean it but it gets me down never the less because you wonder what you could of possibly ever done to someone to be so disrespectful.
I suspect you haven't done anything. She possibly has her own insecurites and having a hot cousin isn't helping. Try to rise above it :D
 
#7
I suspect you haven't done anything. She possibly has her own insecurites and having a hot cousin isn't helping. Try to rise above it :D

Haha thank you sooo much for your kind words, but 'hot cousin' is pushing it a bit hehe :D :D
 
#8
Sadly you can only live this life for yourself - so hold your head high, be proud of your fantastic achievement, share it with those who support you and leave behind all those that don't - I know this sounds simple but she really isn't worth your time and effort as you'll never win with someone who is so insecure that they can't credit you with your due xxx
Thank you so much, it means a lot. I've heard a lot of stories on this forum of people being mean to others about their weight loss. Nothing stranger than folk as they say! best of luck for your weight loss journey xxxx
 

Kankles

Silver Member
#9
happyhealthy said:
Thank you :) I know in my heart of heart she doesn't mean it but it gets me down never the less because you wonder what you could of possibly ever done to someone to be so disrespectful. I remember at school many years ago there was a girl who lost a lot of weight over the summer and when she returned, someone spray painted over the front doors of the school "Katie got liposuction" for the whole school to see. Needless to say the poor girl was humiliated!
Kids can be so cruel. I remember when I was at school I was dating this boy and thought I was besotted, I walked around the corner one day and heard him saying to my friend "its ok for you, you're not going out with someone who's fat" I was mortified, needless to say we broke up, but during the summer holidays I was diagnosed with arthritis and was in hospital for a few weeks, I dropped 3 clothes sizes and 1 shoe size?! When I returned to school I walked in on my crutches 3 sizes smaller, a new hair do and he stood there gawping at me and I thought yeah I may have been fat but I'm not no more but u'll always been an ugly person! Strange how some things stick in ur head 20 yrs later!!!!
 
#10
Kids can be so cruel. I remember when I was at school I was dating this boy and thought I was besotted, I walked around the corner one day and heard him saying to my friend "its ok for you, you're not going out with someone who's fat" I was mortified, needless to say we broke up, but during the summer holidays I was diagnosed with arthritis and was in hospital for a few weeks, I dropped 3 clothes sizes and 1 shoe size?! When I returned to school I walked in on my crutches 3 sizes smaller, a new hair do and he stood there gawping at me and I thought yeah I may have been fat but I'm not no more but u'll always been an ugly person! Strange how some things stick in ur head 20 yrs later!!!!
I bet you showed him! Kids can be so cruel, one little comment can stay with you for years. And I laughed out loud at you losing a show size. That happened to me although I already had very skinny feet!! Strange, isn't it?
 
#11
Treat it with the contempt it deserves. Just rise above it. You know you look brilliant. I think a lot of people on here would love to be he weight you are and admire and understand what you have done to get there.

Ignore her....she does not deserve even 1 seconds brain pace.

You have done amazingly well.
 
#12
Treat it with the contempt it deserves. Just rise above it. You know you look brilliant. I think a lot of people on here would love to be he weight you are and admire and understand what you have done to get there.

Ignore her....she does not deserve even 1 seconds brain pace.

You have done amazingly well.
Thank you so much! It's just discouraging when people aren't as positive as you'd like them to be. I was not even expecting a compliment but I ended up feeling insulted. Hehe I'm on a rant. Thank you for saying I probably look brilliant :D It's nice to hear things like that! All the best for your weight loss journey
 

tara40

Loves Norman Reedus
#13
Kids can be so cruel. I remember when I was at school I was dating this boy and thought I was besotted, I walked around the corner one day and heard him saying to my friend "its ok for you, you're not going out with someone who's fat" I was mortified, needless to say we broke up, but during the summer holidays I was diagnosed with arthritis and was in hospital for a few weeks, I dropped 3 clothes sizes and 1 shoe size?! When I returned to school I walked in on my crutches 3 sizes smaller, a new hair do and he stood there gawping at me and I thought yeah I may have been fat but I'm not no more but u'll always been an ugly person! Strange how some things stick in ur head 20 yrs later!!!!
ha, serves him right.
it reminds me of an episode of Friends with Chandler calling Monica fat.

do you know what he looks like now.
 

Medusa

Full Member
#14
Years and years ago I heard one very skinny school mate of mine giggling about another girl (who was about my size - which was normal then) and saying "she's so fat her legs meet at the top". Now aside from total bafflement - I mean wouldn't you fall over if they didn't meet at the top? :D- I did feel a little upset and it did feed into the idea I was "fat" when I clearly wasn't.

Forward 25 years and she's a receptionist at my children's dental practice. A**e the size of a small planet. I'm sorry to say I was rather pleased. :eek::D
 
#15
I remember meeting the girl at school who used to bully me for being fat and clever in a club when I had just graduated uni. At this point she had 3 kids, one of which she had just out of school. Now don't get me wrong - nothing wrongwith having kids, or even having them young (my little sister had her 1st v young). But in my slightly drunken state I did find it really funny that this girl who had made my life hell was now stuck (her own words) with 3 kids. I resolved from that point to never ever ever give a toss what anyone thought of me.
 

tara40

Loves Norman Reedus
#16
makes you feel good doesnt it.

my hubby wanted to be a fireman when he was at secondary school and the teachers told him that "he was too thick and wouldnt amount to anything". now he is dyslexic. composes the most fantastic songs. and most importantly he is a great father.
 
#17
use it to your advantage, you have done amazing! when people show jealousy it's usually because you have something that they don't in your case it could be willpower, determination, beauty, kindness a sweet nature a personality. So really if you think about it its more of a compliment than if she had said wow you look amazing :D
 

Lady A

Loves to Shop!
#18
Years and years ago I heard one very skinny school mate of mine giggling about another girl (who was about my size - which was normal then) and saying "she's so fat her legs meet at the top". Now aside from total bafflement - I mean wouldn't you fall over if they didn't meet at the top? :D- I did feel a little upset and it did feed into the idea I was "fat" when I clearly wasn't.

Forward 25 years and she's a receptionist at my children's dental practice. A**e the size of a small planet. I'm sorry to say I was rather pleased. :eek::D
Been there hun!

I was a size 22/24 at school due to an undiagnosed thyroid condition and I heard lots of nasty comments from the skinny girls at school and nasty relatives. The looks on there faces when they saw me a slinky size 10/12 after I got diagnosed and started my medication will stay with me for life now THEY ask ME for diet tips. I'm a firm beliver of what goes around comes around and around 40lbs of it have come around to most of them!

Try not to get upset about it HappyHealthy there are some rather sad people out there who just can't be happy for other people..xx
 

Medusa

Full Member
#19
makes you feel good doesnt it.

my hubby wanted to be a fireman when he was at secondary school and the teachers told him that "he was too thick and wouldnt amount to anything". now he is dyslexic. composes the most fantastic songs. and most importantly he is a great father.
You've just reminded me of a junior school teacher - goodness she was a mean minded cow. Everyone was scared of her but when I think back I realise she was just a bitter gin-raddled old spinster (rather like me now then :D). I was a very small, quiet, shy child but I was good with words. I'd come top of the class in some work and to my mortification my teacher (the sweet one who took top class) made me stand up in front of the class.

Mean-mouth came in, saw me and was told I'd come top of the class. :eek: Then this 50 year old woman looked this tiny 10 year old up and down and said "You're not half as good as you think you are" and flounced out. I mean WHAT was so lacking in her life she had to bad mouth a child? That affected me for years. :mad::mad:
 

aislingb

loves a curlywurly
#20
u keep your head up and be proud people like that arent worth your time. she's clearly jealous! you've done fantastic xxx
 


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