Joke of the day!
- Thread starter Maximus
- Start date
fillymum
synful soul
Long time since we had one of these....
News just in that the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra's triangle player has just disappeared.
Steve
Pathetic !!!!
Maximus
Gold Member
Harsh!
fillymum
synful soul
Yes, but you could not see me smiling when I typed that............
love you baby boy
mumsie xxxx
Shirleen
Gold Member
Groaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!
fillymum
synful soul
I would love to tell my viagra one but it might get deleted...........
Ah well here goes.........
Have you see the latest viagra ? It comes in a powder form.
You put it in your tea.
It does nothing for your sex life but it keeps your biscuits hard..............lol:8855::8855::8855:
Ah well here goes.........
Have you see the latest viagra ? It comes in a powder form.
You put it in your tea.
It does nothing for your sex life but it keeps your biscuits hard..............lol:8855::8855::8855:
Maximus
Gold Member
Yes, but you could not see me smiling when I typed that............
love you baby boy
mumsie xxxx
Smile? - oh I thought it was wind
I tried them viagra eye-drops as was having trouble swallowing with this sore throat. Did nothing for my sex life, but I now look hard
I rang one of those Elvis fan club lines - god I hate them automated phone services. I eventually got through and then the fun started.
Press 1 for the money
2 for the show......
fillymum
synful soul
1981 & 2005 - Two Interesting Years
Interesting Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe.
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.
Interesting Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe.
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.
Lesson to be learned:
The next time Charles gets married, someone should warn the Pope.
Interesting Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe.
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.
Interesting Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe.
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.
Lesson to be learned:
The next time Charles gets married, someone should warn the Pope.
curvesncurls
Full Member
Husband and wife watching tv one evening. Husband keeps flicking the channels back and forth: golf, porn, golf, porn, golf, porn, golf, porn, golf, porn, golf, porn....
Finally, the wife cracks and shouts: "Oh for God's sake, will you just leave it on the porn, you know how to play golf..."
Finally, the wife cracks and shouts: "Oh for God's sake, will you just leave it on the porn, you know how to play golf..."
fillymum
synful soul
An elderly couple was in bed one night and the woman woke up from a bad dream. She was scared and panicking. Her husband awoke and turned the light on to calm her. He asked what was wrong. She said "I had a dream that I died and you got remarried." she asked him "if I died tomorrow would you get remarried?" he said "sure, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life lonely." then she asked "well would you two live in this house?" he replied "sure, we just got finished paying off our mortgage." she asked again, angry now "well would she sleep in this bed?" he snickered and said "yes, of course, this bed is brand new and expensive, there's no reason to rid of it." she asked irately, "well would she use my golf clubs?" he replied with a straight, serious face "no. She's left handed."
fillymum
synful soul
Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It was driving down the road and then suddenly turned into a field.
....I'll go now
:8855::8855::8855:
fillymum
synful soul
Maurice an 82 year-old man went to the doctor for his physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Maurice walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Maurice and said, “You’re really doing great, aren't you?”
Maurice replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc: “Get a hot mama and be cheerful.”
The doctor said, “I did not say that. I said, “You got a heart murmur. Be careful
A few days later the doctor saw Maurice walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Maurice and said, “You’re really doing great, aren't you?”
Maurice replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc: “Get a hot mama and be cheerful.”
The doctor said, “I did not say that. I said, “You got a heart murmur. Be careful
3106Catherine
Silver Member
I love this thread
fillymum
synful soul
A biology teacher wished to demonstrate to his students the harmful effects of alcohol on living organisms. For his experiment, he showed them a beaker with pond water in which there was a thriving civilization of worms. When he added some alcohol into the beaker the worms doubled-up and died.
"Now," he said,” what do you learn from this?"
An eager student gave his answer.
"Well the answer is obvious," he said " if you drink alcohol, you'll never have worms."
"Now," he said,” what do you learn from this?"
An eager student gave his answer.
"Well the answer is obvious," he said " if you drink alcohol, you'll never have worms."
fillymum
synful soul
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"
