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jokes for the ladies!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by flirty40greeneyes, 13 August 2007 Social URL.

  1. flirty40greeneyes

    flirty40greeneyes Busy busy busy!!

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    [FONT=MS Sans Serif, Geneva]1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? [/FONT][FONT=MS Sans Serif, Geneva](because they are plugged into a genius) [/FONT]

    [FONT=MS Sans Serif, Geneva]2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? [/FONT](they don't have enough time)

    [FONT=MS Sans Serif, Geneva]3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? [/FONT]
    [FONT=MS Sans Serif, Geneva](they don't stop to ask directions) [/FONT]

    4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
    [FONT=MS Sans Serif, Geneva](because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock) [/FONT]
    5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? [FONT=MS Sans Serif, Geneva](so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties) [/FONT]

    [FONT=MS Sans Serif, Geneva]6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? [/FONT](you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

    [FONT=MS Sans Serif, Geneva]7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? [/FONT][FONT=MS Sans Serif, Geneva](don't know.....it never happened) [/FONT]
    [FONT=MS Sans Serif, Geneva]8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? [/FONT][FONT=MS Sans Serif, Geneva](because a vibrator can't mow the lawn) [/FONT]

    [FONT=MS Sans Serif, Geneva][/FONT]One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied.. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."

    And they say blondes are dumb... -----------------------------------------------

    A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you...."

    -----------------------------------------------------

    "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied

    ----------------------------
    Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor

    -----------------------------------------------------------

    Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
    -------------------------------------------------------------Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. ----------------------------</B>Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

    [FONT=MS Sans Serif, Geneva]----------------------------------------------------------- [/FONT]

    Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual."
     
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  3. Linda5111

    Linda5111 I can do this.

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    that was so funny... even my OH can't stop laughing.
     
  4. Hedgemag

    Hedgemag Cambridge Diet Counsellor

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    Brilliant....LMAO!
     
  5. pandora

    pandora finding my way again !

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    so so true :rotflmao:
     
  6. Fuzzys Angel

    Fuzzys Angel The Lovely James Hetfield

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    :rotflmao: so very very true x
     
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