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Jo's beautiful bridesmaid dress diary

Hi there,

Millionth attempt at Slimming World/Heathly Eating/Project Size 12! I've decided to call this my 'up and down' diary as that's the kind of person that I am, I have really up days and really down days but try to help myself as much as I can (its an ongoing war between me and my fridge!).

I've recently decided to go down the self-help book route, never really been into this before but am always willing to try anything to lose weight and sort myself out food-wise. The two that I have found most helpful are 'Overcoming Weight Problems' (the author of which escapes me) and 'Eating Less: Say Goodbye to Overeating' by Gillian Riley, both of which are fantastic, I got both out from the library and brought myself a new notepad and pretty pens, read them over the course of about 8 weeks by dipping in and out alongside the normal books I read, making notes on passages I felt relevant to me, writing down inspirational quotes etc and points to remember. I really feel that I've learned a lot from them and can recommend the 'back to basics' approach to really eating healthily and adressing over-eating issues. I thought I'd got both licked but both of these books have taught me that I'm not half as clever as I think I am.

I've also recently enjoyed Gymophobics and am liking the changes in my body that I've noticed over the past few weeks. I'm just under 13st now and determined not to see the number 13 again, I'm boycotting the scales in my bathroom and considering hiding them in the loft, at the moment I'm weighing in at the gym every week or so which helps me worry about it less.

All in all I'm enjoying life at the moment and looking forward to getting this weight off once and for all and becoming a much healthier happier person.
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hi joroger welcome to minimins, i also have up and down, in the past i had more down then up ones and put weight on instead of off lol, i still have them but with the help and support on here have managed to turn it round so i have more good days and hopefuly will lose the weight good luck on your weight loss journey :)
Hi Val, thanks for your reply, congratulations on your weight loss so far, I know what you mean about the support on here it is really invaluable at keeping me going, stopping me eating if anything as I can quite easily eat 2 bags of crisps while surfing the net, on here though its so busy and with lots of different people sharing their stories and so on that I'm more interested in reading through posts and replying than thinking about eating, which is definitely a good thing.

Really hoping I can find the strength within myself to keep on ploughing away at this, I'm a real all-or-nothing person, I have to have everything thought out, planned for, shopped for, all my menus written out and on the fridge, otherwise I lose motivation. I'm so eager to look for excuses to eat, especially now the weather is getting colder and darker.

I always think that other people have it so easy, even when I'm reading through the success stories in the SW magazines etc I always think that these people are some sort of magical alien type people who don't have real lives, but the beauty of this site is that you can see that it isn't like that at all, we all have the same issues and worries and battles with food and our weight, and every little success is battled for and well deserved. I find this board really helpful and motivational in making me think not only that others are the same as me, but those others the same as me can do and DO do it, so so can I!
This sounds a lot like me. I have lots of down days and lose motivation. I don't understand why as I am a bit of a control freak with everything else and hate failing so why can't I be more in control when it comes to food. I'm in control for most of the time but then some days I'm ok for the majority of the day, then suddenly its like someone flicked a switch and I'm binging on what ever is to hand. Other days I have to find things to keep me busy as all I'll think about is food. I wish I was able to forget about food.

I may have to look at those books. Gymophobics sounds good too, I love gym classes. :D

I hope you can stay motivated and lose the weight you're aiming for. Good luck
This sounds a lot like me. I have lots of down days and lose motivation. I don't understand why as I am a bit of a control freak with everything else and hate failing so why can't I be more in control when it comes to food. I'm in control for most of the time but then some days I'm ok for the majority of the day, then suddenly its like someone flicked a switch and I'm binging on what ever is to hand. Other days I have to find things to keep me busy as all I'll think about is food. I wish I was able to forget about food.

I may have to look at those books. Gymophobics sounds good too, I love gym classes. :D

I hope you can stay motivated and lose the weight you're aiming for. Good luck
Can identify with so much of your post, I have that switch too, usually if I'm on my own and receive bad news or have a setback, then I'll start eating whatever I can get my hands on and its even worse if I'm out and anywhere near a shop! I'm a real impulsive emotional over-eater according the books I've been reading, I don't know how to control that switch but maybe its that one last thing stopping us from being totally 100% on track, some built-in rebel button :confused: all I know is I wish I could be in control of it! Like you I like to be in control of everything around me. I guess even in-control people have to let rip sometimes; maybe we could find something else to vent that self-destruct button on - i.e. maybe if I'm in town, alone, and have a set back, I could buy a new item of clothing or something to vent that way, or if I'm at home, busy my hands online shopping or something.

I guess the bingeing is our way of punishing ourselves/situations when something happens that is out of our control, and eating is the easiest and cheapest way to let rip. I don't know of the best way to try and turn that button off, but I know I did have some luck answering a lot of questions and making notes and setting goals etc when I read those books.

Maybe we need to lighten up a bit, not be so mega in-control, then we won't feel the need to go totally wild food-wise when something slips out of our control. Does that make sense? I know if I've had a bad day and something has slipped out of my control even through no fault of my own, I'll really punish myself for losing control by...losing control of my eating!! :sigh: its something that takes a lot of work to erase from our natural behaviour, but on the whole, if you are usually pretty good, the odd mad five minutes won't make a lot of difference to the overall picture, its more mainly about planning and staying on top of things as much as you can.

I've had a pretty crap day which I've felt boiling up since yesterday, really all I'd like to do now is just crawl into bed with a hot water bottle and wait for tomorrow to arrive! Eating has been awful, thanks to total lack of planning, and its got to the point where I now don't want any tea, just want warmth and bed!
I know exactly what you mean. We should try not to control everything. There was an article in on of the recent SW mags about zapping your inner perfectionist. We so need to do that.

Sorry to hear you've had a bad day hun. Hope you have a better day tomorrow. Night night x
I know exactly what you mean. We should try not to control everything. There was an article in on of the recent SW mags about zapping your inner perfectionist. We so need to do that.

Sorry to hear you've had a bad day hun. Hope you have a better day tomorrow. Night night x
Thanks am hoping today will be better. I remember reading that article, it is true, my inner perfectionist seriously needs to shut up!! I've got my little boy's harvest festival today which I'm really looking forward to as its his first, he's so proud of his little basket bless him, then I'm meeting an old friend (who just happens to be an SW C!! Much picking of brains there I reckon) then I'm off food shopping to wonderful old Sainsbury's, having made my weekly menu and shopping list last night. It is my real target to get through the weekend and all of next week. My one treat will be some Butterkist Popcorn in front of the X Factor on Saturday night, really looking forward to that!!
Aww bless him, hope it goes well for him. How old is he??
Have a great day hun xxx
Aww bless him, hope it goes well for him. How old is he??
Have a great day hun xxx
He's nearly four. He looked so cute holding his basket and singing all the hyms. Just got in and had a ryvita, now waiting for my friend to turn up, will have the soup at the pub we are going to for lunch as I'm having a jacket for my tea. Got lots to ask my consultant friend about, especially what she does when/if people are talking thru her meeting, which was one of the threads that caught my eye this week. It is one of my pet hates and the main reason why I don't bother going to meetings; yes it is nice to see people and exchange stories and tips and so on but its just courtesy and politeness not to keep doing so when the C is talking! Will be interested in her thoughts on the matter.

Here's to a successful weekend for us all, for me its my shakiest time but I know that I've got that yummy popcorn to look forward to so I won't want to ruin anything else.
Have had a very nice, uplifting, positive day, had a lovely lunch with my friend the SW consultant, for me it was brilliant as I haven't seen her for two years (!! but its one of those friendships where you just pick up where you left off last time) and in that two years she has lost 4 stone and looks unbelieveable - she had a massive health scare and was ordered to lose weight by her doctor and went from a size 22 to a size 12-14 in six months! She totally lives and breathes SW and the thing is that she was actually even more of a food-lover than me, and admitted herself that she was the world's most reluctant dieter and exerciser but that when she realised how amazing SW is and how it changed her life she just wanted to help as many people as possible and so decided to become a Consultant. I can imagine that she is a brilliant one as she's a very commanding, friendly and encouraging person. We're currently 'in negotiations' to try and set one up in my area which would be amazing if we can pull it off, she has said she would love me to help if she can set it up, which would be brilliant for me as the venue is literally five minutes away and really help me with my confidence and so on.

I really was so inspired and happy for her, I haven't seen her since she's lost the weight, and it really gave me a lot of reasons to carry on, plus so much more 'real life proof' that it does actually work, by having a friend where I can see the evidence for myself, rather than in a magazine.

Good day all in all x

Jane R

Silver Member
Hi Joroger, just been reading through your diary. I can identify with a lot that you have written about and also found your last post very uplifting. I have been on and off a diet since I was 4yrs old - which makes that 50 years! You would think that I would have learnt my lesson by now!
Anyway good luck with the weekend:)X
Today didn't really go so great personally but diet-wise it was good - made some good choice in Sainsbury's then got myself a little pack of their pink lady & grape lunch bag things, only 50p, really yummy. My OH suggested having a bag of the crisps I'd got him for his lunches next week instead - wrong! I just knew I'd be hungry on the way home as it was just before lunchtime that we finally finished shopping (never doing Sainsbury's on a Saturday again - madness!) and so I felt I made a really sensible choice there.

We had jacket potatoes done in the fire which were yummy, with a tuna, sweetcorn and green pepper mix, only thing is tho boy do I have a major upset tummy, think I've been building up to it all week as I've been feeling really sick after meals, ouchy my tummy hurts! Am just trying to chill a bit with a peppermint tea then I'm off to bed.

Also had a text from my best friend who I'm being bridesmaid for next year, she said another friend of ours had seen me in town yesterday and that this friend said she thought I'd lost weight, which was great. My friend then said "I've known you 20 years and you always fight to get what you want and I know you can do this", which was so lovely of her.

So all in all its been a mixed bag of a day, had a row with my OH as his horrible cow of an ex is making our lives hell & he's decided to take it out on me :-( but all is not lost as I've been great diet-wise, just wish this horrible tummy pain would go :-(
Have got a doctors appointment in a while as I've really been suffering this weekend, the upset tummy I had moved to my right hand side so I'm thinking its yet another repeat of the nasty water infection that I have had on and off every few months for a few years, really hurts! Just realised that the doctor I've got to see is a male which might be a bit embarrassing, not that anyone who has given birth has much dignity, but even so I didn't consider it when I made the appt at a ridiculous hour this morning, oops!

Diet wise the weekend was ok in that I hardly ate anything, even my planned treat of Butterkist popcorn went wrong as I couldn't enjoy it much. Still, one of my old habits would have been to just eat any old rubbish but I was still very good in what I did eat yesterday - OH made a lovely roast dinner which I had more than enough syns for, tho still stuck to lots of veg and no roast potatoes. The meat was beef which was so SO yummy!

Hoping today will be yet another good dieting day, no reason why not!
Home from doctors, he's diagnosed me with IBS! Seeing as it can take some people years of battling for the diagnosis, I'm quite pleased - although I have had this pain in my side on and off for two years. I thought it was a water infection but he said no, its definitely IBS and probably through stress which doesn't surprise me at all, have certainly been having a lot of nasty stress lately with my OH's awful divorce which hopefully will be over next month after a court hearing, which I'm dreading.

Anyway he's given me some anti-spasmodic tablets which I'm very much looking forward to working, really need to get rid of this horrible stabbing pain. Food wise been very good so far, and I had a little victory as someone I haven't seen for at least 5 months said those magical words - "You've lost weight" - which made me very happy. Also yesterday my OH told me that my bum has got smaller :bliss::bunnydance:

Which made me feel a lot brighter! Positive day again today so far just really want to feel a heck of a lot better.
Mixed day so far, my little boy is really poorly with the tummy bug, which I also had too overnight so I'm still a bit sceptical about the Dr's IBS diagnosis, though it does fit what I can be like at other times. Feeling a bit down today as its the first time my little boy has been really ill :-(

Still, on the bright side, we dusted off our Wii Fit last night, the first time we've used it in a year! I was a bit awful to my OH when he got on the WI part, as he'd put on 15lbs across the year, which was a bit of a shock, and both me and my mum laughed at him which I then felt terrible about, as I would have been so mortified if the same thing had happened to me. Luckily he was laughing too as he wasn't really bothered (its all beer!) but it did make me think that I was a bit awful. However, when it was my turn I'd actually 'lost' 2lbs! So I am officially 2lbs lighter than this time last year, which might not sound that great, however since last year I'd put on a good 9lbs so thats all gone now, I'd have been so embarrassed tho had it been a big gain!

So its project Wii Fit again once this bug has cleared, feel totally washed out, both me and my DS are eating tho which is good, just tummy pains and frequent loo trips to contend with. Having a lazy day just me and him, will cuddle up in bed later and just generally try to get better.

SW egg flip pie for tea to try and bind things up a bit!
Hope your both better soon hun. I'm sure I have IBS as I have food triggers that set me off (egg being on of them), I've never been doctors about it as my doctors are rubbish and never listen. I've just learnt what foods I need to avoid.

I know what you mean about dignity after having a baby too, I'm having a minor op on thursday due to child birth. Its a male surgeon 2 years ago I would have been like no way, but now I'm just like oh whatever lol.

Hope things get easier with OHs ex. Sounds like a nightmare.
Well done on making the right choices, keep up the good work. xxx
Feeling much better today, and just about ready to tackle all the housework that has built up while I've been ill. A lot of other people around the area where I live have gone down with a similar bug so there definitely is something nasty going round, am just glad that it seems to have passed in this house.

Last night my OH and I finally got round to a job that we've been putting off for ages - clearing out the loft! He used to live here with his ex and I was convinced there was still loads of her stuff in the loft; and I was right, there was. Now its all in the skip though leaving me feeling a lot better and more secure now that I can say that everything in this house belongs to me or my OH. I hated the thought of all that junk being up there where I couldn't see it. Had a good evil laugh at all her awful photos and ripped up a few wedding cards (yes, I am a total *****!) and generally made myself feel a darn sight better. There's nothing the evil cow can say about it as there's a clause in the divorce whereby everything that is now in the individuals possession is there's to do what they want with. She's the most impossibly horrible person who gives me nightmares so hopefully there will be a bit less of them once the skip man comes and collects the junk! She lives miles away (thank God in heaven!) so she won't find out about it.

Is quite amazing the difference it has made to my stress levels. Later on I might go and smash a few old plates in there, just to really make sure any extra stress has gone!

Vixmania I hope your op goes ok x
:ashamed0005:Urgh I had a spectacular fall off of the wagon today :( only got myself to blame, had one of those real rubbishy wishy-washy days, morning started out well, had a nice surf round on various websites to start the day, managed to clean my kitchen and bathroom, half clear the living room, sort out last nights dried washing etc. Then the post arrived.:badmood:massive black cloud!

A letter from the CSA claiming we owe £800 in arrears to my OH's ex. She had apparently asked them to take on the case (rather than us paying her direct as has occured for the last 2yrs) back in May but they didn't contact us to inform us, meanwhile we've been paying her direct into her bank account but the CSA think we've been paying nothing. Mega stress out from me, make OH come home and ring them, turns out to be a mistake, and, all sorted. Morning panic over. Phew!

Afternoon then consisted of OH leaving at lunch, me not getting my lunch, one of my bestest friends and her daughter arriving, phone calls from various people, new boots arriving :bliss:yay they are totally gorgeous, and just in time for Halloween which was what I wanted. So, I now have 2 adults 2 children in my small living room. Still no lunch! Then, another friend whose 2yr old daughter I am looking after 2moro arrives. With her husband and 3 children :sigh:. So that then made 4 adults and 5 children in my tiny living room. Still no lunch! By now my head is spinning. They all then leave apart from my DS and friend's DD. Phone calls, another parcel, OH arrives, still not eaten lunch, my best friend arrives full of wedding plans, bridesmaids shoes for me that don't fit, row about no I cannot wear shoes all day that don't fit, they need to go back :blahblah::blahblah::blahblah: head really really like The Exorcist now, friend's DD totally winding up my little boy, he's whinging, I'm trying to eat the wedding magazine in my attempt for some kind of therapy transportation stress relief, oh did I forget to mention I'd hardly had a thing to eat?!! Now its nearly six, friend's DD and my DS leave for tea at friend's house...and relax. Oops still no dinner. Chinese? says OH. "Just feed me!" says I, half an hour later, there I am blindly stuffing my face. Now am starving hungry AGAIN because its the old MSG-fest Chinese, feeling bad because :booboo: still totally :flamingmad: at the CSA letter and OH's god-awful money-grabbing ex, feeling totally overwhelmed at the sheer number of visitors, callers and events of today, totally shattered, feeling rather gross BUT am still positive that I can start again tomorrow.

Phew! With all that I need to go to the pub..oh no, can't, OH has gone down there, 'hard day' apparently! :rolleyes:
Hi everyone, just checking in to say that I am still here, just very down at the moment, things going from bad to worse with my OH's legal battles with his ex, we have a court case in two weeks which I am very stressed and upset about.

Diet not going to plan at all, after getting over awful tummy bug I've been left with either no appetite at all or just eating total rubbish, being rewarded with greasy hair and a spotty face as a result!

Am still going to my gym sessions which are very helpful, my mum is taking my DS to the park and on long walks so I can try and chill out a bit which is helping a lot, am really weepy and clingy and needy with my OH, who is being really strong and trying to stop me from being such a stress-head.

Just really need for all this to be well and truly over, which hopefully it will be in two weeks time.

Wanted to check in and say hi xx
hi joroger try not to get stressed it doesn't help the situation just makes it worse try and put the court case to the back of ur mind otherwise u will make urself ill (i know it 's easier said than done) and don't beat urself up if u have a blip on ur diet just draw a line under it and start again the next day, if u have got ibs try having a dairy and wheat free diet my friend has ibs and went to a weight loss group and this is what the diet was she was a bit sceptical to begin with but since she's been following it has not had any problems she has soya milk and cheese and buys all products with out wheat in and she's lost 1 stone in a few weeks might be worth a try, keep ur chin up thinking of u xx

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