Just Keep Swimming

[justkeepswimming14]

Why is it so hard to keep motivated? I have been asking myself the same question every day since before Christmas. "I'll start January" turns to "I'll start February" and that has well and truly turned to "I'll start March". And I actually have to this time! I work out that 3 months from March is May, and that is well and truly summer. I also worked out that I think I'll need a good, proper 3 months to lose the weight and get into the shape I want to. That's not long - only 12 weeks. But I really do need to start now.

My vices are 'treating myself', after a long day at work or when I'm hungover. I work quite a stressful job, but absolutely love it. But I need to accept that stress is part of my life and I need to work out ways to manage it. I usually make good choices in the daytime, but as soon as I leave work I always end up buying lots snacks for the journey home - and binge. Today was a whole packet of biscuits, a big sharing bag of crisps and a sharing bar of dairy milk. I usually come home and don't want anyone to know I've been secret eating, so make myself have dinner even when I feel sick and am not hungry in the slightest.

But tomorrow, that habit breaks. The way I see it, if I'm to actually make changes for life, I need to break the habits that are weighing me down (no pun intended.. oh go on then it was ). So the goal for this week: no buying binge food on the way home from work. That's it, that's my goal. Seems small and very manageable, but I'm hoping that I can kick one thing per week to hopefully break them for good.

My general diet plan is semi-varied. I plan to do either 1 or 2 days where I only eat 500 calories (the 5:2 diet) and on the other days try and eat as little sugar as possible. I won't worry too much about calorie counting on other days, and if I want one 'treat day' a week I will. Or just a 'treat meal' if I'm feeling extra confident! I've had success with 5:2 in the past and feel it can fit in my life quite well, and just to be healthy I want to cut as much added sugar as possible (fruit is still good!).

I just want to feel better in myself!! I feel like cr*p at the minute, bloated and spotty and tired and grumpy and I just want to get back to where I was about a year ago when I lost about a stone and felt amazing. I figure that I have 3 weeks until I see some friends again I havn;t seen in a while, and although would love to have lost a load of weight anything will make me feel better as we're going on a night out and photos will be taken! But my goal for the week is no binge food in the car. Lets deal with that first.

 

[Charleybarley]

Hi

I read your post with interest - what you say does resonate with me somewhat. I am a great self-rewarder and my pat on the back comes in all forms - wine, crisps, takeaways.... I too have quite a stressful job and I find that to stay alert during the day I shouldn't have the heavy lunches I used to have - I am on WW which for the moment is suiting me. Its all about what fits into your life and what keeps you going. I loved SW and did it for years, but I found that I was having massive portions of food and feeling sluggish. My "hunger" time is most definitely on the way home from work or just before - I would say between 4pm and 6pm, like you I have been known to snaffle food on the train or even worse I graze through the afternoon because I would panic that lunch wouldn't hold me until tea time! Its daft. What I have started to do is make a snack a "pre-dinner" snack to have either just before I leave work for the evening or on the train. Its just a small Warburton Thin with a tiny spread of something, it keeps me going until teatime and it stops me spending unnecessary spending. Maybe you could try that.

Good luck and don't see it as "I only have 12 weeks" because that sends you into panic mode and I don't know about you but I stress enough about things, my diet, I have learned to take as it comes. Just do what you can, think of it as looking after your body, giving you more energy, less grumpy, less bloated and clearer skin. Fresh fruit and veg and lots of water has done wonders to my skin and it give you a spring in your step knowing you are giving your body good stuff, your body will reward you back. I promise.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you, just remember slow and steady wins the race.

x

 

[justkeepswimming14]

Thanks Charley, that's such nice advice to have. I think I was more thinking of 'I only have to put up with this for 12 weeks' type rather than panicking, but you are totally right and I'll keep it day-to-day. Sometimes I even need it hour by hour! And with the snacking on the way home thing, I'm not even hungry but choose to have food because I feel I deserve it. I need to keep telling myself that I'm not a dog, and I don't need food 'treats' to keep me happy!

Had a good day today - my first 500 calorie day in a long time and it actually went better than expected. I ate a lot yesterday ('quick, I'm dieting tomorrow, eat everything in sight! ) so wasn't that hungry today. Tried to drink water but got caught up in work so probably didn't drink as much as I should have. But the good thing is.. I didn't buy food and snack on the way home! That's the first time in ages I have;t and I feel good

For my fast I didn't eat anything until I got home from work, and then just had steak, half a jacket potato and lots of veg. And a small yogurt for pudding. Nicely added up to my 500 calories I am now quite hungry but feel OK that I can just go to sleep soon. I hope I sleep OK - I normally do but know that fasting can sometimes mess the sleep pattern up. I'll report back tomorrow anyway looking forward to having a nice breakfast!

 

[justkeepswimming14]

Had another good (well, OK) day. Wasn't a fasting day so I could eat what I pleased, however was trying to stick to low sugar. Didn't totally work but worked enough for me to keep smiling

B - Boiled eggs x 2, grilled tomatoes and a stick of cheddar cheese
S - Banana (11am)
L - Chicken salad and Naked bar
D - Bit of a mix up. I was starving by the time I got home from work (late, as usual) so ended up having the last two biscuits in the tin and a white barm with some butter. Not great for the low sugar! But had fajitas with lots of veg, without the tortillas so thats all good. Yogurt for pudding.

So today could have gone 'perfect' if I hadn't had those two more unhealthy items, but I am happy as I stuck to my goal for another day.. Don't buy food and snack on the way home! I also dodged a bullet as went to the shops after work and they had my favourite chocolate on sale. Just walked straight past, like a pro ha ha. But in all seriousness, I am quite happy with my day. Hopefully tomorrow can be even better!

Just debating whether to have my fast day tomorrow or Friday. Tomorrow would be better for my schedule, as I'm busy in work most of the day and so will most likely be able to forget the hunger. However I like to leave it 2 non-fast days between fast days in order for my body to be caught up/then surprised again. Which would make Friday a better choice. However, I don't have AS busy a day Friday, and am spending most of the afternoon catching up on admin rather than busy with people. So might notice the hunger a bit more? Hmmm decisions. But I'll have to decide tonight. Maybe Friday would be a better bet, especially if I don't take my purse into work so I'm not tempted to buy something? Think I've convinced myself

 

[justkeepswimming14]

Pretty good day. Was able to acknowledge cravings and dismiss them (although they weren't intense, maybe about a 3/10). Although weighed myself for the first time in a long time.. 11 and a half stone! That's the biggest I think I've ever been and it worries me. I just want it gone now But if anything I suppose it should give me a motivation boost. Just keep swimming! Having another fast day tomorrow which I'm kind of looking forward to because I know it's a step further to my goal and also because I'll feel better/less bloated. But also a bit worried - my first fast I did after a 'the night before the diet' where I stuffed my mouth with everything in sight! Now I have eaten a normal amount (maybe a little more than I needed this evening to keep me going through tomorrow) and am a little worried about the hunger. But need to acknowledge that hunger is OK and it's good to feel hungry. It will pass.

B - Avocado on rye bread x 2
L - Chicken salad with a bit of cheese, 1 naked bar
S - apple
D - Roast chicken with homemade chips and roast veg, yogurt and grapes for pud.

So not too bad. And I'm happy that I completed my goal again of no buying food and snacking on the way home - I did think about it, but it was easy enough to tell myself no. Let's hope it's that easy to tell myself no to food tomorrow!

 

[themiddle]

keep swimming and I totally get what you're saying in your first paragraph, I've been saying the same every year for the past 6 years. Keep going xx

 

[justkeepswimming14]

keep swimming and I totally get what you're saying in your first paragraph, I've been saying the same every year for the past 6 years. Keep going xx

Thank you!!

 

[justkeepswimming14]

Great day! Went to the gym for the first time in ages thanks to the persuasion of my friend. Really didn't want to go but glad I did in the end. Didn't do long, but it's something. Had a fast day as well, which I thought would be hard because I exercised and that normally makes me hungrier but it was fine. Didn't eat anything until about 3pm when I had a carton of covent garden soup which is about 250 calories for the whole 600g. It is so filling as well, definitely going to be a staple fast day food. Got quite hungry later, but unsure if it was 'real' hunger. My stomach wasn't rumbling but I felt I needed something, which didn't go away when I drank water. So had another pot of soup about 8pm which sorted me out. I'm so full, even now nearly 3 hours later. Unlike me to be full going to bed on a fast day. And I keep thinking I must have cheated - surely I can't eat THAT much on a fast day? That's practically 2 whole meals. But unless someone comments that I've worked out the calories horribly wrong... Ok just checked and I'm 28 calories over. The horror! Ha ha. But seriously, it's crazy that they are so low in cals.

OK so i'll admit it. I had a teaspoon of ice cream that was going round. But I resisted so many chocolates and cakes in work today, I feel so good. Willpower is certainly here today and nothing will ruin it Just really need some scales in the house to measure consistently, rather than at work when I'll be wearing different things each week etc.

But in total = good fast day.

 

[justkeepswimming14]

So today hasn't been the greatest, but I have one victory. Lets start with the not-so-good

B - Ham and tomato Omelette - good
S - apple and naked bar - good
L - Carton of soup - good, 2 white tiger barms with lots of marg - not-s0-good
S - 3 spoonfuls of nutella - not-so-good
D - homemade chorizo paella (2 bowls) and garlic bread (4 pieces)- not-so-good

So I've had a pretty indulgent day, to say the least. But I know my downfall. My boyfriend was coming round for the evening and I wanted to make paella, something nice but not tooooo bad. But as I was cooking I realised that I didn't have enough rice to make a full portion for both of us! So needed to bulk the meal out so it was enough, and (rightly or wrongly) decided to do that by putting garlic bread in. Then he didn't eat all of his so I ate the rest! Also, I know I didn't make the healthiest choices at lunch time because I knew I wouldn't be having the most healthy of dinners. So my unrational, unlogical brain goes, 'Hey, you're not going to be totally 100% healthy tonight for dinner, so why bother now? Might as well make the most of it!'. I am soon black and white, I have a good day or a bad day, nothing in between. And that's another big habit I have to stop - I need to learn that just because I've had something slightly not good, it doesn't mean the rest of the day has to follow suit.

However, in spite of it all, I have two small victories. 1) Even though I had the bread and nutella as all-or-nothing extras, I went to the shops and didn't give in to the temptation of buying a load of chocolate. Something I reaaaalllyyyy wanted to do. But I refrained, and for that I am happy. Number 2) is that this is the 5th day that I have not bought food and ate it in the car. I'm thinking of putting a total ban on eating in the car from now on actually, not just when binging. But I'm happy I am 5 days binge free

Another non-fast day tomorrow so going to try really hard to keep it really healthy, which will hopefully make me feel a bit better about today. Although I am hoping that I start to feel better in myself soon - I don't feel like I have lost any weight at all. I know it's only been 5 days but I have fasted for two of them so was really hoping to feel even a little smaller. But I'll persevere - I have another fast day planned Monday so hopefully I'll feel better after that one.

 

[justkeepswimming14]

So yesterday was a big disaster diet-wise. Work is always such a trigger! Lots of tea & toast, biscuits and cakes, which continued out of work and into the evening. A sharing block of dairy milk, a whole tray of thorntons millionaire shortbread and a sharing tub of rocky road. Not shared at all. Lots of bread and butter. It's so embarrassing to write - I don't know why there is so much shame to attach to binge eating, but I certainly felt awful. I keep eating even when I feel sick! Why is that?! Something psychological most definitely, but just wonder what it takes to break that. I even ate in the car, something I've really been good at stopping myself doing.

But anyway, I could sit here and moan about it or I could draw a line through and not let a bad day turn into a bad week. I was really looking forward to my fast day today after all that food yesterday. I didn't eat all day, then had a bowl of homemade sausage stew for dinner which was lovely. I didn't feel very hungry today though, and don't think I've felt truly hungry on a fast day so far due to the amount of food I have been eating the day/night before. That's my new goal for this week, to try and not overeat on non-fast days. Just 3 meals a day, nothing more or less. And going to try and keep up the no eating in the car, I was proud of myself for mostly sticking to that last week as it is a big thing for me.

 

[justkeepswimming14]

Another day off the wagon. Kind of have an excuse, kind of not. I'm starting a new training programme at the gym tomorrow which is 6 weeks long. So had my 'last supper' type evening tonight and ate what I want. Looking forward to the start again tomorrow.

 

[Cavegirl21]

Good Luck with your new start today. I've had lots of 'last suppers' over the 30 odd years I was dieting.
I do a food plan on a Sunday for the week and try to stick to it as much as possible.