just received this in an email sooo funny

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by nannydi, 13 August 2008 Social URL.

  1. nannydi

    nannydi wants a new body

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    HEALTH- QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

    Q:
    I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

    A:
    Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise.. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


    _____
    Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

    A:
    You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

    _____
    Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

    A:
    No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

    _____
    Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

    A:
    Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

    _____
    Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

    A:
    Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

    _____
    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

    A:
    YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

    _____
    Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

    A:
    Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

    _____
    Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

    A:
    Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

    _____
    Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

    A:
    If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

    _____
    Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

    A:
    Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

    _____
    Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

    And remember:


    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming

    "WOO HOO, What a Ride
     
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  3. Toots

    Toots Gold Member

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    Good one !!:giggle:
     
  4. rainbow

    rainbow Gold Member

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    love it nannydi xxx
     
  5. Undisturbedgirl

    Undisturbedgirl Silver Member

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    Nannydi, are you sure you didn't write that and this is your way of telling us you are leaving SW?

    Because i won't bloody let you :p
     
  6. still1

    still1 Full Member

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    LOL, you made my day, i hope you or anyone will not take it seriously, it just a joke and a good one.
    still1 x
     
  7. Taz

    Taz Spam Hunter

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    Ha ha I was going to say the same thing. The more naive among us may actually belive that to be true! That is funny
     
  8. missrachyp

    missrachyp Full Member

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    haha if only it was true hey! x
     
  9. nannydi

    nannydi wants a new body

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    as if i gonna go anywhere i am going to do this if it kills me i want to "fab and forty" not "fat and forty"
    just had a bed week , will be back with a vengeance ( i hope lol)

    i thought it was funny
    xxx
     
  10. zenabob2105

    zenabob2105 Silver Member

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  11. Bananas

    Bananas Gold Member

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    Q:Is swimming good for your figure?

    A:
    If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.



    Heehee
     
  12. Undisturbedgirl

    Undisturbedgirl Silver Member

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    YAY! When are you 40?

    And i know you will have a great week coming *hugs*

    x
     
  13. still1

    still1 Full Member

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    my xplaination is that WHALE IS A MAMMAL NOT A FISH lol:)
     
  14. Charisma

    Charisma Silver Member

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    but it still swims
     
  15. nannydi

    nannydi wants a new body

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    40 next march lol
     
  16. Bananas

    Bananas Gold Member

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    Yes. They are warm blooded, not cold blooded so they need the blubber to survive in the icy waters.

    Sound like I'm taking this seriously, I'm not, I thought it was a funny line

    :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
     
  17. still1

    still1 Full Member

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    lol
    maybe it does not, maybe it just float. lol:)
     
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  19. shrinkingsue

    shrinkingsue Full Member

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  20. misscheeky

    misscheeky Gold Member

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    very good!! :giggle:
     
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