Step 1 Sole Source + Just tell me when I get to goal!

[Cee]

So I've started CWP... AGAIN!
I have firmly told my consultant not to tell me how much I weigh at any point until I reach my goal of 10st 10lbs.
I know I'm under 15 st and that was all I wanted to know. The last time I checked was about 4 weeks ago and I weighed about 14st12lbs My highest (apart from when I was pregnant)

 

[Cee]

My reasons for not wanting to know my weight are
1. Knowing my starting weight would only upset me anyway!
2. Knowing how much weight I lose each week will possibly result in a binge. I have a big loss and celebrate with a Chinese takeaway, a small loss makes me feel like I'm wasting my time and results in a Chinese takeaway.
So the consultant has been told to remain expressionless when she sees my loss or gain each week.
Yes! Odd!
I'm on day 3 now. Apart from the headache and weakness I feel fine and I'm positive.
This summer, I won't feel self conscious on the beach!

 

[Cee]

Day 4 done! Legs ache for some reason. Sin of ketosis? Dunno!
Anyway, I'm not hungry or weak now. Headache is gone. I do have the runs though (sorry TMI)
I have not weighed myself at home ( broken scales help with that)
Feeling positive. Feeling good. I can't wait to see my CDC a week on tues. not sure why, I won't be finding out how much I've lost anyway. Haha! First day at work since starting and apart from frequent visits to the loo. I did well. Totally ignored the Greggs and other smells! Proud of myself.
Here's hoping day 5 is even better.

 

[sugarised]

lol i like your style, i'd get so impatien! so go you!!

 

[Anastazia35]

I don't know if I could do that...
Losing weight is what keep me going.
Good luck.x

 

[JussyMC]

Good luck cee! Have to say I am inspired by your method! Sounds like you are definitely in ketosis now too... Gooood luck! X

 

[Cee]

Thank you all for your encouraging words. It means a lot.
So my day 5 is pretty much over.
So far in the last 5 days, I resisted popcorn at the movies on day 2, my little girls brought me breakfast in bed on day 3, Weetabix. I hugged them both and thanked them with kisses and apologised for not being able to eat it. :-(
On day 4 I resisted Greggs. Day 5 saw me throwing loads of leftover food away and telling myself 'all that would have gone in your big mouth if not for CWP'. Also got some birthday cake from a friend which I managed to keep for the girls.
So... I am doing good. No more painful legs. Even finding it relatively easy to drink the water. I can already feel my jeans getting loose. Bring on day 6!

 

[JussyMC]

Wow- some amazing resistance skills there! Bless your girls for bringing you weetabix- and well done you for not eating it for their benefit!!!

You must be well on your way now- super impressed with you... Are you ever going to ask what your weight/loss is or has been? In genuinely impressed - I need to see results on scales or I lose momentum but you seem to be focused on the journey... Not the now. If you see what I mean....? So good!

Glad you are feeling strong and happy with it xx

 

[Cee]

Hi Jussy, thanks! I am naturally very impatient so I don't know if I will give in and ask my weight, but right now, I don't even want to know at all. I know if I stick to it I will lose the weight. That's what I'm banking on. I have restarted CWP so many times, unsuccessfully. Weighing myself everyday, getting obsessed with it all. Now, not knowing my weight / losses, kinda helps me stop thinking too much about it. My life isn't about trying to stick to the diet now. I've just changed what I eat and I'm getting on with my life.
I am thinking I should reach my goal in about 4 months as i think i have around 4st to lose, so I know around when I should be expecting my consultant to tell me that I'm at goal. But if I do give in, I will pop it on here

 

[JussyMC]

Hi Jussy, thanks! I am naturally very impatient so I don't know if I will give in and ask my weight, but right now, I don't even want to know at all. I know if I stick to it I will lose the weight. That's what I'm banking on. I have restarted CWP so many times, unsuccessfully. Weighing myself everyday, getting obsessed with it all. Now, not knowing my weight / losses, kinda helps me stop thinking too much about it. My life isn't about trying to stick to the diet now. I've just changed what I eat and I'm getting on with my life.
I am thinking I should reach my goal in about 4 months as i think i have around 4st to lose, so I know around when I should be expecting my consultant to tell me that I'm at goal. But if I do give in, I will pop it on here

Well that makes perfect sense! Takes away the obsessing part of it which is very good thing!

Good luck to you- keep us posted on your journey- you really are doing amazingly well xxx

 

[Cee]

Thanks Jussy. How're you doing on yours? x



Ok! So I thought I should let you see what my SS+ meals are like. The one above is my favourite so far. A stir fry with Zero noodles. I added 1 egg and half the prawn allowance and 80g of veg, cayenne pepper and some stock. Yummy!!
The noodles fill me up and they have fibre which helps ;-)
I've been making ice cream with my packs too. It's great because I sit down eating a huge bowl of it and feel like I've been naughty lol!
Roll on day 8 and then the weekend.

 

[JussyMC]

That looks awesome! I love zero noodles myself but hadn't thought of putting an egg in- egg fried noodles! Awesome idea! You could add a few prawns too and some chilli.... Lime juice, coriander? Hmmm sounds lush!

I'm going ok... Been doing 810 and stuck on same weight for 3 days now... So I think I'm going to take it down a step to SS+ for a couple of days... Back to 810 Sunday... See how that goes. I'd like to lose a lb or two by Monday to start the week on 9st11 or 9st12... It's my bday on Thursday and I have events planned thurs/fri and Sunday so think I'm going to screw it all up to be honest but wanted to lose a few more lbs before!!!

Trying not to feel disheartened- this is why your method is so awesome!!!

Xxx

 

[Cee]

Hiya,
I know exactly how you feel. When the scales don't do what you expect. But just keep at it. Your plan sounds good. Maybe you're retaining water or something, who knows. I've heard that the weight loss really slows down when you're close to yor goal weight. I hope the numbers start moving down for you before your bday. I bet you can't wait to show off your slimmer figure on your day
I might add some peppers next time I make my stir fry. Forgot about them lol. I'm wondering if the lime might affect the weight loss, citric acid and that? Dunno. Anyway, off to get the kiddies now. Let me know how stepping down to SS+ goes.
X

 

[Cee]

My ice cream dessert made with cookies & cream yum

 

[Cee]

I've been feeling a little off the past couple of days. Ended up eating a bit more chicken than I should've in my meal yesterday. Today I woke up feeling weak and dizzy. In the afternoon I realised why. T.O.M. I've been very irregular lately so I didn't really know when it would show. Explains why I've not been as strong and given in to eating more chicken. It felt like I was dying for it. Good thing I won't be told my weight because I'm I'm bloated and probably retaining lots of water now. Now that I know it's hormones playing with my determination, I don't have to think I am getting fed up of it. It's the hormones and they will settle in a week so, I just have to be a little stronger this week and I'll be fine
Anyway. Tonight I might have a stir fry again. Zero cal rice not noodles. Just trying it out for the first time today.

 

[Cee]

Zero rice wasn't great. I can take the rubberiness in the noodles but this seemed more rubbery and so almost didnt get to chew. Like the 'grains' were bouncing off my teeth. Lol.
Maybe haddock and veg tomorrow.

 

[Cee]

Feeling weak. Mentally. Wanting bread or pizza or crisps. So far I've managed to stay away from it all. I'm trying to be positive and think the right thoughts. Like 'I can do this, I just need to be strong for a few more days and I will be over the hormonal comfort eating desire. I'm trying to ignore the other little voices in my head telling me I can't last because I can't do without food for such a long time. I tell myself ' you give up now and then what?'
So I'm gonna try to get through today. Tomorrow I'm working opposite Greggs and next to a mother pastry shop. Literally 3 footsteps away from work. Will I have enough willpower tomorrow? Or the day after?
Time to go look at the before and after pics in the. CWP website forum methinks. :-(

 

[JussyMC]

<img src="http://www.minimins.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=81142"/>

Zero rice wasn't great. I can take the rubberiness in the noodles but this seemed more rubbery and so almost didnt get to chew. Like the 'grains' were bouncing off my teeth. Lol.
Maybe haddock and veg tomorrow.

Oh no- cos zero rice looks really good the way you have done it! Lol! Will avoid though since you said this- you're right- the noodles are quite rubbery enough! X

 

[JussyMC]

Feeling weak. Mentally. Wanting bread or pizza or crisps. So far I've managed to stay away from it all. I'm trying to be positive and think the right thoughts. Like 'I can do this, I just need to be strong for a few more days and I will be over the hormonal comfort eating desire. I'm trying to ignore the other little voices in my head telling me I can't last because I can't do without food for such a long time. I tell myself ' you give up now and then what?'
So I'm gonna try to get through today. Tomorrow I'm working opposite Greggs and next to a mother pastry shop. Literally 3 footsteps away from work. Will I have enough willpower tomorrow? Or the day after?
Time to go look at the before and after pics in the. CWP website forum methinks. :-(

Hi sweety.... Try to resist.... It IS worth it when you do. Don't fall off the wagon- I fell off again this weekend and I've put on 4lbs!!! I know you're not measuring like this but that is what happens. I also feel rank and have a food hangover. I literally feel hungover. But I'm not. Sooo not worth it.... Keep at it Hun- you're doing awesome xx

 

[Cee]

Hi sweety.... Try to resist.... It IS worth it when you do. Don't fall off the wagon- I fell off again this weekend and I've put on 4lbs!!! I know you're not measuring like this but that is what happens. I also feel rank and have a food hangover. I literally feel hungover. But I'm not. Sooo not worth it.... Keep at it Hun- you're doing awesome xx

Hi Jussy,
thanks for your encouragement. I managed to resist. I think, realising I had come further than I've ever been able to in all the times I have restarted CWP, made me not want to ruin all my hard work. I felt proud of myself. The problem now is this: I'll be taking the kids to Butlins for 4 days, exactly 3 weeks from today. I have been thinking hard about what to do and i decided that I would eat but not binge and look for healthy options too. I don't want this to be a quick fix. I want it to fit into my life. So I will do my best to get back on plan as soon as I get back. I know it will set me back, but, hey... I don't want to look back on it and feel sad that I couldn't join the kids in enjoying a meal together. This has given me the incentive to stick to it for the next 3 weeks.
Sorry to hear you feel so awful after falling off. Are you going to try going down to SS+ again? Don't beat yourself up. I started reading your diary too. Enjoying it. I'm impatient so I'm reading it kinda backwards, from the end to the beginning and occasionally in the middle lol.
So, get back on track and lets do this!! x