Lack of confidence/self esteem

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by km1980, 26 August 2009 Social URL.

  1. km1980

    km1980 Member

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    Hi all!!

    Just wondered if anyone is/has experienced this...

    I have lost 5 stone now, and even though I am so proud of myself of doing so, I still have absolutely no confidence/self esteem at all which I thought may have increased with the weight loss.

    I guess I was just wanting the magic wand to give me lots of self confidence to go out and starting dating men again now I've lost the weight! ;)

    Kathleen
     
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  3. Jezebella

    Jezebella Playing the Angel

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    Dating is a big scary pond hun! I feel exactly the same. And am still very nervous about dipping my toes in that pond. But I am going to force myself to try again. I think I will focus on going to things like salsa classes or something where you meet people with no pressure, the one on one thing can come later, I just need to get my confidence back around men again, which is funny because I have loads of male friends who I have no problems with at all, but friends are totally different to romantic interests. I am also putting an order into the Universe, for the kind of man I am looking for, a huge long list if you will of all the qualities I am looking for, hopefully he will be easier to spot when he comes along. One thing I have realised though is I will not accept second best on the man front again. I am putting a price on myself as my granny used to say! Perhaps try the Paul McKenna confidence book and CD, I found it really helpful, also give yourself lots of positive strokes, to build yourself up. Good luck hun, let me know how it goes and I will keep you in the loop too!

    Jez
    xx
     
  4. km1980

    km1980 Member

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    Thanks Jez, glad I'm not alone! :D I think I also need to start just meeting new people as I only have a handful of friends of which none are male!

    Hope your cosmic order is granted very soon! :)
     
  5. Jezebella

    Jezebella Playing the Angel

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    Hey hun, I see you are in Kent, where abouts? I am in London so not too far away, would you like to perhaps go speed dating together or something? safety in numbers and all that?

    Jez
    xx
     
  6. km1980

    km1980 Member

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    Will send you a PM Jez! :D

    Can't seem to send PM's - I'm in Sidcup, Kent
     
  7. Jezebella

    Jezebella Playing the Angel

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    Not far away from me at all :) I will try and pm you with an email address and we can take it from there. I will have to wait a few weeks though, because I am still in abstinence for the next 2 or 3 :)

    Jez
    xx
     
  8. km1980

    km1980 Member

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    How fab! :D

    That's fine, I'm still going to be in abstinence for 2 weeks aswell.

    Hear from you soon! :D

    Kathleen
     
  9. Jezebella

    Jezebella Playing the Angel

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    Hey hun, have sent you an email via this site, hope you get it, it has my email address etc

    Jez
    xx
     
  10. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    Have you noticed .....................

    that suddenly you are no longer invisible to men who don't know you?
    They open doors, speak to you in shops etc, offer help at the rubbish tip (good place to meet men!), stop to let you cross the road, let your car go first etc etc.
    I thought all those things had stopped
    because I was older, bit no, it was because I was fat.
    Part of me is flattered by the attention and part of me is cross because men are so shallow!
    You'll find someone who deserves you, but don't forget - we give off desperation vibes when we are on the look out and they run a mile.
    Happy hunting xxx
     
  11. Jezebella

    Jezebella Playing the Angel

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    This is why now I am taking a no pressure approach, I just want to get out an finally have some fun and not take it all too seriously. Previously I have felt desperate, and actually had a fair few indiscretions with men, just to "prove" I could still get someone. No more for me. They cancome and get me in all my new gorgeousness now and make all the running. It is funny you mention the opening of doors etc, someone did that for me the other day, I was quite suprised. I am also noticing that I don't keep my head down in public anymore, and if I notice a bloke giving me the once over, even if he is not my type, I absolutely give him a smile in return. Like with my food choices, I want to learn to make good men choices!!!

    Jez
    xx
     
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