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Last Chance Diary

I tried posting before, but it seems to have got lost - annoying! I am not feeling quite as energised to write today. Anyway, I'm writing this to make sure I am focused and accountable, and because reading other peoples diaries is so encouraging.

Overall I am happy, successful, have a lovely boyfriend, great home, exceptional friends - but in 3 years, I've put on 3 stone. There are reasons for this that I can track - despite life being good right now, there have been some tough heartbreaks - 3 to be precise, so I guess thats 1 stone for each of them. That's over a pound a month, which given I can gain 5 pounds overnight, is actually probably quite good! And while I'm not exactly fat, I'm also not living life to the full, and enjoying my body, and being alive in the way I would like to. I have a wardrobe of clothes that I love and don't fit, and I live on a beach, which I feel self conscious on in summer. In many ways I'm very lucky, but food has always been my drug of choice. I'm just tired of it. I know how I should eat, but I always go off track. I would like to drop 3 stone by the end of May. And I am GOING to drop 3 stone by the end of May. So here goes!
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Today I am wondering why do supposed "best friends" try to sabotage you? I don't understand why what I eat or don't eat affects other people? Supposed to be having friends round this Saturday, and have explained I'll just be having a shake, but still really looking forward to seeing them - this one friend has had a total stroppy meltdown about it, with sulky emails and *****y comments. I will still be there, talk, give her attention and care about her, but because I won't eat what she eats, she's acting like I'm a bad friend?! People are weird...
I think the bars make me hungry?! I tried having with lots of water, but just not filling in same way as shakes...so I had another one...and 2 sausages...and I want more.... Errrghhh. Might go to bed really early to avoid food.
I made it through a girls night, faced with pizza, garlic bread, crisps, chips, wine, and chocolate!!! I didn't crack, drank slimline tonic and focused on the conversation. Feel great today, and a tiny bit smug!
Ca't beleive I an 2 pounds away from first 10 pounds down!!! And it's been overall, pretty easy!! Going to go for a run now to try and get to -10 faster. If I can be below 11 stone for my birthday, that wil be the best present ever!

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