laurenmay
Gold Member
Even though I've literally been ALL over the minimins boards and a lot of you already know me and the story that accompanies -- some don't, and I want to properly introduce myself before I start writing a diary...
The name's Lauren obviously, I'm due to turn 22 in just over two weeks time, and I'm OBESE! I'm a mother to a gorgeous 1 year old little boy, who is an absolute terror, and work full time at Ford Motor Company...
In the past I've always been relatively slim, fluctuating between 9.7 stone to 10.7 stone and a size 8-10.. I'm not naturally small built, I don't have fabulous skinny genes like some people do, and my parents and sister have always had to watch what they eat in order to stay slim as well as I have.
When I had my son back in July 2011, I gained 5 stone during the pregnancy going from 9.7 stone to 14.7 stone.. But within four months of his birth I managed to lose all the weight and drop down to 9.10 stone through vigorous exercise and a low calorie diet. This I maintained for a little while, but then Christmas came, and went, and when it went it seemed to take all my determination and willpower with it..
It seems I've been on a constant binge since December, eating anything & everything in massive quantities, ditching gym workouts to sleep instead and basically just been plain lazy. And due to my behaviour I've gained nearly 5 stone, now weighing about 14.8 stone and fitting in size 16-18 clothes.
I've never been so miserable, depressed, ashamed of myself and just unhappy. I hate going outside of the house for fear of people seeing me and how big I've become, I hate going to work because my work uniform pinches and reveals every roll of fat and every bulge -- in fact I went back to work this morning after a 3 week break, and my size 14 work trousers no longer fitted and I ripped them while trying to force them on, so I've had to go out and purchase a size 18 pair instead.. I hide away in pyjamas in the house and refuse to let my OH give me a cuddle most of the time for fear of him feeling the rolls on my back and stomach that have never been there before.
To go from wearing a size 8 to a size 18 in seven months is highly depressing, and I think I'm still in denial really about how drastically I've gained weight.
I've tried many diets since January, but in all fairness I haven't really "tried".. I've promised I'll start a diet, gave up after 2 or 3 days, found another new diet I want to try, had a one last binge night before starting, then the cycle repeats itself over and over again & it's been the same pattern for now seven to eight months..
I've tried Cambridge, slim and save, WW, SW, JUDDD and calorie counting.. Admittedly I'd love to have the strength to follow a plan like Cambridge, lose the weight as quick as possible and then follow the steps to refeed and maintain -- but it's too expensive for me to follow for long, and I can't justify paying £40+ a week on meal replacement products when I'm already paying £60+ a week on food shopping for myself, OH and my LO.
So that's why I've finally decided that I'll be calorie counting my way to goal, following a plan of 1200 calories a day, using MFP to track my food and exercise and working out at the gym at least 3 times a week. When I can't hit the gym I've promised myself I'll do my 30 day shred DVD or take the LO out for a long walk, as long as I'm doing SOMETHING.
I know this weight won't magically disappear overnight, and there's no quick fix miracle treatment to melt the fat away. I know it's gonna be tough, hard work and take a LOT of strength and determination.. But after now tackling my issues with food mentally, getting into the right mind set and having the little shocks that upset me, like having to buy bigger clothes as I did today -- I'm finally ready.
So here's to a happier and healthier me, and a positive future. No more excuses, looking back and dwelling on the past or giving up -- it's now or never!
The name's Lauren obviously, I'm due to turn 22 in just over two weeks time, and I'm OBESE! I'm a mother to a gorgeous 1 year old little boy, who is an absolute terror, and work full time at Ford Motor Company...
In the past I've always been relatively slim, fluctuating between 9.7 stone to 10.7 stone and a size 8-10.. I'm not naturally small built, I don't have fabulous skinny genes like some people do, and my parents and sister have always had to watch what they eat in order to stay slim as well as I have.
When I had my son back in July 2011, I gained 5 stone during the pregnancy going from 9.7 stone to 14.7 stone.. But within four months of his birth I managed to lose all the weight and drop down to 9.10 stone through vigorous exercise and a low calorie diet. This I maintained for a little while, but then Christmas came, and went, and when it went it seemed to take all my determination and willpower with it..
It seems I've been on a constant binge since December, eating anything & everything in massive quantities, ditching gym workouts to sleep instead and basically just been plain lazy. And due to my behaviour I've gained nearly 5 stone, now weighing about 14.8 stone and fitting in size 16-18 clothes.
I've never been so miserable, depressed, ashamed of myself and just unhappy. I hate going outside of the house for fear of people seeing me and how big I've become, I hate going to work because my work uniform pinches and reveals every roll of fat and every bulge -- in fact I went back to work this morning after a 3 week break, and my size 14 work trousers no longer fitted and I ripped them while trying to force them on, so I've had to go out and purchase a size 18 pair instead.. I hide away in pyjamas in the house and refuse to let my OH give me a cuddle most of the time for fear of him feeling the rolls on my back and stomach that have never been there before.
To go from wearing a size 8 to a size 18 in seven months is highly depressing, and I think I'm still in denial really about how drastically I've gained weight.
I've tried many diets since January, but in all fairness I haven't really "tried".. I've promised I'll start a diet, gave up after 2 or 3 days, found another new diet I want to try, had a one last binge night before starting, then the cycle repeats itself over and over again & it's been the same pattern for now seven to eight months..
I've tried Cambridge, slim and save, WW, SW, JUDDD and calorie counting.. Admittedly I'd love to have the strength to follow a plan like Cambridge, lose the weight as quick as possible and then follow the steps to refeed and maintain -- but it's too expensive for me to follow for long, and I can't justify paying £40+ a week on meal replacement products when I'm already paying £60+ a week on food shopping for myself, OH and my LO.
So that's why I've finally decided that I'll be calorie counting my way to goal, following a plan of 1200 calories a day, using MFP to track my food and exercise and working out at the gym at least 3 times a week. When I can't hit the gym I've promised myself I'll do my 30 day shred DVD or take the LO out for a long walk, as long as I'm doing SOMETHING.
I know this weight won't magically disappear overnight, and there's no quick fix miracle treatment to melt the fat away. I know it's gonna be tough, hard work and take a LOT of strength and determination.. But after now tackling my issues with food mentally, getting into the right mind set and having the little shocks that upset me, like having to buy bigger clothes as I did today -- I'm finally ready.
So here's to a happier and healthier me, and a positive future. No more excuses, looking back and dwelling on the past or giving up -- it's now or never!
