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LL: very difficult staying abstinent, will I keep the weight off?

Hi all, I have read some very inspirational stories on here and it has inspired me. I have been on LL for 7 weeks now. I followed it to the letter for 4 weeks but have lapsed every 2-5 days ever since ( I am now in week 7) I really want to do this but am struggling to manage my stress without food.

I am a Mum of a boy (10) with behavioural problems from a previous marriage plus a new baby girl with my current husband. I am married but things have been quite bumpy although have improved since I have lost a stone and a half! i work and go to college part time.

So you see I have a very busy and I think stressful life, lack of sleep and time. Not that I want sympathy but I dont have any other coping skills except eat something. I am worried that becauses of my lapses I will not be able to stick to the rest of the programme but the thing that scares me most is that I will not be able to keep the weight off. That terrifies me.

Is it possible to do the programme after a lapse and also to do management and keep it off or should I start from day 1 again?
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Silver Member
S: 17st2lb C: 11st10lb G: 10st5lb BMI: 27.3 Loss: 5st6lb(31.67%)
There are lots of people who lapse (in fact, my secret theory about LL is that they actually suspect that we might lapse a little, but you have to aim high to get results - can you imagine how much we'd mess about if they told us they expect us to?!) but there are lots of people who don't lapse - you can make LL as hard or as simple as you want to.

Every person doing LL has their own story and demons and stresses - those of us in couples face the challenge of having an other half eating around us and asking us when we're going to be done with the crazy diet (and being tooooo helpful sometimes ;) ), those of us who are single might not have anyone to give an earbashing to - some of us have children, some of us work crazy hours - everyone's got some sort of stress they're hiding from - the beauty (and curse) of abstinence is that you have time and space to think about what you want and what other ways you can destress and unwind that aren't food. I developed a moisturising habit and went mad for cheap cut flowers! When I went into management, I went MAD thinking that I hadn't got anywhere - all I can say is that you need to care for yourself and be obsessive about caring for yourself and you need to learn Lighter Life's key lesson, self respect - unless you respect and care for yourself, you aren;t going to be giving the bes of yourself to the people you care for. If yu follow that principle and keep going, you will keep the weight off.

i speak as someone who was a model LLer very close to 6 months - then management sent me mad and I have put on 20lbs from my lightest weight - and wow it can creep on very quickly, I can tell you, the last 20lbs went back on in about 6 weeks and it took me about 10 weeks to lose them on the way down (isn't weight evil!) - but you do learn tools andtricks that will help you stop and correct your actions - you can survive a lapse - a lapse doesn;t need to become a relapse.

The sad fact is that a lot of people do put the weight back on, but on a happier note, rarely all of it. There is a theory that some of us have to go round the revolving door a bit before we get out into the slim world :) I think that's very true!

Don't worry about going back to day 1 (I assume you weigh less than you did on Day 1!) as soon as you manage 3-4 days of abstinence in a row, you are where you need to be - so keep going!


Gold Member
S: 13st3.0lb C: 11st5.0lb G: 10st7.0lb BMI: 27.3 Loss: 1st12lb(14.05%)
Good Luck cc28, Minimins is the place to come if you wobble or need a rant, someone will always have time for you.

Good luck. Don't beat yourself up about lapsing! Everyone's life is totally different and everyone has their own reasons for whatever difficulties they're experiencing. The only common thing is that with lots of support from minimins, it'll be easier!

Imagine you're climbing a wall, and every day you climb higher and higher. When you lapse, you fall back down a bit. So if you're close to breaking abstinence, JUST CLING ON TO THAT WALL FOR DEAR LIFE. You totally have the control to stay on! If you do lapse, just consider what you can do to prevent that situation in the future and get climbing that wall again!

Good luck. 4 weeks is amazing, so you know you can do it!



Hi cc28

I have found myself a few quotes on re-looking at what you might thins is a failure and you can have this one for free!!

"I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed; and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I can fail and keep on trying" - TOM HOPKINS

I am in week 6 of LL and have struggled with abstinence from the start. This week I had a word with myself and decided to have a "week 1 in my head time". I have maintained abstinence since Monday and I am taking a day at a time not thinking of next week's WI. On another post I read: just think how you will feel on Christmas Day if you give in now - possibly full of regret and anger about not proceeding. That post helped me put things in to context and really get focused. I can't tell you that I will maintain abstinence until day 100 but I can confirm that I will do everything to maintain it until tomorrow. Get your savoury drinks or some Marigold Bouillon(green) - that helps fight hunger urges and glug for England(or whoever!).

Daisydee x
PS Luvin your posts Cerulean - you always come up with some good stuff!

Thanks sun, jczelyph and daisydee. Very encouraging. I am just worried I will be one of the 95% that put the weight back on and that is my worst nightmare. But I think yes starting afresh on day 1 (in my mind) again is a good step.
Focus on how painful it was to be that size, now focus on how you feel with the weight off!

Keep telling yourself (when a fear of putting weight back on pops into your head), it's too much pain to live that way....visualize yourself at peace, calm at your new weight!

I believe in you!!
Thanks for your post- really inspired me. I did feel so down when I was bigger so that visualisation works!

Whatever we focus on, we shall attract - keep all the pleasure feelings with you....for me, I'm creating the feelings I will have at my goal (lifetime) weight...I believe I am already maintaining at it now!

I also use a sweep technique when negative thoughts enter my mind: negative thought comes in, visualize you getting it out of your mind and instead, place a positive thought in....this really works too!

I'm very proud of you - keep up the great work!

love and Huggggs*:hug99::hug99::hug99::hug99::hug99:
Hi I will try this. Is this something you learned from your faith or a book? If so please direct me to that book or group? I am trying to make a lot of positive changes in my life at present. Through LL I am realising how much of my past thinking was negative and that was how I used to feel most of the time too.
Hi I will try this. Is this something you learned from your faith or a book? If so please direct me to that book or group? I am trying to make a lot of positive changes in my life at present. Through LL I am realising how much of my past thinking was negative and that was how I used to feel most of the time too.
Hi honey!

I'm on Anthony Robbins program - NLP - it's not about motivation, but changing thoughts and negative behaviors using pain and pleasure techniques (for example), swish, freeze frame....WORKS FOR A LIFETIME!

A good book: Awaken the giant within and unlimited power - both by AR

Guarantees results!

love to you sweetie!;)
thnx. p.s lovely picture in your signature

You're most welcome honey! I love the pic too!

many hugggs* and much kindness to you, precious cc28


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