BlackRose
Gold Member
I'm only restarting today. I drifted away from minimins because I broke - and I can't even remember what I ate or why I felt so low that I felt I had to eat -I actually can't remember how this slipery slope began! Which is truly saying something because if, whatever it was, was so bad then surely I'd remember it now. It was obviously just my mind, my emotions my hormones -whatever, playing tricks on me I WAS NOT HUNGRY! I WAS NOT BORED!
I think I've been eating for about ten days now. Tho when I say 'eating' I mean I've been one day LT next day broke -one day LT, next day food -ya get the pattern.So for the past ten days or so I've been in spiral beating myself up because it must just be me. I'm just too weak willed. I'm just too greedy.
But I have decided not to accept that. I wasn't going to come clean here because ppl kept saying how I encourage others and am always cheery -but thats only because I LOVE minimins, I love all my fellow Lt'ers. And when I'm here I feel I can truly do this. And I truly believe in everyone on this forum. I didn't want to bring ppl down or disappoint.
But thats counter productive and it means I wont get from the forum what I've become used to. If i lose this forum as an outlet and support network I will actually feel bereft -melodramtic but true.
So I'm coming clean. I will not accept that I am too weak and too greedy because I know I have it in me to do this. I just know it. I will not cheat myself out of losing this weight -FOR ME!- and I will not give up my minimins out of shame. One day I will post a thread amazed at how i've gone for weeks without eating or cheating and feeling thoroughly pleased with my weight loss.
The good thing is I dont think I've gained more than a couple of pounds so its not like I'm back at the beginning.
I can accept that I'm human and will make mistakes and I feel ready to break the one day off one day on cycle. I'm sorry for being bad -and absent -but yiz better get used to BlackRose being around again -I am back and I'm doing it this time -you just watch me go!
I think I've been eating for about ten days now. Tho when I say 'eating' I mean I've been one day LT next day broke -one day LT, next day food -ya get the pattern.So for the past ten days or so I've been in spiral beating myself up because it must just be me. I'm just too weak willed. I'm just too greedy.
But I have decided not to accept that. I wasn't going to come clean here because ppl kept saying how I encourage others and am always cheery -but thats only because I LOVE minimins, I love all my fellow Lt'ers. And when I'm here I feel I can truly do this. And I truly believe in everyone on this forum. I didn't want to bring ppl down or disappoint.
But thats counter productive and it means I wont get from the forum what I've become used to. If i lose this forum as an outlet and support network I will actually feel bereft -melodramtic but true.
So I'm coming clean. I will not accept that I am too weak and too greedy because I know I have it in me to do this. I just know it. I will not cheat myself out of losing this weight -FOR ME!- and I will not give up my minimins out of shame. One day I will post a thread amazed at how i've gone for weeks without eating or cheating and feeling thoroughly pleased with my weight loss.
The good thing is I dont think I've gained more than a couple of pounds so its not like I'm back at the beginning.
I can accept that I'm human and will make mistakes and I feel ready to break the one day off one day on cycle. I'm sorry for being bad -and absent -but yiz better get used to BlackRose being around again -I am back and I'm doing it this time -you just watch me go!