Lost

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by JaymeH, 19 September 2011 Social URL.

  1. JaymeH

    JaymeH New Member

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    Hi all,

    So I've been doing slimming world since January and I've lost 5 1/2 st. It's been great and definately easier then I ever thought it'd be.

    Has anyone else felt a bit 'lost' since losing weight? I think it's the comments I'm receiving, not just compliments but almost insults too, such as, 'you were really big before', 'wow, where have you gone', 'don't look at that cake', I could go on.. Lol. I guess I just find it hard when people say things like this to me. Yes I am embarrassed by how I used to look and yes I did something about it. I don't need to be reminded of how unhappy I was.

    So yes, I've just wondered if anyone's had a similar experience.

    I'm sorry if I've posted this in the 'wrong bit' it's my first post.

    Thank You

    Jayme :)
     
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  3. xMandyDx

    xMandyDx Determination is Key

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    That's extremely rude, and I would tell them so.
    Would they say the same to someone who'd put ON a lot of weight? I don't think so.

    Rather than telling you how bad you used to look, they could tell you how good you look now!
     
  4. JaymeH

    JaymeH New Member

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    I agree - it is extremely rude. I guess I've just found the attention quite hard, whether it be good or bad. It's kind of like having to find yourself again. Weird kind of feeling. I'm not sure if I'm making sense here. Lol. x
     
  5. xMandyDx

    xMandyDx Determination is Key

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    Well you are a new person. You're not going to be as self-conscious, and you're going to want to try new things. You need to find out who the new slim you is!
    But people making remarks like that is not helpful.
     
  6. Funky_Munky

    Funky_Munky Put the kettle on

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    I think in some peoples minds it is a compliment!! Youve done exceptionally well so just ignore anyone who doesnt have anything nice to say. Or start making the same remarks to them, soon shuts them up!!!
     
  7. wenchie

    wenchie Silver Member

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    How unpleasant of them! It sounds possibly as if they're unhappy with something in their own lives, so they need to "put you in your place" kind of thing? There's usually a reason for people to be so rude and it's usually absolutely nothing to do with you and all to do with themselves.

    Do the positive comments make you feel as strange as the rude ones? I think they can, especially if you've been a bit primed to not think that people can say nice things to you (if that makes sense?) - accepting compliments can be a bit difficult anyway.

    Has your own head caught up with your actual current body? I know my body image and actual body aren't quite the same thing at the moment, certainly not all the time (although they weren't at my fattest, either, tbh, or I'd've done something about my weight sooner). I've found photos helpful with that, I can appraise how I look slowly, in my own time, and get my head in a realistic place (my default at the moment is to say thank you, to anything anyone should say, and just leave it at that. It's appropriate for compliments and if someone's been rude I can rest easy knowing I've been the better person there). Your achievement's brilliant, congratulations :D
     
  8. Shirleen

    Shirleen Gold Member

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    Accept every comment as if a compliment, say "thankyou, I do look and feel better now. It's so kind of you to mention it" the first time you will feel like an idiot but it works!
     
  9. Mizkirsty

    Mizkirsty Gold Member

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    I felt exactly the same used to wear my over sized clothes to void people noticing my losses - and I used to shrug off compliments bc I was embarrassed about people noticing my weight full stop!

    I said this to my dr and she pointed out - I've worked really hard to loose weight so should enjoy peoples compliments as I have worked hard to feel better and look better and this is positive reinforcement I'm achieving that!!

    And I just ignore the supposedly conpliments that are actually insults - I think it's jealousy they want to make us feel crap bc they wish they could do the same!

    I had it this weekend ! Omg your stomach gone down it used to be huge and stick out! Your ass is half the size it used to be etc etc!

    I choose to accept that they are simply jealous and just can't bring themselves to say I look good! Xx
     
  10. JaymeH

    JaymeH New Member

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    Thank You for all your comments. Wenchie - I think it does have a lot to do with my head not catching up with my body. When I hit the 5st, I was quite emotional about it all. I think I need to get used to just accepting the compliments and ignoring the insults.. Thank You.

    MizKirsty - I agree. Thank You! It's very true, a lot of people can't just give compliments. I'm doing this for me, not for anyone else!
     
  11. xMandyDx

    xMandyDx Determination is Key

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    Glad you're feeling better now! You need to wrap your head around your new self, and at the same time you don't yet feel comfortable with it. It'll take time. Shake off the veiled insults, and just keep doing what you're doing.
    Total congrats on winning the battle of the bulge, by the way!!! I'll get there yet!
     
  12. bilsat

    bilsat Really likes to cook

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    On Friday my wife and myself went to "Aquatone" and the instructor said to my wife that it was a pity that her husband hadn't come to keep the "new" man company, she couldn't believe it was me and how much weight I had lost!
    So ignore any negative comments and feel good about yourself, I find that those who could do with slimming are the most critical.
     
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