Low self-esteem Fatty to slim Confident women ( i hope)

[Yolande]

So im finally starting a diary 3 weeks into my CD journey. Just had my 3rd WI and lost another 5lb so thats me 18lbs lighter than when i started!! Im 26 grew up in South Africa. I have struggled with my weight since my teens got bullied for being fat in high school when i was only a couple pounds heavier than other girls..met my first long term boyfriend moved to the UK with him at 17 as i could not handle the bullying anymore, he didnt like any other men looking at me he kind of controlled me i couldnt make friends felt lonely and started to find comfort in food i fell pregnant then found out my boyfriend had been cheating and 5 months in my pregnancy lost my baby it was the lowest point of my life with no friends around thanks to the bf i again found comfort in food and lost all my confidence. I moved away from him made amazing friends travelled the world but my addiction to getting comfort from food had got out of control leading me to expand to a whopping 20stone!!I am so unhappy with my weight but always having to be the bubbly girl so no one would see my pain thats when i thought NO i will not be this person anymore had a friend who got amazing results on CD she took me to her CDC and i started 3 weeks ago.. The first week was hell for me (i work at a caff so temptation ALL DAY LONG) but i am determined to tackle the biggest bully of my life FOOD!! I have had no cheating despite working with a spitefull girl who keeps putting me down and teasing me with food and another guy at work who says im starving myself and will pick it all up again!! This forum has been a life line to me these last 3 weeks with out all these remarkable people who know how it feels i could not have done it so i hope i will be able to motivate and spur others on their journey...

Sorry for rambling on but thats me in a nutshell and i still have a very long way to go but i say BRING IT ON.....

 

[chunkystreet]

I know what it's like to lack self esteem, but you sound like such a strong person, with what you've been though as well as resisting the annoyance at work! You are doing amazing.

Those people at work sound horrible, but I think we all have one or two of those around us at times. But you are doing so well, I am sure you'll continue and wont put it back on!

Keep up the good work. I've just finished week one so your weight loss is a great inspiration to me xx

 

[ayshaahmad]

You are doing great and those people at work will be eating there words when they see you shrinking before there eyes!! Keep at it u have had some fab losses well done you must have amazing will power to do this diet and work in a cafe!! Look forward to seeing your losses x

 

[Miss H]

well done for starting a diary, dont let others put u down for actually taking control of ur weight!!

sounds like uv had an emotional time, loosing a baby is awful, my sister lost one at 7 months last year n is still not over it, i hope u got the support u needed.

ur losses are very good, n u are obviously settled into it all, keep going and u will get there!!

 

[Yolande]

Thank you all so much!!! This is why i love this forum the support and motivation is just what i need! I am settled into it now still have the odd day that is harder than others but i distract myself by thinking of how happy i will be when i reach my goal and maintain it.

 

[infiniteandserene]

Good luck, time to prove those people wrong xxxx

 

[danii3]

Just by reading your post your a very strong person and very motivated to prove people wrong! I admire you for all what you've been through and now comming out the other side so positive!

You can do this x

 

[Yolande]

Today that nasty women at work asked if i changed my foundation i said no then she kept telling me i look so pale and basically saying i look ill!!! The cheek of her i feel wonderfull besides feeling really really cold no matter what i do but thats normal with SS. You know i hope she carries on putting me down because everytime she does it motivates me that little bit more!!! She lost loads of weight by living off soup and its like she does not want me to succeed in this but i will show her!!
My trousers are getting looser now and its making me feel very happy. I can notice a difference in my face already too and so can other people i love getting compliments like that =D

 

[Miss H]

well done for ur attitude towards her comment, its jealousy!!! i think i look paler, but i am always freezing lol so that doesnt help!!
brilliant people r noticing, i cant c a difference in me yet but the boyf looks different already!! in the face n gut.

chin up n show them ur determination!!

 

[Yolande]

I just dont understand what pleasure she gets out of putting me down i suppose i dont care really cos im doing this diet for me =) My chin is up high and soon i wont have 2 chins to hold high LOL I have only this week noticed in my face bum and thighs but my belly looks as big as ever i carry most of my weight there i think.

 

[Miss H]

i dnt feel iv lost any n my belly still feels big but i have and it will show in time, iv lots to go so it wont dissapear overnight i guess!!

u will prove them wrong n look amazing, nothing will feel better when u can have a smug look on ur face whilst holding ur head and one chin high lol

 

[ayshaahmad]

Just ignore her hun its pure jelousy, you carry on just as u are your doing great!!!

 

[Yolande]

Thanks you guys I am already liking myself a little more cos im feeling very proud of me

 

[BlueGem]

Yolande, you are doing brilliantly and whoever puts you down is just jealous. Jealous of what you have achieved so far, jealous of your determination and jealous of your willpower - they simply know that they couldn't do it.

Hold your head up high and continue to take each day as it comes. Seems that life has dealt you a pretty rough hand so far. This journey may well be a breeze compared to some of the stuff you've been through.

Good luck with it all - will keep an eye out for your updates!

 

[ayshaahmad]

Thanks you guys I am already liking myself a little more cos im feeling very proud of me

And so you should be x

 

[ClaireCat]

Hi! I work with people who are a bit like that, but they just motivate me that little bit more

Also, i can sympathise with the coldness, I've been freezing all day! You're clearly doing very well, especially working around all that food!

 

[Yolande]

Thank you my CDC was bigger than me and she is now a size 10 maintained for 16 months and she told me she doesnt know how i do it with where i work i just told her that my head and heart is very much in it, but like you those people actually motivate me more. The worst part for me is being so cold but its a small price to pay for a happy healthy future.

 

[spangles]

Yolande - what a warm, open, perceptive first post. You have the strength to do this: after everything else you've done, this is perfectly doable for you.

 

[RachaelJade]

Wow yolande your doing brilliantly!! And yay for your attitude towards that girl at work!! Keep it up!! Your great motivation for me and many others x

 

[Yolande]

Thanks so much ladies

So today i thought i would try some pilates and 10 minutes in i got a terrible head ache i guess its not such a good idea while im on SS?? Im just so worried that if i dont tone il end up with alot of saggy skin. I do walk to and from work (atleast 20 min each way) and i live on a hill so maybe thats enough exercise for now until i start stepping up. Il just stick to lots of water and my palmers lotions and hope for the best regarding loose skin