MEN!!! cant live with 'em... you know the rest!

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by Scarlett, 12 February 2008 Social URL.

  1. Scarlett

    Scarlett Full Member

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    Well I knew DH husband was not best pleased this morning, slamming doors and generally grumping around the house on his way to work , when he barked (viciously)

    "you want to know whats annoying me? YOU! You are getting bigger! After all your hard work last year on CD you are getting bigger!"

    As you can imagine his words hurt so much but to put this in context, DH does not usually criticise my weight or comment (although I know in my heart he prefers the slimmer me) this is mainly due to how I behave, dress, laugh, am more confident, sociable etc when slimmer. So here I am AGAIN... the worst of it is he's annoyed!! I'm annoyed enough with myself for the weight gain!!! Its my body!!

    Oh well got 2 weeks supply of tetras and an apointment with my lovely CD counsellor in a fortnight.

    MEN! with my hubby there can be no subtle words or advice! To him its black or white!

    Or slim or "big" in this case!

    Wish me luck girls, round 2 here I come...

    S x
     
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  3. poohbearmufc

    poohbearmufc Longing 2 b a yummy mummy

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    My Dh and yours must be the same... he gets stroppy too. He normally says he loves me the way I am, but he knows I'm not happy... so he says exactly the same thing...

    Good luck hun, I have to get my mind and finances in place first!

    Love
     
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  4. FeelingFat

    FeelingFat Silver Member

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    :mad:Oh dear.

    Does he not realise that it is exactly words like that which will make us reach for chocolate etc. Men - as you say can't live with them ... you know the rest - :whoopass:(for hubby)
     
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  5. Mrs Depp

    Mrs Depp Gold Member

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    Aww bess him Scarlett! :D I know it might sound insensitive the way he spoke to you this morning, but that's just men isn't it? They don't know how to be sensitive like us!

    It sounds to me like he's sincere and was obviously worried for you too. As you said, you're more confident, outgoing, happier when you've lost weight (aren't we all?) and he seems to miss that side of you a lot. You're probably giving out signals that you're not happy with your weight gain and he's picked up on it. What a gem you have hun, give him a big hug when you see him later. :D:D
     
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  6. mummypower

    mummypower Just call me Anne x

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    :eek: I would have hit the roof, if my dh had taken that approach with me, you did well to bite your tongue!

    Do I take it your dh has never had a weight problem?
    People who have never been over weight have no idea how much comments like that hurt.

    I know he might have been saying it for your own good, but still, I think a little abstinence in the bedroom would be a just reward!:girlpower:
     
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  7. flirty40greeneyes

    flirty40greeneyes Busy busy busy!!

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    LOL :rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao:
     
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  8. Scarlett

    Scarlett Full Member

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    heheh the replies here have really brightened my mood this eventful morning!!!

    mummypower- no he has NEVER had a weight issue so it is hard for him to understand. If anything hes a bit underweight right now as had manflu and lost a stone! I had girlflu and gained 3 pounds glugging lucozade and comfort food!!

    Mrs Depp- your words really made me think. You're right he has noticed a difference in my behaviours. I wish he knew a less hurtful way to express it- but I guess we don't like hearing the news that we look bigger however its delivered do we?

    it reminded me of a male colleague I am really close to but haven't seen since last Summer, I bumped into on Saturday. He said "hows the diet going" eying my squishy bits!! so cheeky!!

    I giggled nervously and said "good! really good!" he said "really??" to which I replied" ok its going crap!!" and felt rubbish the rest of the day that my issues where externalised for the world to see and comment on!

    It is just MEN! my female friends know when to shut up- and will comment/give advice if I ask... but probably say more through their silence and non- comments if you know what I mean!
     
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  9. NoMorePies

    NoMorePies Full Member

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    Hi,

    I really believe that you will only succeed on this if you are doing it for yourself. You'll easily fall off the wagon with thoughts of "I'm doing this for my husband, or the kids or even the dog !!".
     
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  10. Gemma1986

    Gemma1986 Im just me!

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    Bloody men they no what to say to make us upset dont they,i could really kill them sometimes!! I wished my bf was like that but he says i love you how u r!!
     
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  11. flirty40greeneyes

    flirty40greeneyes Busy busy busy!!

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    Let's be honest they can't win whatever they say!!!

    Mine reminds me I'm meant to be dieting when I eat something I shouldn't :angeldevil:.... and I have a go at him and say "this is my diet!" He books a meal out for us ... and I say - "but I'm on a diet!!"
     
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  12. Scarlett

    Scarlett Full Member

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    HAHAHA!!

    I am exactly the same!

    but I really am on a diet now ;0) so no more fatty meals out.
     
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  13. Gemma1986

    Gemma1986 Im just me!

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    Im the same too,when he wants me to come off it i wont but when i do he says should you be having that!! All us women r they same aint we!!
     
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  14. flirty40greeneyes

    flirty40greeneyes Busy busy busy!!

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    Keeps them on their toes I say!!!! Would be awful if we were predictable!!!
     
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  15. Mrs Depp

    Mrs Depp Gold Member

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    You're right there Scarlett! Men can't be tactful at the best of times!:rolleyes: They either say too much (as with your hubby and your friend) or not enough and just mumble! With most blokes, everything is black or white, right or wrong, they don't want to waste time thinking about things that don't seem important enough. But, your hubby has obviously thought long and hard about how to approach you, (probably too long) and ended up getting frustrated with himself and that's why he's blurted it all out this morning? :D;)
     
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  16. Scarlett

    Scarlett Full Member

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    Hi Mrs Depp

    Yes.... he has been a bit pensive and thoughtful of late (HIGHLY UNUSUAL!!!) so I think he has been trying to let me know how he feels and then his natural grumpy morning mode brought things to a head this morning.

    The bottom line is though.... all moaning aside... i do want to be that slim happy person again- and i know CD is the best way for me to do it.

    So maybe his outburst is a good thing- as I know I'm not doing this diet for him, but his comments have acted as a catalyst to start what I've been trying to start since Xmas.

    SO THANKYOU!!! grumpy, shouty DH! all is forgiven (for now!)

    Scarlett
     
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  17. lollylou1

    lollylou1 Full Member

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    hi

    Men are useless as approaching and delicate subject but at last he is being honest with you. my husband always says he is happy the way i am but says he can tell im not happy the way i am so helps me do whatever i want to do. He has even joined me on CD and has almost got to his goal but he did that to support me and he said he wasnt ever going to have me being skinnier than him LOL
    typical
    Lolly
    xxx
     
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  18. misscheeky

    misscheeky Gold Member

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    best of luck scarlett
     
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  19. Mrs Depp

    Mrs Depp Gold Member

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    :D:D:D Maybe he'll learn to be a bit less grumpy and pensive and a bit more tactful eh Scarlett? I'm glad you've forgiven him-for now lol! :D:D Fellas sometimes can't seem to find the right words to express themselves and that's when they speak before thinking I suppose! :rolleyes::D
     
  20. Mrs Pink

    Mrs Pink Banned

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    Hear, hear!!:D

    Mrs Depp no way am I letting my DH see your comments - he's want to marry YOU instead!:eek:
    Far too nice and reasonable IMHO!:rolleyes:
     
  21. ninababes

    ninababes Gold Member

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    Hiya Scrlet big hugs hunny but best of luck on your weight loss journey, you've been successful once and you can do it again and you WILL do it!!!! xxx
     
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