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Meow^..^'s wittily-named diary

#1
Hi everybody,

I’ve been doing SW for about 4 weeks now, and after lurking around this forum for a bit, I’ve decided to start my own diary.

To start with, I’m going to paste in here what I wrote when I was asked in another thread about when I did I realise that I had to do something about my weight:
When did I first see? I’ve had a number of revealing moments over the years, I suppose. A lot of them are to do with seeing photos of myself from events where I thought I looked really nice and then realised that the nice hair and makeup wasn’t covering anything up! One of the things that upsets me the most and makes me the most determined are airplane seats. I can’t even describe the combination of frustration, anger, embarrassment, sadness, despair every time I can’t get the seat belt on or can’t put the tray down...

I’ve actually never been a normal weight. I was born premature and underweight, and within 2 months managed to reverse that and have been off all the charts since then. It has been literally decades of ‘I’m going to lose weight soon’. I think I managed to maintain my weight fairly well through the latter half of high school (I started doing martial arts), but was in a car accident and have a ‘bad ankle’ which is painful all the time. Everything just spun right out of control after that, and other than a couple of several-month periods when I’ve lost a little bit of weight, I’ve steadily been putting on weight since then.

Given that I have never been anything close to normal weight, I have a deeply seated (irrational?!) belief that it’s not possible for me to be normal. Like there is something defective about my body/metabolism that won’t let it happen. I’m giving it a go though.
I figure that’s a fairly apt description of my life so far, weight-wise at least. I think the reasons why the above-mentioned several-month periods of weight loss have never continued and I’ve always put the weight I lost back on and more is that other than the support of my partner, it’s always been me on my own. This time, I’ve joined SW with a friend from work (who is about a third of my size, but bless her anyway!), and I’ve been going to group consistently, apart from when I’ve been out of town. And I love the way that everyone here is so supportive! So this time, it’s ON, like Donkey Kong!
 
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#2
First day of diary

This is my first attempt at keeping a diary/blog. If anyone stumbles across and starts reading, please please let me know if you see me doing something wrong! :)

I'm looking forward to getting into this a bit more and keeping momentum. I hope that the diary will keep me to track.

Food
Breakfast:

Eggs and mushrooms

Lunch:
Cheese (HEX A) on toast (HEX B)
Batchelor’s Super Low Fat Noodles = 1 Syn

Dinner:
Chicken soup (home-made) with chicken, pasta and a few bits of carrot

Snacks:
Mullerlight yoghurt
Banana
Nectarine (2)
Small (25 g) bag of crisps = 6.5 Syns
Chocolate teacake (20 g) =~5 Syns

Exercise
45-min walk, light-moderate-ish
 
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#3
Thoughts from today: Don’t really have any... My friend from work whom I go to SW with said that my face looks slimmer, but I’m not sure. She might be ‘seeing’ it because she knows what I’m doing.
At my next weigh-in on Saturday, I’d like the ½ stone sticker. It would only mean 1 pound, which would be the smallest loss so far (other than whatever happened the week I was away for work), so I think it should be achievable.

Food
Breakfast:
Tesco natural muesli 28 g (HEXB) with ¼ cup sweetened soya milk (HEXA); banana; half a can of canned peaches (drained and rinsed)*

Lunch:
Home-made chicken soup with pasta and carrot

Dinner:
Home-made chicken soup with pasta and carrot; giant pile of microwaved string beans

Snacks:
Apples (2); Mullerlight yoghurt; bananas (2)

Exercise
Wii Fit (stepping while watching Big Bang Theory!) 20 min

*I’m not sure whether to Syn these or not, anyone have thoughts? I figure that if you’re allowed to deep-fry fish and take the batter off and it’ll be free, then my peaches should be OK. Plus I hardly ever have all of my Syns, so...?
 
#4
Food
Breakfast:
Tesco natural muesli 28 g (HEXB) with ¼ cup sweetened soya milk (HEXA); banana; half a can of canned peaches (drained and rinsed)*

Lunch:
Home-made chicken soup with pasta and chicken

Dinner:
Free spaghetti bolognaise (extra-lean mince, canned chopped tomatoes, red kidney beans, mushrooms, pasta) with some grated cheese (~21 g; HEXA*)

Snacks:

Apples (2); bananas (2)

Exercise
Wii Fit 20 min (stepping)

*When I had my ‘induction’ with SW, the consultant said that you can do half-and-half on different healthy extras – e.g., have half my milk and half a serving of cheese if I wanted. But, I’ve noticed people on the forum mentioning ‘tweaking’ like it’s a bad thing. Can anyone explain/clarify, please? I’m a little confused...!
 
#5
Food
Breakfast:

Tesco natural muesli 28 g (HEXB) with ¼ cup sweetened soya milk (HEXA); banana; half a can of canned peaches (drained and rinsed)*

Lunch:
Free spaghetti bolognaise (extra-lean mince, canned chopped tomatoes, red kidney beans, mushrooms, pasta)

Dinner:
Free spaghetti bolognaise (extra-lean mince, canned chopped tomatoes, red kidney beans, mushrooms, pasta) with some grated cheese (~21 g; HEXA*) and a giant pile of microwaved green beans

Snacks:
Apples (2); bananas (2); Mullerlight yoghurt; HiFi deluxe bar (6 Syns)
 
#6
Thoughts for today: Seems I must be getting my * very soon. The predictive website emailed earlier this week warning that it will start today and I was determined that it’s not going to affect my eating. Just in case, I got some of those Hi-Fi bars at the last meeting, so that if I was craving something sweet then I’d have something on hand that I knew wasn’t too bad Syns-wise and I would know exactly how many Syns were in it. I have wanted sweet things a bit more in the last couple of days but I’ve not gone off plan or anything. My mood, however… well that’s a totally different story, I seem to be incredibly irritable and it’s like I’m watching myself being unreasonable and I can’t stop it. Although who hasn’t been there before!

One thing that’s got me down this evening is reading them user comments on the BBC article about how ‘fat people need to be honest about how much they’re eating’. These things always upset me and I insist on reading them anyway. Seeing such animosity and disgust expressed about people like myself is just really… well… I can’t even describe it.

Well, moving right along…

Food
Breakfast (I had a day in lieu today, so it’s the ‘weekend breakfast’): Omelette (eggs, a heap of mushrooms, 28 g of cheddar [HEXA])

Lunch: Salad (lettuce, spring onion, eggs, tomatoes, pickle, crabsticks, 1 tbsp reduced honey and mustard dressing [1 Syn])

Dinner: baked chicken (minus skin) with potatoes and a giant pile of microwaved string beans, 1 tbsp sweet chilli sauce [1.5 Syns]

Snacks: 2 x Hi-Fi bars (the new ones that you’re allowed 2 of) [HEXB], 2 x bananas. 2 x plums

Oh yes, and I have a potentially challenging day tomorrow. My team at work is going out for lunch and then I have a couple of friends coming to my house in the evening for some chats. I’ve seen the menu for lunch, so that shouldn’t be too bad, I don’t think. The friends are coming over after having eaten dinner, and I’ve got loads of fruit (melons of various varieties) that I’m going to slice up to put out. Hubby is making some houmous for us as well, and I got the lowest-in-fat tortilla crisps I could find and will weigh myself out a serving and keep it separate. I think it will be OK, but I think it’s the day that will present the biggest barriers to staying on plan that I’ve had since starting SW (apart from the week I went away for work, of which I don’t speak!!) Fingers crossed.
 
#7
Yesterday (Friday) was a bit of a crap day. * hasn’t started yet, but I am feeling quite crazy. Spent the morning at work on the brink of tears, feeling quite stressed with how much I had to do and realising that I shouldn’t have had a day off on Thursday. The lunch menu got circulated and so I thought I was going to be able to make a good choice. I was going to write out the full story, but as I’m fairly certain that no one reads this, that’d be a waste of time. Long story short, I was really very unhappy because I ended up eating something not very healthy. I’m weighing in this morning, so I guess we’ll see how much I ****ed it up.

Food
Breakfast:
Tesco natural muesli 28 g (HEXB) with ¼ cup sweetened soya milk (HEXA); banana; half a can of canned peaches (drained and rinsed)

Lunch: Seared sea bass (about 5 grams! free), bowl of pub chunky fries (no idea how to Syn them, I’m going with a standard serving of fish and chip shop chips from the book for 20 Syns), mango sorbet (a couple of ounces at a guess, 3 Syns)

Dinner: baked chicken (minus skin) with potatoes and a giant pile of microwaved string beans

Snacks: 2 apples, 2 bananas, carrots with home-made houmous (it’d be a lot lower in fat that commercial houmous, but still some, no idea how many Syns, but it’d be something)

Exercise
Wii Fit 20 min (stepping)

I am really feeling the need to see a GP, but that would mean getting around to registering with one first. These PMS and other anxiety/depression symptoms are really starting to impact me a lot. Yes, it’s all very mild overall, I do know that other people have much worse, but I don’t like the person I am becoming. Contraception of some sort would (may?) help with the PMS and the crippling heavy periods, but would make me put on more weight. Antidepressants/anxiolytics would help with the PMS and other mood problems, but would make me put on more weight. And my weight is one of the things that I’m stressing about so much at the moment, thus getting so upset over lunch....

Feeling very lost and alone at the moment and not sure what to do.
 
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#8
Hi meow

I've just stumbled across your diary, so now someone is reading it! I think you should go to the doctors or maybe a health clinic to get some contraception. There are forms available that do not make you gain weight. My pill didn't make me gain. Also I know how you feel with the anxiety/depression I suffer from several forms of anxiety and have suffered from depression (still do from time to time). It does affect your everyday life and it's not always mind over matter sometimes it's a chemical imbalance that needs help. I had a mental breakdown through depression and anxiety so I urge you to get help before you go down that path, believe me it's not pretty.
I'll check back in as often as I can and offer you any support I can. Good luck with the weight loss journey! Remember someone will always be there to listen no matter how stupid it may seem just get it out!

Take care :)
 
#9
Thank you pixie, I've been feeling a lot better over the past couple of days, and have now even registered with a GP! I have one of those new patient appointments next week. They gave a little plastic container but didn't say what exactly I'm supposed to bring back in it!!

It's nice to know that someone's reading, thank you so much for posting :)
 
#10
After all the worrying a couple of days ago, I weighed in on Sat morning and was very pleasantly surprised to see that a whole 4 pounds had disappeared! I must be getting into the swing of things :) Got slimmer of the week again, and I felt like I deserved it a lot more than I did last week.

Although I am now on holidays from work until next Tues. Not going away anywhere, but will do some day trips around the area, which we haven't seen a great deal of. Will involve lots more walking than I'm used to, but it will be hard taking food with me for lunches etc. that doesn't involve lots of bread etc. These will be the first holidays that I've had since starting SW, and before, my default lunch for taking with me would have been a couple of sandwiches. I think I'm going to have to having something else for breakfast (other than cereal) and still have a sandwich for lunch, that will be my HEXB. Don't think I'll be getting slimmer of the week again, but that's not really the point. (And also * has finally started today, hopefully I will be able to enjoy my holidays still... :( )

I'm trying to keep to completing a food diary, but I seem to have forgotten to type it up over the last couple of days, and I'm not sure that I will have it in more for the rest of the week... we'll see!
 
#11
Woohoo well done on the 4lb loss! Have you thought about maybe doing ee days when you go on your day trips and maybe having a pasta salad to fill you up and stay on plan? Just an idea.

Good luck for the rest of the week! :)
 
#12
I do EE all the time, haven't even looked at/figured out the red/green plan deal!

I did think about taking a salad, but wondered if it might be a bit too much of a faff... I will think about doing it for a change later on this week.

Today was a trip to Wales, saw some great castles, but damn was it cold! The temperature on its own wasn't so bad but it was so incredibly windy! I thought I was going to get blown right off into the Irish Sea :)

Food
Breakfast:
Eggs, mushrooms

Lunch: Sandwich: 2 slices wheatgerm bread (~50g, HEXB), cheese (28g, HEXA), roasted pork, 1 tbsp sweet chilli sauce (1.5 Syns)

Dinner: microwaved potatoes, roasted pork

Snacks: 2x apples, 3 x boiled eggs, HiFi deluxe bar (6 syns)

Exercise
Lots of castling :)
 
#15
No site-seeing today, as hubby is poorly, so had a nice relaxing day at home. I restocked my painting supplies at the weekend, so finally had a chance to get them out and start doing something today. Man, I am really **** at it!!! Ah well, I do enjoy pushing the paint around.

Food
Breakfast: Fried eggs on wheatgerm bread (~50g, HEXB)

Lunch: Noodles (1 Syn?)

Dinner: Roasted chicken minus skin, potatoes, giant pile of string beans

Snacks: 2x bananas, 2x apples, spiced apple cake (~60g, 8 Syns)

Feeling very lazy today, no exercise :(
 
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#16
Hi there just came across your diary can't wait to follow your progress I too have had those pictures thought i looked good and have been shocked by my appearance I swear I didn't look like that! Anyway well done on your loss xx
 
#17
Hiya Meow - thought I'd also pop in to wish you luck and have a nosey :D

Don't mean to sound bossy - aiming for helpful, but you need to be making sure you're having that 1/3 superfree at every meal on EE - just looking back there's some meals where you've just had sandwiches or meat and potatoes and no veggies/fruit noted down. Even if you're having fruit inbetween meals you've got to have the superfree as part of the main meals too.

Mn I don't think I'd encourage the tinned fruit tweak either this early on in the plan, if it was okay to have them they wouldn't have a syn value in the first place :sigh:

Hope the above is taken as helpful advice rather than berating you - I know it's tricky getting to grips with sw in the beginning.

I'd seriously recommend giving red/green days a go when you're feeling more confident - have a look around at people's diaries for ideas, especially ones that say they do mostly red/all green - it'll give you an idea of how to cope with them :)

I do a mix of all plans depending on how I'm feeling (or if I'm doing an all-one-plan week challenge) so am happy to offer what advice I can :)

Well done on your losses so far and good luck for your next WI xx

Hope you have a lovely break aswell - I'm off for a quick jaunt to Wales myself next wednesday, might end up just shivering in the caravan for three days if it's peeing down the whole time but it's a change from home lol
 
#19
Hiya Meow - thought I'd also pop in to wish you luck and have a nosey :D
Yay, I do love visitors! I'm very pleased that people are coming to hang out - nice to meet you! :cool:

Don't mean to sound bossy - aiming for helpful, but you need to be making sure you're having that 1/3 superfree at every meal on EE - just looking back there's some meals where you've just had sandwiches or meat and potatoes and no veggies/fruit noted down. Even if you're having fruit inbetween meals you've got to have the superfree as part of the main meals too.

Mn I don't think I'd encourage the tinned fruit tweak either this early on in the plan, if it was okay to have them they wouldn't have a syn value in the first place :sigh:

Hope the above is taken as helpful advice rather than berating you - I know it's tricky getting to grips with sw in the beginning.
That is very helpful, thank you! It's not very bossy and is needed! I am not actually sure what the point of the food diaries I did in my first weeks was, like I didn't get any guidance on whether what I was doing was right or not, so I'm glad that people are looking at my diary here. The consultant that I had on my first day wasn't the normal that's at that group, but she said to me that as long as a third of my entire day's food was superfree it's not necessary for a third of each meal be superfree - so is that wrong? It's a bit of guestimating, but I sort of thought that with my snacks consisting of mainly fruit it was all working out.

It's actually a bit difficult with my food, my partner is out of work at the moment, so I have most of my meals prepared for me, which is very lovely, but it's quite hard to keep insisting on what I'm eating... ugh I'm having trouble explaining what I mean..!! Don't get me wrong, he's incredibly supportive about it all...

Thanks for your comments re the tinned fruit, there's a reason I asked! I have never had all my Syns, so hopefully will have been covered. I'll count it as Syns from now on, to make sure.

I'd seriously recommend giving red/green days a go when you're feeling more confident - have a look around at people's diaries for ideas, especially ones that say they do mostly red/all green - it'll give you an idea of how to cope with them :)

I do a mix of all plans depending on how I'm feeling (or if I'm doing an all-one-plan week challenge) so am happy to offer what advice I can :)

Well done on your losses so far and good luck for your next WI xx
Thanks!! I'll have a read of my SW books at some point and see if I can work it - I'll probably be back with questions!!

Hope you have a lovely break aswell - I'm off for a quick jaunt to Wales myself next wednesday, might end up just shivering in the caravan for three days if it's peeing down the whole time but it's a change from home lol
Tee hee! Good luck! If you're into castles, I recommend Caernarfon and Conwy is a good day out as well. And I'm not too far away from there, if you need a coffee and a warm place to sit for a short while!! xx
 
#20
Food
Breakfast: Fried eggs on wheatgerm bread (~50g, HEXB)

Lunch: Noodles (1 Syn?) with baked gammon bits

Dinner: Roasted chicken minus skin, oven fries (3 Syns), giant pile of string beans and broccoli

Snacks: 3x apples, grapefruit, spiced apple cake (~28g, 4 Syns)

Exercise
Finally back at dance class!! Woohoo! Made me feel very good :) (around 1 and 3/4 hours) and some very gentle walking around town (a couple of hours)
 
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