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Mothers ... aaargh!

Ro Laren

7st 11lbs down ...
S: 26st6lb C: 18st9lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 42.1 Loss: 7st11lb(29.46%)
#1
I have the usual borderline co-dependent relationship with my mother. Today I casually dropped into the conversation that I had lost a few pounds. To be told that she had half a stone to lose and 'it's much harder for people that have a little weight to lose'.

When she's the wrong side of 20 stone she might have a better understanding of the everyday difficulties I face and the potential mountain I have to climb to get to a healthier weight.

Grrr ... mothers!

(With due respect to the wonderfully supportive and loving parents on here)
 
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** Just Jools **

Slow & steady does it!!!!
S: 16st5lb C: 12st1lb G: 9st3lb BMI: 29.9 Loss: 4st4lb(26.2%)
#3
I know how you feel hun. My mum is a size 6/8 and still manages to drop into the conversation about how she needs to shift a few pounds as she's got a "bit of a belly"!! :rolleyes:

You're doing fantastic so keep up the good work. x
 
#4
My mum actively discourages me from dieting, even though I need to lose around 10 stone. She seems to think dieting is depriving yourself and making yourself miserable.

My best friend is so thin she looks anorexic and she once compared me being miserable due to being overweight with a few snide comments she gets about being too thin..... Bless her, she was only trying to be supportive she didn't realise how offended I was.

~Silence~
 

Ro Laren

7st 11lbs down ...
S: 26st6lb C: 18st9lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 42.1 Loss: 7st11lb(29.46%)
#5
I mentioned to my mother yesterday that I'd lost 4lbs. She said 'Oh, you must be so disappointed!'

Thanks Mum.
 
#6
Oh my god!!!
I feel so sorry for you Ro! 24lbs now!!!! that's a good loss!

If it makes you feel any better you're not the only one with discouraging parents. My dad very bluntly told me that I would never be thin :(

~Silence~
 

** Just Jools **

Slow & steady does it!!!!
S: 16st5lb C: 12st1lb G: 9st3lb BMI: 29.9 Loss: 4st4lb(26.2%)
#7
Oh hun, that's a great loss. Take no notice. You're doing really well, keep it up! x
 

Ro Laren

7st 11lbs down ...
S: 26st6lb C: 18st9lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 42.1 Loss: 7st11lb(29.46%)
#8
I took my nephew swimming today. It's been a long, long time. Although I have lost a fair amount of weight I'm still over 20 st. At the last minute my mother decided she would come too.

In the pool I swam over to them and Mum said: 'Look out, Ben, there's a whale coming!'

I'm honestly not sure if she was being deliberately rude or just unbelievably insensitive. Either way, it's pretty upsetting. :(
 

Barb

Gold Member
#9
Tell her - don't put up with it, tell her.

Say something like; ' You know Mum, I know that all you really want to do is support and encourage me, but when you refer to me as a whale and then look down on my weight loss when I am suceeding, it totally breaks my heart. Please help me, not hinder me'

Worth a go?

You are doing great!
Love
 
#10
I'm sorry to hear about your mum being insensitive... it must have taken a lot of courage to go swimming in the first place and to have that spoilt by your mum isn't fair.
Ro you're doing brilliantly so don't let an off comment from your mum degrade your fantastic achievement. It won't be long before she'll be eating her words!

~Silence~
 
#11
The whale comment is not acceptable at all and you need to tell her that...I had the opposite problem when I went swimming with my daughter she laughed out loud at my style totally put me off going swimming....xx
 

Ro Laren

7st 11lbs down ...
S: 26st6lb C: 18st9lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 42.1 Loss: 7st11lb(29.46%)
#12
It reminded me of an incident at school (which I've tried to forget) when someone called me an elephant - people can be really nasty.

Charliegirl - I'm sorry, but your story did make me smile a little. How old was your daughter at the time?
 
#15
Hugs Ro, that is a horrible bullying comment from anybody, never mind your mum! Guess you will just have to reconcile yourself to the fact that she isn't going to be much support in your weight loss journey.

Don't mean to be horrible about your mum, but hope you are really proud of the progress you have made, just don't let her sabotage you x
 
S: 14st13lb C: 14st7lb BMI: 30 Loss: 0st6lb(2.87%)
#16
when we went out for a christmas meal my dorta offered me 1 of her roasties and mum said to dad, oh shes a dustbin isnt she?
couple this with she rings me every week after my ww meeting and asks how much i've gained this week , you can see the level of encouragment i get.
If i'm doing well she sends us bags of donuts
 
S: 19st3lb C: 19st3lb G: 9st9lb BMI: 46.2 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#17
I took my nephew swimming today. It's been a long, long time. Although I have lost a fair amount of weight I'm still over 20 st. At the last minute my mother decided she would come too.

In the pool I swam over to them and Mum said: 'Look out, Ben, there's a whale coming!'

I'm honestly not sure if she was being deliberately rude or just unbelievably insensitive. Either way, it's pretty upsetting. :(
Firstly, slightly off-topic, yes it is upsetting. A few years ago (and a few stones lighter) a group of us were talking about what animal we saw ourselves as and I said I was a dolphin. Of course, someone said "more like a whale" - and it haunts me whenever I go swimming now :cry:

As for mothers, yes, mine is the greatest saboteur of my dieting efforts - she has this talent for what i call woodworm comments...
 
#19
I've had awful comments from my mother over the years regarding my weight. She eroded my confidence as a teenager which led me to dropping out of life for a long time. She hates "fat people" . I ignore her now!
 

Kaitlyn

Full Member
S: 20st0lb G: 12st0lb
#20
My mum is fantastically supportive. She and my sister have decided to lose some weight (my sister has only a few pounds to lose, my mum about a stone and a half) but just dong this with me is a great support.

Some of your parents sound awfully unsupportive, though.
 


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