my 1000th time of trying , but im a tub of lard and need to slim down

[rach1987]

hi there im rachael, ive lost count of how many times ived tryed and failed slimming world and my diaries on her , but i looked at myself today and felt sick at the sight of me! i havent looked in a mirror for 3 mths . i was horrified! im a mummy to 3 wonderful boys , and i have two step daughters, ive been married for 4 years and it come to the point i dont even want my hubby to look at me , where im so over weight.when we first met i was a size 10, yes hes seen me through pregnancy massive but i always had the excuse that i was pregnant or just had a baby, hes never seen me this size not pregnant and i wonder how he can even fancy me like this. so its now time to pull myself together and get back into the size 10s i have hanging in my wardrobe!!! ive been on slimming world so many times and have failed! last time i was on slimming world i was 8lb to target , just after i had my last son, but i let things slip and here i am again!
i will say i do love my wine and junkfood! and i never eat 3 meals aday.
but if i want to loose weight im going to have to give it all ive got!
also find it hard as oh and children wont eat what i eat on slimming world , so i have to cook 2-3 times every night, and by slimming world frendly for me and non friendly for them :sigh:.
my weight today was 12st 7 lb , i used to be 10st!!!! so anoyed with myself!!!

i started slimming world today , im not able to get to group but i have my books and minimins to help me along the way!!!
havent got a lot in at the moment and on a very tight budget due to not even started on xmas yet!!!

so todays food wasnt great but here goes


brekki

apple
diet energy drinks x2
coffee (hea)

snack

orange

lunch

ham and salad sandwich ( ww bread (heb),ham,lettuce,cucumber,tomatoe)
plum and kiwi


dinner

lean pork,new potatoes, peas,carrots,runner beans, gravy 3syns


drinks
diet coke

only had 3 syns today

will prob have some fruit and a hot choc later

 

[Emmaline]

Hi Rach, How are you now? Can I say first of all that you really are beating yourself up so unnecessarily... 12st+ doesn't make you so terribly obese especially at your height. I do understand that you want to get back to a nice trim figure but if you were to be a bit less harsh on yourself I'm sure you would be able to acheive it.
I note that I replied to the thread about your relationship. How is that side of things now? Is that part of your stress that is holding you back?
Hope you can get things sorted.

 

[rach1987]

hi Emmaline thank u for ur reply, im good thanx u. things seem to be picking up , we have moved and have a house now , so its took alot off of my mind. food wise ive had 3 good days , bit annoyed!! i surpose we all have our low days and that was one of those days xx

 

[rach1987]

right god knows how this day is going to go , we have harly anything in and cant afford any more shopping , so just going to have to survive on whats in the fridge and freezer,:sigh:. dont think its going to be very slimming world friendly though but will just have to try my best with what i have, luckly i have had a stash of speedy bacon soup in the freezer for a while now , so im hoping this week it will come in handy , luckly its thick so could be a cassorle , and a topping for jackets , just not sure if ill have enough ss food this week . but as i say ill keep up dated with what i have and see how things go. im due a star week , so not expection a loss this week , ill weigh in on monday. i may have my wine thats in the fridge tonight, just to get rid of temptation during the week, its the weekend we have my step daughters to so not looking too hopeful food wise , i always eat rubbish on these weekends as oh has the weekend off .