negative comments

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by daisydoll, 24 April 2009 Social URL.

  1. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    hi there
    i have started getting the negative comments this week

    'aren't you going to stop now'
    ' you are starting to look gaunt'
    and my favourite from my b*tchy work colleague ' well, i just don't agree with the way you are doing it - if you just put your mind to it you could have lost it another way....'

    what like she is - put on a llb , lose a llb with slimming world.

    daft thing is i'm not actually a healthy bmi yet - so no way am i looking gaunt.

    i just smiled and enjoyed, when she asked, telling her my trousers were size 10 and i weighed less than 9 stone 11 - the look on her face - priceless!

    love the neg comments they spur me on to never put it back on again!

    daisy x
     
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  3. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Daisy - next time someone tells you you look gaunt, simply smile, snad say, "No, actually I don't. It's called cheekbones." and leave it at that. :D

    Thats what I did - and she never said another word after.

    What are people like. Sheer jealousy by the sound of it with some. ;)
     
  4. thin_inside

    thin_inside I Can Do This!

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    Oh I am really looking forward to getting the negative comments. What a game can be played :D!

    Well done Daisy. You know how you feel and that is exactly what counts. You are doing brilliantly. As you say, no way you are looking gaunt it's just others feeling inadequate and that's THEIR problem.

    BL - loved your approach too. ;)
     
  5. littlemiss

    littlemiss Silver Member

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    Hi, yeah I know what you mean about the negative comments, I find that when they are first said, they annoy you and you're offended but after it sinks in that they're just jealous caus they're not losing weight...and it does spur you on.

    What i've also found recently is people trying to sabotage my diet...i was talking to a colleague the other day about my cravings for mcdonalds cheeseburger and she was talking me into having one?? Very strange...she's slim and im sure she doesnt want me to be slim either! :confused::confused:
     
  6. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    Way to go Daisy

    I LOVE IT :D:D:D
     
  7. jcjazzy

    jcjazzy Silver Member

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    Good for you Daisy.You look fab and you know it.People are strange sometimes.I suspect the green-eyed monster!
     
  8. vanda

    vanda plodding away

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    I've never understood why people feel they have the right to comment on how much or how little people weigh. I do think it is jealousy when it comes to weight loss and I love the comment about the cheekbones I shall remember that for when I can use it!
     
  9. Ameythist

    Ameythist Full Member

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    Hi Daisy do not give in and ignore at all times!! I gave in before I reached goal listening to Mum, Hubby etc.... I am not using them as an excuse but I wished I had stuck as I am still overweight and still struggling whereas if I would have got to where I wanted to be I think I would have fought harder to stay there..... Does that makes sense??? Good Luck Amxx
     
  10. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Ya know what would be an interesting response actually, and I wish I would have thought of it then.

    Say "It's funny how you never cared enough about me to comment that I was carrying around enough weight to give me diabetes, or a heart attack or possibly even kill me, yet now you feel we are good enough friends that you can insult me and try to put me down for MY wonderful acheivement"

    I wonder what they would have to say to that.
     
  11. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    ooo i'd love to be brave enough to say that!!!
    x
     
  12. littlemiss

    littlemiss Silver Member

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    What an excellent thought!! I had an argument with my friend when I found out how heavy I was, I was screaming at her down the fone, in tears asking her how she could let me get like this, all the times she told me...no your not fat, and yeah you look good in that. I wish i'd known the truth, but no one had the balls to tell me. :cry:
     
  13. JessicaL

    JessicaL Full Member

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    Just had my first negative comment!!
    My friends mum saw me yesterday and said
    "are you eating again yet? Its getting a little bit silly now, you can't loose anymore weight. Your just obsessed with weight loss thats all!"
    I was gobsmacked!!!
    I just replied telling her i actually have a minimum of another stone to loose!
    What is wrong with people?!?!
    xxx
     
  14. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    Perhaps, perhaps,perhaps

    Might you be getting slimmer than your friend or her mum byany chance????:p
     
  15. JessicaL

    JessicaL Full Member

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    I think i could be slimmer than her mum now, maybe! (eek did i just say that?!?) hehe :)
    I really didn't know how to take her comment, it was so unexpected!
    I guess its a compliment really!! xx
     
  16. Hopez

    Hopez Member

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    Its sad that people like to point out when you're "getting too skinny" but were they saying that you were "putting on weight" to your face??!? NO, they were saying it behind your back to each other!
    When I lost alot of weight back in my early 20s, my mother and sister would follow me to the toilet to make sure that I didn't throw up - which I would never do YUCK! Then they would proceed to buy me chocolates and bottles of wine etc. This time I'm being stronger! :mad: grrrrr! hehe!
    I agree with JessicaL - its kind of like a back-handed compliment! Obviously you look fab and people are starting to notice!
    x :D
     
  17. toller-girl

    toller-girl constantly confused

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    It's not always nastiness, jealousy or sabotage. People get used to you looking a certain way, and when you suddenly look tons slimmer it doesn't look 'right' to them.

    If they'd just met you, they wouldn't think you look gaunt at all.

    I've had so many people tell me what weight they think I should be, and if you let it, it really messes with your head. My LLC thought I should be lighter, my mum thought I was just right, my friends thought I needed to put on. It all got so confusing and I lost sight of what weight *I* wanted to be.

    I've learned the hard way, if there's any chance of keeping it off you have to take control of your own weight loss, be your own judge, criticise yourself when necessary and also PRAISE yourself when necessary. Everyone's allowed to have opinions, you'll have opinions on them too, but the only one that should influence you AT ALL is your own.

    I think you can politely accept their comment but do it in a way which makes it clear 'this is not a discussion'. Don't argue back, why should you? That implies their opinion carries weight (no pun intended) and it doesn't. They have no influence over you, and to defend yourself to them gives them a degree of power and may even create doubt in your own mind.
     
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  19. shrinkingsarah

    shrinkingsarah Member

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    great thread! I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago, and the negative comments- got to stop now, looking gaunt, etc really did mess with my head and were the final straw in me giving up and piling the pounds back on. I was still 2 stone off a healthy BMI, so what comments am I going to get when I get to goal?! at least I know what to expect this time, and I shall have some fun like you guys, and put jelous peeps firmly in their place :)
     
  20. pinkclara

    pinkclara Member

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    I'm only 6 weeks in and find that most people I work with are trying to sabotage my efforts. Constantly offering me chocolates and biscuits in the office.
    Its so annoying, I think people who behave this way are just jealous that you have had the willpower to stick at it, as most people are constantly on 'diets' and never acheive anything. Its upsetting when those around you are not supportive.
     
  21. littlemiss

    littlemiss Silver Member

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    And you know that if you accept that biscuit from your colleague, they will get a bit of satisfaction from seeing you fail. People who are not supportive are not worthy of being friends, and trying to give you food etc is definately not supportive!
     
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