Negativity...why?

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by kerrypants, 17 October 2011 Social URL.

  1. kerrypants

    kerrypants Member

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    I've been on SS for 7 days now, started on the 10th and by my first weigh in on the 13th id already lost 5lbs. Don't know what loss im at right now, my first weigh in after a full week is this thursday (well, it'll have been 10 days), but i think it should be good because i've been completely 100% and working very hard, picking up extra shifts (I work with people with multiple and profound learning disabilities, lots of moving and handling and such so quite physical work), walked the 45 minutes to work several times too.

    Everyone I work with knows that im doing SS, they've all asked questions and they are all supporting me 100%, as are my little borther and sister, and my boyfriend.

    My dad, however, is a different matter.

    I'm still cooking for my family every single night, which has been tough but i got over it. Tonight, my dad comes in from work while im cooking, goes to the biscuit barrel and starts moaning because someone has emptied out a packet of cookies on top of his digestives so he had to go on a dig to find them. He immediately looked at me. The conversation went as follows:

    Me: why are you looking at me, how many times do i have to tell you, im not eating!!

    Dad: well so you say but i cant see any difference

    Me: only started it 7 days ago, how much of a difference to you expect to see so quickly?!

    Dad: well i wouldnt be remotely surprised if you're scoffing behind everyones backs...

    I can't post the language I used back at him, but i'm sure you can imagine.

    Why do people have to be so bloody awful when you're trying to do something good? I can't win the man, he always comments on my weight, taunting me, even to the point a few weeks ago when i bought a new bed he asked me if it had a weight limit, but he's just as bad when im dieting!

    Sorry, but I had to have that little rant. x
     
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  3. fatbegone

    fatbegone Full Member

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    Uggh what an a**e :( you are doing really well. Sod what he thinks...its your body, and you have the support from people that matter. He will be laughing the other side of his face when it really does start to notice in your appearance.

    My sister is the same. She told my mum I would fail. As wrong as it is..I am half doing it to prove her wrong xxx
     
  4. kerrypants

    kerrypants Member

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    That's what I've been thinking really, I have struggled over the weekend and today, have really wanted to snack or just have a mouthful of some actual food (of course, it wouldn't end up being just a mouthful, which is why i didnt lol), and felt starving smelling the lovely food i was cooking, and the second he said that my appitite plummeted, and i thought, "well **** you! I'll show you!", probably just out of spite lol! But it is horrible, and its awful what you're sister said! x
     
  5. Dolly2

    Dolly2 Full Member

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    Seriously, what an insensitive git!!!

    You are doing so well, I cook for my family most nights and understand how challenging this can be. Keep at it and soon he will wish he had kept shtum....

    P.S. May I recommend breaking said biscuits for tomorrow, give him something to really moan about!
     
  6. ki-ki

    ki-ki Full Member

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    thats sooooo insensitive! i've lost track of the number of similar comments my dad has said to me :S

    there is certain negativity towards cd....the most annoying thing iv had said to me was from my friends flatmate:

    'why don't you just eat nothing for free?' snigger.

    arggggggg!!!!!!
     
  7. FeeneyFooFoo

    FeeneyFooFoo Full Member

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    thats shocking!

    well.. Ull show him.. stick to ur guns and do this to goal and he will have to scoff his words along with his bl00dy biscuits!!!
     
  8. Nette

    Nette Full Member

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    Aw bless you :( that must have been so upsetting!! Use it to make yourself more determined to shown him you will do it!! You can do it and prove him wrong!! Best of luck xxx
     
  9. mama22

    mama22 Silver Member

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    Omg as people have said prove him wrong and crush his bloody biscuits, just think of what he said every time you feel like eating off plan xx
     
  10. This time its forever

    This time its forever Full Member

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    Thats not nice! My Dad is similar, he makes comments like 'why do you spend money on CD, juse keep your monuth shut' even though he knows full well that Im a really healthy eater (pre CD). one day he even said, no one else in our family is fat, surely its not genetic or medical, its just that your eyes are bigger than your stomach!

    Anyway f*** them! I cant wait to lose loads of weight, he works in Saudi and I wont be seeing him till next summer, by then I should be thin so he can finally shut up!

    Keep focussed! xx
     
  11. mama22

    mama22 Silver Member

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    You best bloody prove him wrong what a target to have xx
     
  12. MrsFatBum

    MrsFatBum Gold Member

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    u poor thing. i know what its like to be on the receiving end of that. my mother in law said something awful like that to me the week i started.. and since then everytime i have even considered cheating i have remembered what she said and it fires me up and keeps me on the straight and narrow.

    they came to see us the other day and she kept on commenting on how much weight my husband has lost (he's been on cd with me) and she looks at me and says i cant tell if you have lost any at all. u look the same! i was like excuuuuuse me i may not be showing it in ur eyes but since ive come back from hols ive had to throw most of my work trousers away coz they are falling down. to which she replied... "i cant tell"...

    sorry for rant. but u will get people like that who will try and put u down... but use it to ur advantage xx
     
  13. kerrypants

    kerrypants Member

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    Thank you ladies :) It did upset me for about 5 seconds, then the rage kicked in! And yes, I am going to think about what he said everytime im tempted and show him. My cdc thinks its jealousy alot of the time, people dont like you actually doing something about it where theyre just talking about it x
     
  14. MrsFatBum

    MrsFatBum Gold Member

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    that is very true. also i think alot of people dont realise how much will power it takes to do a diet like this. i have had many people say to me that i am taking the easy way out because i dont want to eat healthy and do exercise. to which i simply replied i would love to see them go half a day without any food and then have this conversation again. this diet is so unbelievably hard and every one of us should be proud of ourselves for sticking to it.

    dont let anyone get u down babe x
     
  15. spangles

    spangles Bouncy Castle

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    there's two broad possibilities: he either knows it hurts you and does it anyway (which is emotionally abusive), or - as is common in lots of families, he's fallen into this pattern of talking to you over the years without realising how much he's upsetting you, and now does it on autopilot because that's the way he's used to speaking to you.

    If you think it's the last one, it would be worth pointing out how it makes you feel: he may be defensive and bluster during the conversation but hopefully he'll change. If you think it's the first, there's little to be gained from talking about it. It might even make him worse (depending on whether he doesn't care if he hurts you or if that's what he's actively trying to achieve). You need instead to concentrate on building up your self esteem independently of him - tempting as it is, try not to focus on proving him wrong. Instead, make his opinions irrelevant to you.
     
  16. RoisinUK

    RoisinUK Member

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    i have three brother and i do through this everytime i see them. i tried sw for a while and it didnt work, so i am doing this (1st weigh in tomorrow). i dont think they realise that what they say hurts to the core. i cook for my family every night and it is hard, but my hubby to be is supporting me so much. i dont think the comments will ever stop, even when i am thin (ha) but use the rage and upset you feel and pump it into your diet. you will loose this and then he can suck up to your thin a*se!! hhahaha revenge!!! x
     
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