not sure what to do

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by hippychicken, 19 October 2008 Social URL.

  1. hippychicken

    hippychicken Full Member

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    most of my friends i have are overweight like i am, well i have one close friend who since i started i dont feel like she is happy with me like im doing something about it and cause she not she annyoed some how, if that makes since, she always moans about her weight and she never does anything so now im getting v fustrated about it i dont know what to do, it feeling like we r growing apart cause i get easlier fustrated with her attatude, i know its not easy but i do feel and i have had to learn this maoning about things bad in ur life does not get them bad things turned into good, i dont know what to do has anyone ever experinced this?
     
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  3. wombat

    wombat Full Member

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    Hi hun:)

    I can totally understand what you feel. I have a "friend" like that. Well, she is no longer my friend... She is just jealous. You started this new chapter in your life, which will make you stronger, but she just sits there and moans.
    I would say, you dont need all that negative energy.
    I haven't seen my friend, since when I lost some weight before (I lost some weight by myself before starting ll) and was really happy about it. I wont go into much details, but we had a meeting, and she said "wow, you look like you have lost loads of weight" and straight afterwards "oh, well, you will put it back on again". I was really hurt and discusted. Like I said, I haven't seen that person since. True friends will be happy for you, no matter what.
     
  4. jon1964

    jon1964 Member

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    Wombat - wise words. Pure jealousy - she has you "in a place" where you are weak and overweight....this probably makes her feel better. I work with people like her.

    If she doesn't like you thin and positive....it might be time to let her go. If she really means a lot to you, you need to talk it over with her.
     
  5. emzski

    emzski Full Member

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    I think most of us know someone like that! I have a friend who although she is quite supportive I think she is secretly wishing I fail, she tests me a lot by asking me out for lunch or round to hers for Chinese. I get so annoyed and quite angry at her for doing this but I have learnt to use it and make me more motivated to show her no matter what she tries I am going to show her that Im going to look amazing and lose my weight. While she will still sitting making excuses. We were going to start LL together but she made so many excuses as to why she couldnt.

    Its a case of the big green monster and they are losing their "eating companion" I say if they dont like it then thats there problem and dont let it affect your weight loss!
     
  6. tara66

    tara66 Silver Member

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    Because you are in the right place to do something positive about your weight doesn't mean that she is, so this can make things difficult. She may be jealous or it may be that your tolerance of her is lower than usual.

    The reality is that to do this or anything that involves really major changes in your life requires a lot of effort and positive thinking and focus. It may be that you are going to have to re-evaluate the relationship as sometimes just being around negative people is very draining and can impact upon you. The person doesn't have to be negative towards you, it can just be that they have a downbeat attitude about their own life that isn't helpful.

    To be honest my sister is like this, not about me or my weight loss, just about life. Obviously I don't want to cut her loose as I love her loads but I do try to limit my contact at the moment cos I have to be selfish to reach this goal. Sorry if this is a ramble but you won't be imagining the situation and you don't need it to be any harder than it has to be x
     
  7. moanz

    moanz Full Member

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    3 of my friends are overweight, one about my size, & i know when my weight loss starts to notice, she'll react in some way. My other slim friends just think i'm mad to live on shakes!
    I agree, its jealousy, all you can do is recommend the diet!
    'Real' close friends will be pleased for you x
     
  8. Polly740

    Polly740 Full Member

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    I have to agree with Tara.

    My sister knows I've lost weight and even though everyone else commented at the weekend, she didn't say a word. Maybe a little bit of jealousy because shes put weight on lately.

    My tollerance of people has taken a really big dip lately...so that doesn't help the situation!

    You need to either speak to her about the issues you have or put it down to experience and the fact that she couldn't have been that good a friend to start with :D Friends would be pleased for you.

    xx
     
  9. bekimo

    bekimo Fighting Demons....

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    I have this never ending struggle with my MALE housemates. All of my female friends are very supportive. Mind you, most of them are very sporty and fit and have fantastic bodies. (They only keep me around cus of my fantastic personality you know!!!!)
    But the two guys who live with me are an absolute nightmare. For example, on Friday they came home from work with the BIGGEST bucket of fast food you ever saw and just started waving pieces of fried chicken in my face. They find it highly amusing, I don't! The thing that's interesting about it is that they both have weight issues, one of them is quite overweight and the other one is pretty "normal" but has lost a huge amount of weight, using the most unhealthy method I have ever heard of, which I'm not about to go on about here!
    If anything else, it has proved to me how strong I can be. Not only for refusing all of the various foods they keep trying to give me, but also for not killing either of them. Yet.

    B x
     
  10. hippychicken

    hippychicken Full Member

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    well done, i had that when i went to friends it was my 3 week and one of the guys was like mmmm this chinese is yummy doesnt it bother u he was really annoying me so i said yes it is v serious and he shut up! i guess time will tell how me and my friend gets over this if we do
     
  11. bekimo

    bekimo Fighting Demons....

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    And in turn, if anyone hears of two boys being bludgeoned to death with a chicken leg on the evening news, you will all know what happened!!

    B x
     
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