Not very pleased with myself!

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by hpops, 5 October 2007 Social URL.

  1. hpops

    hpops Member

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    Hi

    I've been ssing for 4 months and followed it to the dot - not a scrap of anything has passed my lips - I've lost about 3 and a half stone and in spite of hitting my target and then wanting to loose more - and then hitting my new target and then wanting to loose more... I am still not at a weight I am happy with. I am 5 ft 1 and currently weigh 10 stone - I think I'd like to get down to 9 and a half minimum - maybe even 9.

    That's the background - here's why I'm not very pleased with myself!! I have the willpower of an OX - if I say I'm going to do something I get my head down and I motor on with it - SS - although hard at times was a blessing for me as it fit in with my willpower and worked fantastically. The trouble started when I went on holiday and had a "week off" I started with the intention of being good - but I was very concious that I might be causing a fuss at meal times "we went on hols with in laws" so I decided to have a week off and eat whatever. Since then I seem to have opened up the floodgates to binge eating (something I have never reallydone before really) and of course it's always chocolate and cakes etc. I'm completely mortified with myself as I pride myself on having cast iron will power and to an extent I do - if I said to myself today - right it's back on SS - I would once again do it without faultering and have done - but then I have a bad day, or like at the moment I have a cold and say to myself I deserve a treat and "have a naughty day" as I have begun to call it.

    I read an article by Icemoose yesterday about SS being the easy part of the diet and te life changing bit being the hard bit - and I guess that's where I am at the moment - I guess I'm questioning whether I can do it.

    It seems to be an all or nothing - I can eat nothing - but if I eat something, then the bad stuff will find a way of creeping in and I'll find a way of telling myself it's alright!

    This is coupled witht he fact that in spite of loosing 3 stone - I still don't feel slim - or particularly good about my body - true I'm not disgusted by it anymore - but I don't feel proud mf what I have acheived - I know I should, but I don't.

    I'm really hoping Icemoose will respond to this post as I have found reading his posts in the past soooo much help and I think the stage I'm at is very similar to what I read in his article - I'd like to know how he dealt with it. I can't work out how to PM though!!!

    Well thanks for reading - I appreciate it - sorry for rambling!! :wave_cry:
     
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  3. skinnymonkey1day

    skinnymonkey1day Silver Member

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    OH HONEY

    FIRST OF ALL YOU HAVE DONE FANTASTIC....:party0011:YOU SHOULD BE SO PROUD OF YOURSELF. I WISH I HAD THE WILLPOWER YOU HAVE GOT. I STARTED IN APRIL DONE WELL THEN CAME OF IT FOR FEW WEEKS THEN I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET BACK ON FOR WEEKS.:confused: JUST CANT SEEM TO STICK TO IT. YOU HAVE DONE GREAT . HAVE YOU GOT ANY PICS BEFORE AND AFTER?



    SHARON XX
     
  4. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    Right young lady...tough love.....you have done this before, you can do it again!!

    I know how you feel though. It's just a shame that you can't be happy with yourself, because that is what it sounds like from your post.

    You have done really well to have lost all that weight.

    Just make that first step again and you can do it!

    Take care.

    x
     
  5. minilady

    minilady Gold Member

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    Hi

    I can really relate to how you are feeling. I lost 4 stone on CD and found CD the easiest diet I have ever done, I've dieted most of my life and have never reached goal, but this time I did. Fantastic we all think!

    Then comes the problem of maintenance:rolleyes: I think for me the diet was easy as I could hide away from food, there's no choices, no weighing and calorie counting etc. So it was easy to crack on with the diet as I had no temptations to overeat etc. Once food was again on the menu, I had some problems. I found myself having the occasional treat as I felt I deserved it and for a while I was convinced I'd never binge again. I was wrong after a month at goal I had a terrible binge night, nothing would satisfy the hunger I felt, I ended up feeling very sick, dissappointed and guilty:( It was then I decided to look into the psychological reasons behind my food issues. I read many maintenance threads on Minimins and found them extremely helpful, also Karion Dieting's posts are great, she has a wonderful knack of writing things simply and always making lots of sense.

    I have now been at goal for 4 months, in that time I've gained a couple of lb then lost it again, I still have the occasional binge, but I am beginning to feel more confident that I won't pile the weight back on and I can stay on track.

    Most of the time I also don't see myself as thin and if anyone mentions it, instead of accepting their compliments I always seem to say something negative like 'yeah but my tummy could be flatter etc.' I also don't think my acheivements are wonderful as so many people on here have lost so much more than me and I feel my weightloss is nothing compared to theirs.

    However saying all that, I am pleased to be at goal and although maintenance is a struggle, like everything it's getting easier with time and I'm sure everyone feels the same as this at some point. I think we think we are indestructible after acheiving so much and the first time we overeat etc. it causes panic to set in, as we are so terrified of ending up back at square one. I guess the answer is to accept that what we have achieved is something to be very proud of and that we're human and occasionally we'll go off the track a bit, but it is possible to put that behind us and perhps cut back for a couple of days to get the balance right again.

    Sorry I've rambled on and on, hope I haven't bored you:D

    Tracey
    x
     
  6. hpops

    hpops Member

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    Tracey

    How telling that we both wrote sorry for rambling on at the bottom of our posts!!

    It's great to know there are other people struggling with the same bits I am!!

    I guess the real problem is that I don't feel like I've acheived anything - the question is will I if I loose those extra 7 pounds or is the problem that I don't value my acheivements??
     
  7. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    Can I suggest something?

    Have you tried to lift the weight that you have lost? Have you put it into a physical mass - ie tried lifting sacks of potatoes that equate to the same weight you have lost?

    If you have the proof in front of you, maybe you will come round to thinking that you - yes you, have lost all that weight. Do you really want to continue eating the wrong things and gaining to the point that you are back where you started and completely miserable???

    I sympathise with you, as I suffer with really low self esteem, to the point that several years ago I was prescribed anti-depressants and was contemplating my life's worth - who would miss me if I was gone etc.

    You have come such a long way....make your mind up to start a fresh at the beginning of next week - so you will have time to get into the mind set over the weekend and get rid of any demons at the same time.

    I hope I haven't sounded as if I am having a go at you, I would just hate for you to throw away everything you have accomplished.

    Take care

    Kerry-Ann

    x
     
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  8. blue_grapefruit

    blue_grapefruit Gold Member

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    I've come to a decision - Mrs V is a legend!
    What a crazily good idea! I'm so gunna do this when i get to goal xx
     
  9. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    Lol!! Thanks Leah!!

    My Mum did this after loosing 8 stone and I remember bags of potatoes everywhere!!!
     
  10. blue_grapefruit

    blue_grapefruit Gold Member

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    Shame she couldnt eat them - bet she'd have put ALL the weight back on. tee hee xxx
     
  11. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    Nah, she was doing the SW diet and they are free on a Green Day!!!

    I was sick of cheese and potato pie for ages!! Lol !
     
  12. minilady

    minilady Gold Member

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    I have to say that I set my goal at 9 1/2 stone and after working up the plans on stabilisation I ended up under that goal. I do recognise my acheivement, but I still undervalue it with thoughts that other people have lost so much more than me etc. Perhaps you would feel differently if you lost another 7lb, but then again maybe not. You've moved your goal posts several times so have achieved your goals several times too. I actually think the way you have done this is great:) You didn't set your goal too high to start with, which some people seem to do and then find it difficult and then feel they have failed.

    We need to love ourselves more and give ourselves credit (easier said than done I know:rolleyes:).

    Tracey
    xxxx
     
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  13. icemoose

    icemoose The Diet Guy

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