Notlongnow - diary of a past self sabotager - no more though!

[notlongnow]

So I decided to log my journey on here - a place to rant and celebrate! I have done cambridge a few times, once properly 4 years ago and lost 3 stone but stopped a stone off my target and then fiddle faddled about going up and down a bit, doing CD every now and then but not really properly. I had another concerted effort the following year and got down to that same weight again a stone above target and in the last 3 years i have tried a few other things but never really got anywhere. In my head I was on the "diets dont work mindset" so whats the point in trying! the result is I am back up to just over 13stone (at least not the 14 that I first started at) and have 3 stone to lose. Some might say why keep trying something that hasnt worked in the past - well good question - but I feel in the zone, i know this works for me and once I am in ketosis I find it quite easy to stick to!! (famous last words!) and i am trying to work through the mental side which is where I fall down in the maintenance part of it. As my CDC said lets get the weight off quickly and deal with the next stage when we get there!

So I have survived day 1, am at lunchtime on day 2 - so far so good but I know the hardest bit is yet to come before it becomes easier thanks to ketosis.

I am going to try to come on here most days to vent and hopefully celebrate and probably bore anyone reading this to tears but I think it might be helpful to me!

I am feeling hunger pangs now so think that maybe over this first week I will be on this site quite alot to keep me going.

 

[Rkmriddell]

So I decided to log my journey on here - a place to rant and celebrate! I have done cambridge a few times, once properly 4 years ago and lost 3 stone but stopped a stone off my target and then fiddle faddled about going up and down a bit, doing CD every now and then but not really properly. I had another concerted effort the following year and got down to that same weight again a stone above target and in the last 3 years i have tried a few other things but never really got anywhere. In my head I was on the "diets dont work mindset" so whats the point in trying! the result is I am back up to just over 13stone (at least not the 14 that I first started at) and have 3 stone to lose. Some might say why keep trying something that hasnt worked in the past - well good question - but I feel in the zone, i know this works for me and once I am in ketosis I find it quite easy to stick to!! (famous last words!) and i am trying to work through the mental side which is where I fall down in the maintenance part of it. As my CDC said lets get the weight off quickly and deal with the next stage when we get there!

So I have survived day 1, am at lunchtime on day 2 - so far so good but I know the hardest bit is yet to come before it becomes easier thanks to ketosis.

I am going to try to come on here most days to vent and hopefully celebrate and probably bore anyone reading this to tears but I think it might be helpful to me!

I am feeling hunger pangs now so think that maybe over this first week I will be on this site quite alot to keep me going.

Distraction is definitely the key. I am too on day two of a restart, stick with it we'll soon be skinny. Were also at quite a similar starting weight then too x

 

[notlongnow]

You are doing really well already - 2 stone gone keep going...... hope day 2 is progressing ok.

I am stalling on here waiting for shake no 3 for the day - feeling ok but my knees are really aching - getting rid of all the toxins probably. I was away last week and as we are told not to I had everything in site with the knowledge of starting this on my return - how stupid is that?!? eat masses more than i would normally just before starting with the result of gaining weight before losing!! Ah well, I am an out and out emotional & binge eater - one of the many issues I need to address in my time without food!

 

[rugger bugger]

Good luck hun, I've just done my first week of a restart, this time it will work because, like you, my head is in the right place.

RB x

 

[Rkmriddell]

Yeah I'm aching too don't really notice till I do something like climb the stairs. Funny how your body deals with things isn't it. We all do the same hun I had a chippy trip the night before I started and won't tell you the rest of the days food lol. I don't think anything I ate that day wasn't full of carbs lol. Like you though I'm a massive emotional eater I learned so much about how I ate last time I did this just wish I'd stuck it out the end and not thought I knew better!!

 

[Clairem89]

Hi mrs, Im on day 5 and starting to find it so much easier!! Well done for getting through day one! and good luck for the next few days , not that you will need it as you can do this!! xx

 

[Dohnuts]

I'm on my first day of a restart today and in the past I have only been able to stick to it for two weeks after feeling no difference and then sabotaging the whole thing because I made a slip up. I'm determined to keep it up this time though - we can do it!

 

[notlongnow]

Its so nice to come on here intermittently and to find such nice and inspiring replies! Thank you all.

I think we all have our issues with food and i think the key is recognising these and working out how to cope! I do feel in the right head space at the moment and hopefully long may it continue - it certainly helps to read people posts and successes. My goal at the moment is to make it into ketosis - I remember feeling full of energy and not bothered by hunger or food and if I was it was because I was in a situation I would normally use food to deal with - not looking forward to the dreaded day 3 but once it is done I'll be nearly there (ketosis not goal weight unfortunately!!)

 

[Rkmriddell]

Its so nice to come on here intermittently and to find such nice and inspiring replies! Thank you all.

I think we all have our issues with food and i think the key is recognising these and working out how to cope! I do feel in the right head space at the moment and hopefully long may it continue - it certainly helps to read people posts and successes. My goal at the moment is to make it into ketosis - I remember feeling full of energy and not bothered by hunger or food and if I was it was because I was in a situation I would normally use food to deal with - not looking forward to the dreaded day 3 but once it is done I'll be nearly there (ketosis not goal weight unfortunately!!)

See I never got the energy lol. I just was extremely tired and cold all the time. Hopefully this time I'll get the energy haha.

Cd is great for making you recognise your issues but you're right it's learning how to deal with them that's te hard part and I think that's where working up the steps is the important part xxx

 

[notlongnow]

let the dreaded day 3 begin!! Roll on bedtime is all I can say!!

 

[notlongnow]

Day 3 is dragging - am feeling very hungry but the further on the day gets the more possible it seems. Keep reminding myself of a friends 50th party in July & how would I feel going at this size - will be lots of people I haven't seen for ages & as I was slim until I was 40 many won't have seen me with the extra 3 1/2 stone - that idea fills me with dread. I know it would ruin the whole day for me and the weeks before trying to find some clothes that will hide all that weight!!

Plus we are off on holiday in August and I don't want another fat holiday so both of these are keeping me going today. I do not want to have to wear those control kinda shorts things to stop my legs rubbing together (apologies for nasty visual image but this is to remind me what the summer will hold for me!!)

So by sticking to this now I have time to make a huge difference to how I look then - only a few more hours til bedtime.........!

 

[Rkmriddell]

Day 3 is dragging - am feeling very hungry but the further on the day gets the more possible it seems. Keep reminding myself of a friends 50th party in July & how would I feel going at this size - will be lots of people I haven't seen for ages & as I was slim until I was 40 many won't have seen me with the extra 3 1/2 stone - that idea fills me with dread. I know it would ruin the whole day for me and the weeks before trying to find some clothes that will hide all that weight!!

Plus we are off on holiday in August and I don't want another fat holiday so both of these are keeping me going today. I do not want to have to wear those control kinda shorts things to stop my legs rubbing together (apologies for nasty visual image but this is to remind me what the summer will hold for me!!)

So by sticking to this now I have time to make a huge difference to how I look then - only a few more hours til bedtime.........!

We're almost there!!! On the home straight for ketosis now hun. I think days three and four are generally harder but then well be there!! We can do it x

 

[Clairem89]

Hey, day 3 is nearly over how u getting on?? i was struggling last night so just had 2 glasses of water and headed straight to bed xx

 

[notlongnow]

Day 3 survived! Just been to chinese circus so good for distraction all evening - apart from I left my water in the car - felt parched despite drinking what feels like 10 pints all day!! Tongue is coated in lovely substance so can't be that far from the holy grail of ketosis!! Not that I'm impatient or anything.

Feels good to be doing something about my size as have messed around with "diets don't work so what's the point" plus "just accept myself at this size" type of thinking for quite some time whilst slowly getting bigger & bigger. So although it's still hard it still feels good.

Here's to day 4........

 

[Rkmriddell]

Day 3 survived! Just been to chinese circus so good for distraction all evening - apart from I left my water in the car - felt parched despite drinking what feels like 10 pints all day!! Tongue is coated in lovely substance so can't be that far from the holy grail of ketosis!! Not that I'm impatient or anything.

Feels good to be doing something about my size as have messed around with "diets don't work so what's the point" plus "just accept myself at this size" type of thinking for quite some time whilst slowly getting bigger & bigger. So although it's still hard it still feels good.

Here's to day 4........

Ah bet your mouth tasted wonderful lol. Hope you enjoyed the circus x

 

[notlongnow]

Yes both tastes & looks disgusting! Will have to remember not to do any wide mouth laughing as people might think I am infectious!!

Woke up feeling good today tho - cant wait to be further along rather than counting everyday/minute!!

Am hoping to be completely in the swing of it by Sunday as I will be subjected to lots of baking and foodie stuff at work. I demonstrate kitchen products and have to do a brownie pan, oven liner and a range of chutney, mustard & sauces - all fairly testing but hopefully will be completely ketoed up & so will find it a breeze.

Think must be almost there with ketosis as I had that slightly wired feeling when I went to bed and woke up 5.30am wide awake - I do remember that from before so burn fat burn.......

Feel quite chuffed made it this far as I have been at home most of this week which normally would have had me going backwards & forwards to the fridge & biscuit tin every day & once i had started i wouldnt stop then swearing to not binge the next day & having the whole cycle repeated - so mini pat on back for me!!

 

[Rkmriddell]

Wow - you're doing really well!!! Hmm your job sounds hard work but like my dream - i love baking so would really enjoy it. Don't mind not eating afterwards, but hate not being able to taste before others, you know - to make sure it's ok lol x

 

[notlongnow]

So have managed day 4 but feeling a bit low - think its mainly that yes have lasted 4 days but there is quite a ways to go and it feels quite daunting this evening. Have recognised a few self sabotaging thoughts creeping into my head - eg read an article about someone who had lost 5 stone (not on CD) last year & has regained it and I realised I was thinking that's what will happen to me, plus someone else talking about an acquaintance who is doing dukan & saying how stupid those fad diets are - needless to say I didn't pipe up that I was doing this. Both these make me doubt myself & the point of it all. I recognise these are my brain trying to get me to cheat & give in but it's hard at this stage before being in the swing of it & with some big losses under my belt.

I have read some really motivating journeys on here & this is perking me up. Think I will have an early night - like right now and hope I wake up in a better frame of mind.

 

[notlongnow]

So woke up on day 5 - again at 5.30 most unlike me but managed to doze- and feeling fine but just feel the time is dragging so much. Think it's cos I'm not working this week & so lots of time spent at home. I'm pottering around doing bits but to he honest I'm not massively into housework so can't say I've spent hours doing that - wish I could just pay someone else but unfortunately it is down to me!

Meeting a friend for coffee later so will try to leave shake 2 for as long as possible .....

 

[Rkmriddell]

I always find weekends harder cause i'm at home and out of my routine - am just planning to try and keep myself busy this weekend, take the kids out, maybe some housework etc etc x