O/T joke for the men (dont want you to feel left out)

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by tara40, 25 June 2009 Social URL.

  1. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    The Man Rules
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

    Finally, the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear 'the rules' From the female side ...Now here are the rules from the male side.

    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
    ON PURPOSE!

    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    1. DON'T ASK IF YOUR BUM LOOKS BIG IN THIS; WE LIKE BIG BUMS ANYWAY

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem
    only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
    other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

    1. Christopher Columbus did
    NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
    A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it
    will be scratched..
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
    Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
    FOOTball, motor sports OR THE TITS ON THAT.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape.
    Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can -
    to SEE IF THEY HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR.
     
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  3. dino4

    dino4 Full Member

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    oh excellent ....a guy bashing thread!!!:p

    all of the comments are completely true!!!!:D
     
  4. dino4

    dino4 Full Member

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    and in my defence m'lord! i dont complain about the toilet seat being up!!!

    i only complain about your dodgy aim!!:p what do you want.....a bulls eye painted at the bottom of the cistern?!!!
     
  5. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    totally agree with you there. i am the only female in my household with 4 men folk. i need my own toilet.
     
  6. Julianne_julz

    Julianne_julz Bears dont dig on dancin'

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    ...and there it is, the male brains thought capacity... Just proves they can't multi-task, do anything that ovbiously needs doing unless nagged, and don't give a damn about much in general lol.
     
  7. Donnie46

    Donnie46 Slow but sure....

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    LOL...very good.
     
  8. Frontier-Phil

    Frontier-Phil Silver Member

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    Very good !!!like it alot

    Phil x
     
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