O/T Would you forgive someone who cheated on you?

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by Caz, 16 July 2009 Social URL.

  1. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    Completely off topic here! Just wondering, if your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife cheated on you, would you or could you forgive them?

    What constitutes as cheating?

    Is an 'emotional affair' as bad as a physical one?
     
    Last edited: 16 July 2009
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  3. kerryberry

    kerryberry Silver Member

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    No simple as that!
    but i say that now but if i was in that position i am not sure how i would cope or what i would do sorry that wasn't very helpful was it
     
  4. eyeontheprize

    eyeontheprize can see the end in sight!

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    nope. No way. I would be up and out and he wouldn't see me for dust!!
     
  5. white

    white Full Member

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    no no no, 1 1/2 yrs ago i found out the farther of my child was cheating that nite a wed it was, he was sleep on sofa so bag up al his clothes and put them out on the front lawn lol then threw water over him to wake him and adivse him hisclothes were on the lawn. i saw him out and went to bed!! was the hardest thing i ever done, now we get on great (friends only) and he seems to have more respect for me. Funny thing is he with the same girl but every wk tells me he wants me............... sorry m8 you loss! but on a gud note we get on so much better.

    so no lol sorry for waff!
     
  6. herewego

    herewego Gold Member

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    I don't think so although it's really hard to say. That's why I freaked out the other night as I assumed when my DH wanted to "talk" he was going to tell me he'd had an affair. He hadn't, he was worried that I didn't love him anymore as I don't pay him as much attention as I used to (the fact that we have 2 young children :family2: and I'm working full time :character00148: seems to have escaped him LOL).

    Cheating was always non-negotiable to me and I made that very clear early on in our relationship. I still feel very strongly about it, but I do also believe that it is possible for a relationship to survive after an affair. I just don't think I could ever trust again.

    Difficult topic! It's kept me from eating for 3 minutes though :)
     
  7. LizS

    LizS Shut up Ethel

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    Don't know. Possibly...even probably. Why do you ask?!
     
  8. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    Ok, another addition to the question... what exactly in your mind constitutes cheating?
     
  9. ELAY

    ELAY Full Member

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    NEVER...

    They do it once, who's to say they aren't going to do it again!
     
  10. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    Just wondering!
     
  11. kerryberry

    kerryberry Silver Member

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    spending quality time with someone, kissing, sex and anything else he can't find the time to do with me lol
     
  12. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    Would you say emotional is as bad as physical?
     
  13. kerryberry

    kerryberry Silver Member

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    i would yes but thats just me a bit of flirting is ok as i am a big flirt myself but i think people know when they have gone to far
     
  14. herewego

    herewego Gold Member

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    I'd say emotional is probably worse than physical. I might possibly be able to forgive mindless sex, but a romantic connection with another woman....he'd be out the door if he managed to get out alive (joking).

    I find it really hard to define cheating. I guess it's the intent that really makes a difference. A bit of harmless flirting is not cheating, but flirting in order to get off with someone is. Any romantic/sexual physical contact is cheating as far as I'm concerned. Again, it's the intent to be with someone else.

    Tricky one...
     
  15. Caz

    Caz Slimming down the aisle

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    I wondered that, whether the whole she meant nothing thing is better or worse! In a way knowing he wouldn't have cared about her is surely a good thing. I say he about her, obviously I know girls cheat too!! But then, at the same time, I kinda think I'd be like she meant nothing but yet by cheating he'd have been willing to risk everything that supposedly did matter.

    Is interesting to see people's responses.
     
  16. mrsessex

    mrsessex Gold Member

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    All depends on what happens

    An affair- never

    A quick mindless fluck - probably as I've done it myself
     
  17. Lizzylocket

    Lizzylocket Winning a losing battle!

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    I'm with herewego on this one, the emotional side would definitely be harder than just a mindless one night stand. Not sure if I could forgive my DH if he had an affair of any kind.

    Having been through my parents divorce when I was a child due to an affair, I think that may have influenced my views on the subject.

    I'm also a believer that if they do it once, they'll do it again but I guess it's difficult to say how you'd react unless you're put in the situation.
     
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  19. fitz

    fitz Lovin it !!! :)

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    Betrayal is just that, wether it be online or for real - the fact that the intent was there and ultimately someone always gets hurt................

    Never cheated myself - yes I have been tempted - who hasnt, but have thought about the other people it would affect - I have been cheated on myself and the irrational thoughts is causes/lack of trust - eventually eats away at any relationship - not worth it and not worth the pain.

    I am a bit of a believer also of the saying "a leopard never changed its spots "

    Just my opinion - obv cheating happens all the time and people do forgive/forget and overcome it to build a stronger relationship - me - well - i couldn't forget.
     
  20. redhead66

    redhead66 This will be my year

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    I'm with herewego and Lizzylocket on this... emotional is worse than physical.

    My ex had a problem with the zip on his trousers - it kept coming down in the presence of other women whenever I was away wih my job, which was quite a lot! It hurt a lot, but ultimately I knew that for him it was just a physical act, so the only thing I was concerned about was my health.

    My OH and I both have close friends of the opposite sex who we knew before we got together. After we'd been together a few months we sat down and had a long discussion about what is, and isn't, acceptable to discuss with them. We agreed that a solid relationship means being each other's best friend, so the ultimate betrayal would be to find out that we were sharing our innermost secrets and fears with our friends rather than with each other.
     
  21. irishangel

    irishangel Full Member

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    Forgive me for I have not read all the posts....:break_diet:


    For me the emotional betrayal was like having my heart ripped out & stamped all over - it made me doubt the 9 years we had been together ...had he ever 'been mine'...was our whole time together just a lie, was I just someone with whom to pass the time??? ..

    You see to me to find out that he had 'sh*gged' some1 on a drunken night out would of been devastating but...it woulda been a drunken mistake, difficult but I believe iI could of forgiven & moved on - however to find out that he'd been unfaithful for 9 months - and had been doing things like 'clothes' shopping with her, decorating her new flat & meeting her parents & taking them for lunch was to much to forgive - no going back from that ...

    I'd lost him - he was no longer focusing his attention where a husband & father should...it was over....:cry:The End ...


    debs xx
     
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  22. Watergirl

    Watergirl Rock Solid

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    I can't imagine how anyone could do that to someone they are supposed to love. If you get to the point where you're wanting to cheat then end your relationship, because you're obviously not happy.

    I'd like to think if someone cheated on me I'd behave with dignity, but I think I'd be more likely to get violent! I would never forgive or forget and for me, trust and honesty, is the cornerstone of any relationship. Once it's broken what's the point?
     
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