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Ok So Feeling rubbish today

Hi All,

I'm feeling a bit rubbish today.

I went for a job which was perfect and i mean perfect and didn't get it but that just the tip of the iceberg, I'm going to lose my job in march due to a restructure of my local authority but the main reason i feel down is because of 1 thing.

I don't really have any friends anymore............. i used to be a proper social butterfly, and then when i fell in love i found better things to spend my time on.... my (ex) best friend was a complusive thieving liar who would say things like when i refused to g out on a night out that she had lukemia, when she didnt and when i felt bad and went out she would steal money, make up and cigs off me.

My other friend is in an abusive relationship and she stole and used me... plus her boyfriend sexually assulted me and she told me i deserved it because i was a flirt.

and my other "friends" are the mums of the 6 kids i nanny for so they only want me when they need something.

I'm a really kind giving generous outgoing person...i open my home and give them all i have to give yet everyone seems to tread over me or on me!

I'm sick of being used!
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Oh hun you definately don't need 'friends' like that in your life. I have been in a similar situation and finally had enough.
I find it hard to make friends myself as i'm not a very social person but one of my resolutions is to meet new people and hopefully have friendships.
We are a bit far away from each other but i'll happily be your online friend, if you ever need to talk etc x
These people were not the sort of friends you want or need and you're better off without them!

I think most people neglect their friends when they fall in love (I know I did) but your real friends will still be there for you whatever happens. Most of my friends moved away when they went to uni and never came back so I know how you feel but you've always got us :) I know were too far away to give you the proper hugs you deserve but we're thinking of you and sending lots of cyber hugs. xxx
Bless the both of you!

Thanks for your continued support i just miss the silly things like going to the pub after work just for one, or that very over priced very fattening hot chocolate in those famous coffee shops.

I know i don't need them and it was hard cutting the strings but i just miss those things!
Could you not join a club or something you can volunteer at? Im a scout leader and have been for years, I have met so many good friends, and my boyfriend, through doing this. I used to be painfully shy and would never have spoken to people. Now people cant get me to shut up and I teach kids the basics of cooking and looking after themselves something I never thought I would be able to do. You say you used to be a social butterfly so it should be easy enough for you to pick that up again. I think you just have to put yourself out there and go for it! Hope you feel better soon. :hug99:
Its hard as i work 2 jobs and a 78 hour week. Plus with my confidence the way it can be sometimes, i just don't want to be out where people can look and judge me eventho one of my jobs is customer facing i dont care what i look like to them, they are the ones that need my help and guidance.
I was shy & lacked confidence when younger, but when I had my two children I couldn't afford to go to work so went to Uni. Having to give presentations to a room full of people gave me the confidence I needed.

When you & OH go out where do you go, if you go to the pub is it a local, do you see the same people there. If you do you could start by making simple chit-chat with some girlies. If you had more time I would suggest joining a group, either keep fit, cooking, learning a new language, something where you are all in the same boat & have something in common.

Yes you have lots of friends on here, but it's not the same, sometimes you just need someone to talk to. I'm very lucky I get on with my sister & can talk to her about anything, but if I didn't have her I'm not too sure which of my other friends I could talk to.
Thats really flipping **** to be honest hun, theres no other way of putting it.

in the past, i have been through some very tough times.. and iv had to 're-create' a new group of friends on 3 occasions, the first time when i dropped out of school, my 'best friends' who'd i'd been to nursery with all the way up to senior, turned on me and subsequently began spreading my deepest secrets about things that had happened to me, and i then had months and months on end of horrible abuse, not only to me but to my family,

the secound time, after i'd left school i was with my boyfriend, and we'd split. All of my friends were 'his' friends.. and i was pushed out,

and then again, the third time, i woke up and realised what a horrible person i was and how pointless my life was becoming because i was surrounding myself with people that wernt good for me, or looking out for my best interest's. They werent 'true' friends..

I know how awful it is to feel alone, and its even worse when everything else around you seems so bad. I'v been there and its awful.
But the best thing about this is atleast you recognise that you deserve better friends and are not willing to settle for people who arnt genuine friends.

I have one best friend. Shes been my best friend for 4 years now, through thick and thin, she's been there when we'v had to make new friends, and she's the only person who has ever genuinly been my 'friend' no matter what, she's there.. and i have Joe. My OH. and that is it. sure i 'know' people, but these experiances taught me well, and i know what friendship really is now, and as sad as it may sound to only have her and my OH.. i'd much prefer it that way, than having a life full of false people and false friendships, because sooner or later it will all happen again.

Focus on yourself, your own life, and friends will find you, in un-expected places, you will find genuine, real people.. and find a friend for life. You will be okay.



a new way of living!

I have recently moved to okehampton in devon, and I have very few local friends as I moved from warwickshire.

we could meet up for coffee if you ever fancy it? I dont know whats half way between us (not up on local geography yet!) but it'll be nice to start making local friends.

pm me if you fancy it. I have wednesdays off and free most weekends, I have a fiance but he wouldn't mind me going out on my own the odd weekend. I am not much of a party animal and prefer day times to going out at night. I love the cinema too so I am sure we could sort something out.

Helen :D
Aww Hunni I really feel for you, and if I lived nearer to you I would snatch this opportunity at showing what a friend should really be like. I'm kind of in the same boat as you at the moment but its sort of my own fault because I moved away from my friends. I had excellent loving friends and enjoyed going for a cuppa with them or shopping to try on clothes we could never afford. Ive realised as we get older we have to accept the changed life throws at us.

I used to be a cheerleader and in a group of 15 girls it was impossible not to have friends. I miss my friends too, would do anything to get them all back but I chose the love of my life. :) and I suppose he was worth the bargain. xxx

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