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okay, here goes...


Full Member
Hey..so this may sound melodramatic to some but this is how I am feeling. I can't talk to my mum about these things as she has absolutley no sympathy and ends up telling me 'that I am now 23 years old and I should be able to snap myself out of these particular moods!'

I hate my life at the moment... I absolutley hate it, honestly I could go to bed and never come out again. I just feel bloody lousy! I fell pregnant @ 17 had my daughter at 18 and was never with her father (he was violent)... I have had an off relationships but never anything really serious. When my daughter was 9 months old I went back into education.. got a BTEC National Diploma, went on to gain a Higher National Diploma with distinction and now I came completing a top up into a BA Hons degree... I just feel completely zapped!

I think about all the opportunities I could of had and what I didn't think about... and as my daughter gets older she is developing more of an attitude and a temper like her father (she is also ginger which does not help in the slightest!)

I feel like I am going now where... I have lost 2 stone but that doesn't seem like much in the big picture, I can't see myself with any career direction right now and I just feel like I an drowning. I hate it, I hate it when I feel like this but I just feel crap!! :(

Had to get this off my chest... thanks for reading :(
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Silver Member
Stacie - First of all I wish I could give you a hug but as I can't I am sending a vitual hug. You have done so well so far, you have got your qualifications, lost two stone so you are an achiever, you went back & qualified when your daughter was only 9 months old - that in itself is bloody amazing, I don't know many other people that would have done that! You are having to cope on your own so I am not surprised that you feel down especially if your mum isn't giving you the support you need, are there any groups you & your daughter could go to where you are that would give you support or any friends that could help you out every now and again? As for your missed opportunities, they aren't 'missed' they are just delayed for a few years, as your daughter gets older & more independent you can start to do more stuff for yourself and still be young enough to achieve it! At the moment there probably seems no light at the end of the tunnel but there is, it is just very dim for you at the moment.

I am sorry I can't so much else other than words but we are always here to listen & try to help as much as possible.

Take care of yourself xx

Mrs V

Loves Life!
Julie is right Hun...dont look at what you havent got, rather than what you have.
Is there any help out there available to you? Im sure there would be some sort of Sure Start that could offer respite and a break for you and little one. (Just because you are a Mum, doesnt mean that you shouldnt have some time from your little one!)
Also, studying is hard whenever you try it, let alone when you have yourself and Daughter to occupy!
I have red hair...the temper will improve Hun! ;)

Virtual hug coming your way and remember it is ok to ask for help when you need it, it doesnt make you a failure, only a human being.



Full Member
Thanks guys, I appreciate the words.. I am just having a really rubbish day and she just always seem to be on one at the moment and it is dragging me down. It's hard I know and I should get over it but its just sometimes I feel like the whole world is ontop of me and I am drowing.

In relation to groups and stuff because Soph is now school age there isn't that much for us to go together around here and also I live like 12 miles from the nearest town so there isn't much for people my age around here. Just a result of circumstance really. I will be fine I am sure.
Thanks for listening though x x


I am one of the 63336
Hi Stacie

Have you searched for online support groups and forums?

You've done a bloody marvellous job of things - not just in view of what you've been through, but anybody should be proud of achieving what you have.

Maybe you aren't giving yourself enough credit?

Please don't take this as patronising as I don't mean it that way at all but you ARE only 23. You've so much of your life left ahead of you and so much you can do in it.

My brother got his degree in his mid-30s. My elder sister became a teacher at 40.

I'm 42 in 2 weeks and still haven't decided what I want to do when I grow up!!

Next time you have half hour to yourself during the day and the weathers nice, go for a walk and sit somewhere with a view. Forget all about what's happening/has happened with your life and just 'enjoy' nature and what's around you.

I promise you, you will feel more relaxed and able to cope xx


is working hard.....
Hi Stacie - you are an total inspiration. You really are. You've taken the world on its chin from the age of 17, and here you are, a fighter - a winner! What a precious and amazing example you set for your daughter - yay you! :girlpower:

I am so so impressed with your academic achievements - and your weight loss is fab. You sound to me like a girl who has it all going on and then some - but I suspect your 'inner' voice is your harshest critic and I bet it shouts very loud! You need to tell it to :kissass:lol!!

I followed a similar path to you, very similar (I'll tell you it all one day I'm sure). But I'm here 20 years later wishing I'd sorted myself sooner weightwise - top marks to you for losing 2 stone already. You can do it! As for the rest, I'm a bit like suepat10 I still wonder what I'll do when I grow up!!

Life. Is. Hard. Lots. And especially hard on your own with a firecracker of a daughter by the sounds of things. I have one of those. She's 12 - pre-teen and a redhead too. Love her to bits but by golly she tests me every day without fail.

Stacie - tonight, once your DD is asleep in bed, creep in and watch her sleep. :zz: (I do this a lot.) Watch your miracle rest safe and sound, all tucked up, knowing that no matter what, you are her rock and her protector. You are an amazing Mum, a hard worker, a concientious and determined woman. And if you can do what you have done so far - you simply can do anything. :superwoman:

As for a career - look up this book in your local library (or google/amazon) if you can - 'What Colour is Your Parachute' by Dick / Richard Bolles. I found my career direction after I read it. I often still re-read it - even now when I'm contemplating a new change of career after 20 years. Its a good book and it might help you.

Sorry to ramble on, but your post really struck a chord with me.

Stay strong, look forward, and be proud. You can do it! :party0011:


Silver Member
Hi Stacie, not really sure what I can add to what everyone has already said, but being a single mum is very difficult I know all about that. A brilliant single parent forum is singlewithkids.co.uk the people on there are great fun and they do lots of cheap holidays/weekend breaks and days out. Your weightloss so far is brilliant you should be proud of yourself.


Gold Member
You have actually achieved quite a lot in your 23 years of life and have a lot to look forward to. You seem like a determined person no matter what falls ahead of you, so take advantage of those skills that you have and make the most of it!
Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply. I had a crap day and it all came to a head really. :badmood:

I had to observe my 'mentee' for a portfolio for my degree and it kinda of brought back how much I miss working, but aren't able to because of where we live and also being single with parents who work full time hours. Once again victim of circumstance lol!

I can be tuff on myself, I think what also made things so hard today was I saw a friend with her new born baby and her partner; they were all so happy and loving (of course) but just reminded me that I never had that..and it was my choice for it to be like that... brought back that sometimes I think I should of thought harder about my decision and how it would impact the rest of my life. Like I said to her today..it is all well and good imagining yourself @ 18 with a baby.. what about having a 15year old..and that worries that hell out of me.

I want to succeed at everything, be able to control it all and I am just not able to. I think when the end of my degree comes in a couple of weeks it will be better. I also have the stress right now of getting the last few assignments and presentations finished and handed in before I know it is all done... but then I have the thought of what I am going to do next year!

My head is a heavy mixed up place at the moment, I go through these stages where I get so much into my brain I can't actually sleep or think because as I think about one thing it leads onto another and so on until I am contemplating 17 things and still haven't worked out the first one! :brainfart:

I think I need to take a bit of pressure off myself and just know that I am trying and that I will be able to get there in the end (with everything) although it is just going to take time... and we all hate how long things take lol :boohoo:

Once again, thank you for taking the time and consideration everyone, thank you x x


Fighting the bulge
hey Stacie,

Theres really nothing i can say that others havent just wanted to send you (((hugs)))

This is quite random but i was listening to a song by Amerie called 'gotta work' earlier as it really helps me to feel determined when im having a crappy day, give it a listen, it might help :)

Hope thinks get better for you :)

*Hugs to you* I cannot offer any words of advice or comfort because I feel exactly the same as you and have done for a few years.
I live with a bloke who is a complete a--e! And I have got a daughter of 8yrs old that thinks she is 18. Some days I just feel like walking out and not coming back. This might sound awful but I dream of a life without both of them (although I love my daughter with all my heart). I have lost nearly 3st now and have got a lot more to lose yet and I am determined to carry on and lose it because I want to be more confident so as I can go out and get myself a life.
I hate my life too, but I have promised myself that my time will come.
Sue x
*Hugs to you* I cannot offer any words of advice or comfort because I feel exactly the same as you and have done for a few years.
I live with a bloke who is a complete a--e! And I have got a daughter of 8yrs old that thinks she is 18. Some days I just feel like walking out and not coming back. This might sound awful but I dream of a life without both of them (although I love my daughter with all my heart). I have lost nearly 3st now and have got a lot more to lose yet and I am determined to carry on and lose it because I want to be more confident so as I can go out and get myself a life.
I hate my life too, but I have promised myself that my time will come.
Sue x
Thank you, It really rings true to me... today I was determined not to get too frustrated with her and I just wanted to walk out.. I just wanted her to go which is horrid because she had been at school all day.. but she just pushed my button within 10 mins of being in.

I need to develop my patience and remember that she is only 5... but also I believe I shouldn't have to put up with some of the crap she blimming well gives me!! is that wrong? x
No you are not wrong at all luv. I think because we are feeling the way we are that we have got a very short fuse and doesn't take much to ignite it.
Sometimes I have really bad guilt trips when I have shouted or disiplined my daughter and I haven't seen her all day, but like you I think, why the heck should I put up with it. Sometimes I just wonder where I am going wrong, but I can only try my best.
indeed that is what we need to try to do! x x


Full Member
Hi StacieG

My son is 5, he is at the age where he constantly pushes his luck. He will say can a have a sweet, I say okay, then he says how about 3, I say no....
It is hard because they dont give in. Its very hard to take it all and be strong when you have other worries too.
You are so strong, I often think that I couldnt be a single mum. I always need to unload the days events onto someone (boyfriend)
So all I can do is send you a hug
I also look at my son when he is fast asleep and think he is so wonderful and why do we have to make each other angry? Then I feel guilty
x x


Mad old Bat with Attitude
Oh Huney! I really do admire you! You have achieved so much, and all on your own!
My son is 34 (the youngest :eek:)and just finishing a top up degree, he has no children and is absolutely whacked, so the fact you also have your daughter to take care of it's no wonder you are tired and stressed.
The trouble with children is they don't come with a manual! You sound as if you both need a break, and once your degree is finished you need some time just to recover.
thanks everyone it means alot that you have taken the time to respond and tell me what ya think x xx x x

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