Other people!

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by jcjazzy, 10 March 2009 Social URL.

  1. jcjazzy

    jcjazzy Silver Member

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    Hi all, Just want to run something past you all :D.As i said in a previous post I work as a nurse.I must admit to being a bit ashamed :eek: that I allowed myself to get so overweight that I need to do this diet,but nevertheless here I am. I work closely with 5 other female nurses and told them just before I started what i was doing.2 of them were a bit dismissive ,but the other 3 were great.However on my first day on it one of them (who has never had a weight problem,but is obsessed by food)told everyone at a meeting I was at that I had started it and they all asked me about it.I wasn't very comfortable with this and told her not to tell everyone,but obviously was not forceful enough!In the meantime she brought in the Paul Mc kenna CDs for me!She obviously thinks this would be a more appropriate way to lose weight.Anyway today at another meeting she told everyone again.I again asked her not to tell everyone ,only for one of the docs to say she was being supportive!I then felt bad about snapping at her and apologised! Now I know all lot of this is about me giving myself a hard time for getting to this stage,but I can't help feeling she is not being supportive.Am I just being too sensitive????
     
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  3. roundrachel

    roundrachel Silver Member

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    it's bad that she's gone against your wishes not to let the world and his dog know. I know some people don't want people to know because they're ashamed about being so overweight in the first place. I certainly was.
    However, i did tell everyone I knew as a motivation for myself more than anything. And I think it really helped. I knew I couldn't cheat because people would know. PLUS you get so many more compliments when the weight starts falling off!
    If people are being supportive then it's great if they know but it should be your choice so the lady at work was out of order yes.
    Trust me, once you become a LL fan (which you will once the weight starts coming off!) you'll be shouting from the rooftops about how fabulous it is!!
    Good luck with your diet. You've picked a great one. It's worked for so many of us on here xxx
     
  4. Starlight

    Starlight Gold Member

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    She has no right to tell ANYONE and to tell people when youve specifically asked her not to is downright rude. Id have a word with her again and make your feeling very clear or alternatively speak to your boss and ask them to speak to her.
     
  5. Foxtrot

    Foxtrot Is back in the saddle!

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    Well I certainly wouldn't hold her to any of my confidences again, and I'd let others know that she's not to be trusted with personal information, and would certainly question her ability of being in a supportive roll!

    However... you now must show her her comments are like water off a ducks back, you are doing this your way for you and no one else and you already have the suport you need with you group, llc and here of course ;)

    But that's just me as I can be quite protective and if I was at your place of work in that meeting I would have probably torn her off a strip or two. :rolleyes:

    You really are a part of a great group here and the diet will do it for you!! Pooh to her!!
     
  6. jcjazzy

    jcjazzy Silver Member

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    Thanks everyone for your insights.I've been thinking about this tonight :mad: .This woman is very controlling and I know she fundamentally does not approve of LL,without knowing a great deal about it.I think she has mentioned it twice in this way to get others to try to make me see the error of my ways! I suspect this is because I have not really been persuaded by her efforts alone.She has also said she could never do LL (not that she needs to )as she loves f..d too much.Don't know if thats part of it too.I did tell her not to tell anyone else todaybut then over-compensated for snipping at her by apologising for my behaviour.Gotta lot to learn I guess :)
    As for the PMck cds I will use them when I am eating again so she has been helpful!
     
  7. PurpleButterfly

    PurpleButterfly 16lb to go!

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    Could try explain more about the diet to her? I usually explain it from the angle that "you get all your nutrition needs in these packs and the idea is you're abstinent from food for a set time, alongside counselling to sort out why you're overweight in the first place. And it's all medically researched etc etc". Don't even mention the 500cals thing unless they ask, cos that's what people object to most I find. From that angle I find most people are supportive of it, or at the least understand and respect me doing it. I would also be very firm about the fact that you want to tell people about it when you are ready.
     
  8. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Hi Jazzy

    Well, personally, I think that nurse is bang out of order. Simply bang out of order. You asked her not to say something, and she tells everyone? I find that really horrible, and I would say something to her. I am a bit shocked really. Its none of her business. I don;t find it supportive at all. I would explain that to the doctor too. WHy would he think her going against your wishes supportive? Weight is a very personal issue - and one that does not come with bags full of pride - ya know. It something we wish we DIDN"T have to share, but we cannot hide it. So for her to decide its ok to tell everyone - well, she needs a slap!! Thats my 2p worth!!

    And please, do not feel ashamed. We may choose our careers, but we do not choose what life throws at us, and how it affects us. You have nothing to be ashamed of. :)

    xx
     
  9. Tange

    Tange Silver Member

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    Jazzy

    I think the way forward here is to tell her how you feel and how she made you feel. Its not right what she did and we are all adults responsible only for ourselves so what you choose to do to loose weight is ultimately our own decision.

    I will tell you one thing though in a few months you will have so much confidence you will easily tell her where she can go and fly a kite.

    Do this for you and only you. do not allow others negative thoughts to have an impact on others. Or do what I did make it a reason even more to stick to what you are doing.

    Good luck hun, this will be the best thing you ever did.
     
  10. susianna

    susianna Full Member

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    Hi Jazzy

    I agree with everyone here and she clearly is being quite sneaky and using the excuse that she is "just being supportive" when in fact she is going against your wishes and trying to encourage others to give you a hard time about this as she has realised that she cannot beat you into submission alone.... hmmm quite nasty actually.

    Definitely have a quiet word with her alone and make you thoughts very clear (if you can refrain from slapping her ... lol BL ... )in a very calm and controlled way.

    Good luck Jazzy, we are all here for you and you so can do this even with this stupid busy body poking her nose!

    x
     
  11. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    I'll do it!!! Let me!!! Me! Me! Me!! :slap:

    always happy to help!

    :sign0151::tomato::rant2::angel09::Na_Na_Na_Na:
     
  12. Foxtrot

    Foxtrot Is back in the saddle!

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    I'll do the verbal, you can do the physical BL!!! Let us at her, let us at her!!!
     
  13. MandyLupton

    MandyLupton Gold Member

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    I agree with BL and the others............how dare she go against your wishes and tell everyone!!!.............the woman is a liability!!! for heavens sake don't tell her any other personal details as you may just find the info in the local paper!!!!!
    This woman definately needs avoiding at all costs unless work related!!!
     
  14. jcjazzy

    jcjazzy Silver Member

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    Hi PB, I have already explained the fundamental facts about the diet to her.I think she is judgemental, and its her way or no way!Plus she has no concept of what it feels like to be obese!
     
  15. jcjazzy

    jcjazzy Silver Member

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    Hi BL , Very perceptive as always.To be fair to the doc she wasn't aware I had already spoken to this girl and on this occasion it was in context of cake being offered! I don't mind people knowing I am trying to lose weight,but don't want to debate pros and cons with workmates.I am doing it!
    Regarding the slaps I think you'll need to join the queue!!
     
  16. jcjazzy

    jcjazzy Silver Member

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    Thanks you've got the jist perfectly.I am glad you are all so supportive.She drives me crazy all the time!!
     
  17. jcjazzy

    jcjazzy Silver Member

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    ha ha you made me laugh at the thought!A big queue is forming!
     
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  19. jcjazzy

    jcjazzy Silver Member

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    Thanks Tange I have made my feelings explicit to her.She got the message explicitly.She won't put me off this path.I am doing this for me,and I won't allow her negativity to dissuade me!I can't wait until I'm slim!
     
  20. lucylastic

    lucylastic Silver Member

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    You go girl! And I'm right there with you! :D
     
  21. jcjazzy

    jcjazzy Silver Member

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    Thanks Mandy, The only reason I did tell her is cos I share an office with her! I usually do avoid her as she ain't much fun!!
     
  22. jcjazzy

    jcjazzy Silver Member

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    Thanks Lucy x
    And thanks to all of you. I am able to be more objective about it tonight I think.OK I am a nurse and I am obese but I am taking action to correct this and have nothing to apologise for!I suspect some of you have also felt pressured by others when doing this diet,but we just need to be strong don't we.People who really care about us will support us nevertheless.Like you lot :talk017:
     
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