Partner sabotage

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Nixy, 30 January 2011 Social URL.

  1. Nixy

    Nixy Full Member

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    Hi guys

    I'm new to these boards and not sure if this has been spoken about before.

    My OH is the worst at sabotaging my weight loss!! He moans that he doesn't often like the things on slimming world and ALWAYS wants lashings of oil and butter in things he cooks.

    He usually wants to make sunday dinner and today is a pot roast made from a Gordon Ramsey recipe and I calculated its 14 syns per portion (which isn't so bad) but means I need to use my healthy B on oil and have no other syns. Am I being selfish??

    I haven't been doing slimming world long and as I only have 4 weeks until my final dress fitting for my friends wedding i'm running out of time!!
     
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  3. sockmonkey

    sockmonkey Full Member

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    Partners can be tricky. Yours sounds like mine used to.

    He firmly believed that food without fat can't be nice, because he'd watched a few too many TV progs where they say that 'the fat is where all the flavour is' or use half a block of butter to a recipe then orgasm when they taste it at the end. Possibly he may also have been thinking of the boring diet-girls he knows, who push a lettuce leaf round their plates at every meal then sit there looking miserable. He had a 'punishment' mentality, that is, "I'm not fat, why am I being punished?"

    Things changed partly because I started showing him how easy it is to adapt recipes. Partly it was because if I didn't tell him I was serving up SW 'diet food' he didn't know. Partly he realised that the two of us eating separate meals for the rest of our lives wasn't sustainable. If he likes cooking, get him involved in adapting recipes to SW and try them together.

    As far as today goes, well, DO YOU WANT THAT DINNER? If you do, eat it and don't feel guilty.
    If not, sit him down, explain that you are focussed on the wedding dress right now and there'll be a time and a place for this kind of food, but today isn't one of them. Lay it on thick that you want to be beautiful for him on your wedding day. Suggest an alternative, or a few changes to the recipe. Explain the difference a bit of fat here and there really makes - a lot of people who have never needed to diet honestly don't know, my OH didn't. Don't let him make you feel bad for standing your ground. And don't be emotionally blackmailed into eating something you don't want.
     
  4. Nixy

    Nixy Full Member

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    Thanks Sockmonkey

    He is a right pain sometimes. He is supportive but says he doesn't want to not have nice food. I made a SW dish the other day, he loved it!! even licked the plate....lol

    It's only my friends wedding not ours....but still want to look nice.

    I do want the dinner and I have spare syns from yesterday so I think I will try to enjoy it. It's my first week so I think he will just have to get used to it.

    Also I am not allowed in the kitchen when he is cooking!! I think he thinks he is actually Gordon Ramsey.
     
  5. linton34

    linton34 Member

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    Sounds like my house!!

    Hi,

    I am in exactly the same situation, my husband loves to cook but try telling him that you don't need all the oils/butter/cream/cheese etc and he won't listen, also thinks the food will be tasteless.

    I sat down with him last night and showed him some of the recipes in the sw magazine and that no fat needs to be added, he has said he will help me 100% this time around as he knows how miserable I am about my weight. We've agreed that I'll do the cooking then I know exactly whats in the meals....how long that will last is a diff story, he loves to take over in the kitchen!!!

    I've put on 4 stone since I met mr masterchef....(I do love his cooking though lol) but really have to shift the weight for me, I live in spain and dread summer when it's far too hot to cover up with joggers and sweatshirts....the reason i came here was for a better healthier lifestyle, been her 4 years and put on 2 stone!!

    I can totally sympathise with your situation, good luck with your weight loss.

    Claire
     
  6. silly sausage

    silly sausage Peas on Earth

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    Hi Nixy

    He can only sabotage your efforts if you let him. You sound focussed on your goal so, if I were you, I would make my own meals and let him do his own.

    Even if he is a skinnymini, all that butter and oil cannot be good for him, but it's his choice.

    SW food is really delicious without the fat and sugar. You actually get so used to it that oily stuff tastes yukky if you have not had it for a while. Good luck and hope you look and feel fab at the wedding.
     
  7. RegField

    RegField Silver Member

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    I agree with silly sausage on this one - you don't have to eat it. Or you could just have a taste, say "yes, very nice" and then eat what you have prepared for yourself.
     
  8. ColJack

    ColJack Gold Member

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    just "give in" and cook for him, ban him from the kitchen and do something he likes, but SW style and don't tell him..
    after a few dinners like that then tell him that he's been eating "diet food" and did he really notice the difference.

    my sunday dinner is not at all different in taste than my mothers used to be and it's virtually syn free ( got to have gravy :) .. 2 syns )..
    she used to baste the roast taters in melted butter, I use butter frylite.. easy..
     
  9. Cityredgirl

    Cityredgirl CRG

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    Without sounding sickly my fiance is my rock,she is always encouraging me to do my best,and she will stock up on fruit and veg for me,she adores me and enjoys my S.W meals, sometimes its difficult as she is so waif like,petit size.8-10 and I'm 5"7 and weigh in around 15st6lb !! A lot of the time I feel grotesque and struggle with why she Would find me attractive! .The other half has a small diet but appears to be able to eat anything she wants,she.will often sit next to me and eat shed loads of chocolate, cakes and biscuits ,on my part sometimes its hard not to be envious. Xx
     
  10. ColJack

    ColJack Gold Member

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    ah yeah but she's a gurl... they're all kind and sweet and thoughtfull of others, whereas blokes are generally clueless and think of ourselves first...
    sorry... :(
     
  11. hastalavegan

    hastalavegan Silver Member

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    You obviously haven't met enough men Coljack ;)

    I know plenty of sweet, supportive and thoughtful men.
     
  12. ColJack

    ColJack Gold Member

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    yeah there are a few of us, but we tend to be the bigger guys and the "friends".. women tend to go for the bad guys... nice guys DO finish last... :(
     
  13. -Laura-

    -Laura- Silver Member

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    I have this problem with my OH! He's actually very good and will come up with SW friendly meals, but bans me from the kitchen while he cooks - I hate it, I'm convinced he'll end up chucking extra stuff in thinking it won't matter and bulking up the syns!!
     
  14. Hayleyberrybenj

    Hayleyberrybenj Full Member

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    My hubby actually comes with me to class and happily eats the SW friendly stuff I cook.The problem we have is when we go out to eat and I stick to plan and he adds butter/sauces etc to his SW friendly food then orders the HUGEST pudding whilst I sip my black coffee :rolleyes: And today I just ordered hotdogs as a treat for the kids and a syn free salad for me but hubby ordered a chicken kebab.I SO nearly changed my mind and got one myself :sigh: I get so annoyed at his lack of will power but it's not really my place to do so is it :p
     
  15. Nixy

    Nixy Full Member

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    Ahh thanks guys your all so lovely!!

    He is supportive 90% of the time but I think in his eyes it's just 'another diet' that will fail in the end. He only really cooks at the weekend so we have come up with a plan. I will cook my food the slimming world way during the week where I don't tend to use many syns anyway. Then at the weekend he can cook what he likes but has to tell me what is in it so I can plan my syns and/or adapt it to slimming world.

    ahh men eh, can't live with them can't live without them
     
  16. Nixy

    Nixy Full Member

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    ooh forgot to say one good thing about him is he is a right gym bunny!!
    He is really motivational when it come to exercise. He has said in the past that if you exercise enough you don't have to 'diet' but hey we all know that isn't always true.
     
  17. RegField

    RegField Silver Member

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    I am confused about people saying they are banned from the kitchen. Twice now, in this thread.

    How do you get banned? Does he lock the door? The idea of being banned from a room in my own house is impossible for me to imagine!
     
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  19. -Laura-

    -Laura- Silver Member

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    Not quite to that extreme, although if he could, he would! I'm basically just not allowed to get involved or get anywhere near the food because I'll take over, or ask so many questions and make so many 'helpful' suggestions that he may as well not have bothered cooking at all.

    I usually just end up being told off and ordered to sit down and watch telly or something :)
     
  20. Nixy

    Nixy Full Member

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    HA HA Laura it's exactly the same!!

    Apparently I hover over what he is doing and talk to much...apparently it's the can't cope with more than one thing at a time thing
     
  21. hastalavegan

    hastalavegan Silver Member

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    That's complete rubbish. Sounds like you've been reading too many gossip mags :p
     
  22. redmel

    redmel Dreamer

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    I do ALL the cooking here so I don't have that problem....

    BUT he does consistently nip to the shop for milk/bread/baby mik etc and come back with chocolate bars or biscuits! He always brings me one because he says he would feel guilty just buying them for himself/kids.

    On most occasions I manage to stick it the cupboard but it then varies from minutes to days, how long it actually stays in there;)

    xx
     
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