Shirleen
Gold Member
Disclaimer: the following suggestions are for amusement purposes only, the poster accepts no liability for any consequences should the acts be carried out. 
Now it has been said I have a creative flair fir revenge! Not that I do any if these things of course, but sometimes just thinking of what you COULD do is enough to lighten the mood.
Feel free to add your own!
For the Hapless Hubby who:
Acts like a child and sulks... carry a lollipop and offer it to him, this particularly works in public, preferably in front of peers.
Can't find items even when TOLD where they are... Take some time to draw some maps of rooms in your house, if the idiot is very bad you may needs maps of furniture too! Laminate them and when asked for example 'where are my socks' you can draw an X on the chest if drawers in bedroom....you may need to specify which drawer.
Won't look after the children whilst you go to gym/SW/bookclub... Get your mum to look after them AND him at the same time in your house...do NOT take kids to mums, this rewards his bad behaviour with an evening off!!!
Won't cook.... declare Saturday night to be 'cooks choice' and only cook stuff HE doesn't like mmmm.
For the Boss .....
Carry a small sachet of Brown sauce in your bag, smear a tiny bit on their chair seat (this works better if they're wearing light clothing), so that they look like they've had an accident.
Repeat everything they say v...e.....r.....y s...l....o....w.....l.....y. To make sure you don't get it wrong.
Quote them in every conversation, so for instance say 'Claire' said I should collate this work and bring it to you. Make the name stand out and he/she will think everyone is talking about them. But not when you're having a whinge.
When they're talking to you keep flicking your gaze from their eyes to their left ear, frown a little bit as you do it.
Next time look at their mouth and make as if YOU have something on yours and wipe it away.
If they're on the offensive take half a step towards them, just lightly in their personal space and lean forwards. They will step back making a defensive motion, you've won!
I have more just no brain power today!
Now it has been said I have a creative flair fir revenge! Not that I do any if these things of course, but sometimes just thinking of what you COULD do is enough to lighten the mood.
Feel free to add your own!
For the Hapless Hubby who:
Acts like a child and sulks... carry a lollipop and offer it to him, this particularly works in public, preferably in front of peers.
Can't find items even when TOLD where they are... Take some time to draw some maps of rooms in your house, if the idiot is very bad you may needs maps of furniture too! Laminate them and when asked for example 'where are my socks' you can draw an X on the chest if drawers in bedroom....you may need to specify which drawer.
Won't look after the children whilst you go to gym/SW/bookclub... Get your mum to look after them AND him at the same time in your house...do NOT take kids to mums, this rewards his bad behaviour with an evening off!!!
Won't cook.... declare Saturday night to be 'cooks choice' and only cook stuff HE doesn't like mmmm.
For the Boss .....
Carry a small sachet of Brown sauce in your bag, smear a tiny bit on their chair seat (this works better if they're wearing light clothing), so that they look like they've had an accident.
Repeat everything they say v...e.....r.....y s...l....o....w.....l.....y. To make sure you don't get it wrong.
Quote them in every conversation, so for instance say 'Claire' said I should collate this work and bring it to you. Make the name stand out and he/she will think everyone is talking about them. But not when you're having a whinge.
When they're talking to you keep flicking your gaze from their eyes to their left ear, frown a little bit as you do it.
Next time look at their mouth and make as if YOU have something on yours and wipe it away.
If they're on the offensive take half a step towards them, just lightly in their personal space and lean forwards. They will step back making a defensive motion, you've won!
I have more just no brain power today!
