Please can I have some advice?

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Badmama, 8 August 2008 Social URL.

  1. Badmama

    Badmama Member

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    Hello!
    I've been on lighter life for three weeks now. Cheated last night and ate something, which made my husband see red - and he told me to stop wasting his money and quit. I have no idea what to do. I have struggled this week, but I have had a really bad cold (passed onto me by my lovely husband) and we are moving house in a couple of weeks.

    I do struggle with the water intake, but I am in the process of packing, and I have children - so not easy to give myself the time.

    My husband also feels that the money would be better spent on the new house and making it nice. So, not only do a feel rotten at having slipped up and eaten something - I feel incredibly guilty that I am taking so much money away from my family.

    Trouble is - if I give up LL now, that will be it. Fat blimp forever, and I dont want that. But I am struggling with the diet. And I am a bit disillusioned with the whole dvd counselling sessions. I thought it would be more than watching a dvd.

    I am stuck - half of me wants to quit because it is hard and the money could go on new furniture for the house. But the other half wants to keep going and be that slim person.

    My husband has made me feel so guilty - I dont know which way to turn.

    Can anyone offer any advice please?
     
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  3. flirty40greeneyes

    flirty40greeneyes Busy busy busy!!

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    Only you can do it ... or not do it - but if you decide to continue you must ask your husband to support you to make it easier for you.

    Water intake is a big help in losing weight - plus filling you up so you are less likely to cheat.

    If you stopped until you moved house - so less pressure on yourself and husband - would you start again?? How much have you lost so far?? - how much more would you like to lose?? Have you considered CD or LT which are cheaper alternatives?? Or do you like the CBT of LL??

    Good luck with house move - and whatever you decide to do.
     
  4. Badmama

    Badmama Member

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    Hi!
    I have got nine stone to lose. Lost 9lbs week one and 4lbs week two. This week not lost anything. (obviously). No I wouldnt go back onto LL if I stopped now. Husband wouldnt allow it. He is supportive to a point - but he has been deliberately winding me up for a couple of weeks - which isnt helping when I am trying to get ready to move us. Doing it all myself - so very hard at the moment. He wont cook for himself or the kids and deliberately rubs my nose in his eating.
    I am so frustrated....
     
  5. Tange

    Tange Silver Member

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    Hi There,
    The only advice I could give you is to do this for you. I know it must be really hard to have to cook for others but if you focus on what YOU want and just get your head down you can do it.
    Your session doesn't sound great either, we also had to watch those DVD's but out group ended up having hysterics at the Bridget or frigid as we called her. but there was always a discussion after that was invaluable. Maybe look at a different counselor if you are not getting the help you should be.
    If you have made your mind up that you do want to get rid of the weight then its up to you. Don't let others get in your way.
    I am sure its not as easy for you as this sounds. Good luck and if you are ever in need of a pick me up or need to of load then this site is the best place to be.

    Keep us posted on how you get on.
     
  6. Kas

    Kas Member

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    Dont pack it in!

    Hi BM
    It seems to me that you maybe looking for an excuse to fail. I don’t mean that in a nasty way but you have a lot on your plate and with the guilt trip from your other half you are up against the wall! But what is most important is that you feel good about yourself and if you give up you won’t. You are obviously at the end of your tether (like all of us!) to take a diet as drastic as LL. Why don’t you think about CD or similar which are cheaper? You will always get support and encouragement on this site, so if the counseling at LL is rubbish what are you paying for? You may as well do CD pay less and get your own support from here! But please don’t give in because you will do it one day it might as well be NOW.
     
  7. Badmama

    Badmama Member

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    Spoke to my LL councillor

    Hi!

    After your replies I decided to bite the bullet and ring my councillor and tell her how I am feeling. So I am off to see her and get weighed in and collect my packs for this week.

    Thanks for your replies. I dont want to be this fat woman anymore - and you're right - only I can do this.

    So thankyou for that lift ladies. It's made me more positive - I've had a bad week, but it's not going to stop me. Today is a new day and I am going to do it!
     
  8. Tange

    Tange Silver Member

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    Thats the spirit. You are worth this and as many of us on here will tell you its the best thing we have ever done.

    All the best of luck. Stay strong.
     
  9. Jen85

    Jen85 Full Member

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    Hello.

    I still cook sometimes and find it easier if i either keep my minty mouth spray close, so if i am tempted i have a quick squirt and that take it away a little (who want minty spag bol!!) haha. Also i sometimes drinka savory drink whilst cooking - this helps take away any feelings of deprivation.

    Hope this helps.

    Jen X
     
  10. My~Turn~Now

    My~Turn~Now Full Member

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    im glad to hear you've decided to stick at it. is your hubby worried you might change with the weight loss? he sounds quite negative.
    It might be worth sitting down and talking to him its in his interests too that you lose weight to live a longer and healthier life especially as you have children.

    i too am in my third week and have 6 children, 1 of whome is poorly and takes a lot of our time but i promised myself that i would make a commitment to myself and to the diet as in the long run they benefit as much as i do.

    wishing you every success in the next 11 weeks and beyond

    Jan x
     
  11. Topcat

    Topcat Member

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    Well done for keeping going - you've done the right thing. I've had lots of lapses over 6 months, some small like yours, others massive, but each time I've picked myself up and carried on and I've been so glad I did. Your new house will still be there in a few months time to do nice improvements to, but the difference will be that it'll be a thin you making those improvements! I also find it much easier to deal with stress while sticking to the abstinence, as at least ONE part of my life is under control. My husband also got annoyed if he witnessed a lapse, but he much prefers the new me, so he now just says that he's sad if I do it, which normally spurs me on to be abstinent again!
    Some other top tips:
    - Make lots of small goals to inspire yourself - try to have one every week and tick them off as you go.
    - I also drink a savoury drink, sip a hot milkshake or drink a lemon tea made with the St Clements water flavouring whilst cooking for my family.
    - I clean my teeth as soon as I've finished my foodpack, and keep a toothbrush in the kitchen.
    - I made a list of the things I like doing more than eating, and put them on the fridge door.
    - I always have a distraction ready in case temptation strikes - anything from a nice magazine to a clothes catalogue, a list of people I need to call for a quick chat or some old clothes I need to try on to see if they fit now.
    - I make my husband & kids scrape their own leftovers into the bin when they've finished their meals.
    - I make meals for my husband that I don't like. I'm not keen on fish, so he gets tuna sandwiches, prawn stir fries, fish curries, you name it!
    - Just don't buy the items that might trigger you to fall off the wagon, even if your family like them. There are plenty of other things they can eat. That took me months to accept!
    - If I'm having a really bad day, I tell my husband that I'm wavering and that he'll have to fix his own dinner else we might waste the LL £66 for that week. He sometimes grumbles but the thought of the money is a good motivator for most blokes. If all else fails, send him to the fish & chip shop.
     
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