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Please help me :-(

#1
I dont know what to do :cry:

My eating disorder has come back, I don't know where to turn, i do not want to go to the doctors there is nothing they can do, i just need to put my feelings down, and ask anybody for their advice, perhaps a diet plan?

I am so slow in losing weight, been doing slimming world for 4 weeks now and have only lost a few pounds, sticking to it 100%, i did EE days for 3-4 days then red days.. This week i have done all red days.

Anyway this whole weekend all i have done is eat, you would be disgusted if i told you exactly what.. I think it is the carbs, when i have some i want more.. Yesterday i had a whole boil in the bag rice with my quorn bolo cus i thought i would do a green day, then within half an hour i ate another boil in the bag, then right after i had 2 bananas, an orange and an apple... then about an hour later i pigged out on more, and it went into today too.. :cry:But i have not made myself sick.. (i used to)

I think i done this because i am so depressed with being fat, i am so hurt, so i eat? I really want to have variety in my diet, and be able to eat what i will enjoy nothing to boring.... I cry when i read menus for EE i can not do that for long cus i gain, or i am starving.. Red days are the only days for me.. ? Has anyone been in this situation ? I heard the more you eat the faster yor matablism works so you lose more? I dont understand this..

I am more inclined to do cambridge all over again, i nearly got to goal with that, i felt so incontrol and never hungry (after first 3 days) BUT i did gain weight when i started eating proply not because of the way the diet is, it was because i just pigged out, because i had levy to do it.... grrr i am so angry and upset...

I so hate myself!! I don't know what to do, how to do it.. i am useless..

I can't even just cut things out, and eat 3 meals a day i have to follow a diet..

Please help me
 
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#2
Hi Amethyst,

Sorry you're feeling so down on yourself.

As you're giving yourself such a hard time over portions of rice (on a green day, when it's a free food) I do wonder if you've been eating enough to really be 'following the plan'. Do you go to class? If not, perhaps this would be a good idea. The consultants are all well trained and it would give you someone to touch base with re your past eating disorder. If you are already attending class, maybe give your consultant a call for a chat about this if you don't want to speak to your GP.

The whole principle of SW revolves around eating enough syn free food to satisfy your hunger, raise your metabolism, keep you healthy, and protect you from temptation of high syn / less healthy food. This is going to be scary for you if you have issues about eating, and that is where the support network comes in.

I hope you feel better soon.

Beccy x
 
#3
:wave_cry::D:DHi there, I dont really have any advice for you, but felt I couldn't read your post without saying something!
Do you go to classes? Perhaps speaking to a SW consultant in private could help you? Doing the SW plan there are no restrictions! so as long as its a free food, enjoy it!! Dont feel guilty, I know its hard to get out of that mindset ( I should sometimes take my own advice!)

Do you exercise? That might help, exercising also releases happy endorphins which cant be bad!!:eek:

I do hope you was just having a bad day and you wake up feeling lots better today:D:eek:
Sending big hugs xx
 
#4
I don't have any advice but just wanted to post to show support. I hope you feel better about things today xxx
 
#5
Oh chicken, please don't feel bad - you've had one bad day. Forget about it now and move on - today is a new day.

There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to do EE and lose if you follow it properly. Just make sure that there are plenty of free and superfree foods at each meal and you won't feel hungry.

I know how frustrating it is when the weight doesn't fall off quickly, but it really is the best and safest way to lose if it's only a lb or 2 at a time. You are much more likely to stay at target when you get there.

My friend has just lost 2.5 stones on Cambridge, but she's already putting it back on after 2 weeks - like you said, the way you eat (or not!) means that as soon as you stop and eat 'normally' again, you start putting weight on. SW is so much more a healthy eating plan for life rather than a diet.

Plan yourself a few days worth of meals (and snacks) and try to stick to it if you can. You'll feel like you've really achieved something and I bet you'll lose :)

Take care xx
 

Julianne_julz

Bears dont dig on dancin'
#6
Hey Amethyst. Hope you are feeling a little better this morning. I don't have much advice really, just wanted to offer some *hugs* really. Are you eating enough free food during the day? I find that if I don't eat enough to start with then I want to pig out at dinner. It's a good start that you've come on here and not been sick.

I want to say that I know how you feel. Doesn't exactly help does it!? I've never made myself sick, but I have been so close to doing it, and hating myself for binging then thinking about doing that after. One of the reasons I started SW was to stop me binging on bad things. I find that planning the day ahead helps, plan lots of snacks between meals.

You can always come on here and talk. Maybe there should be an eating disorder support thread?

Sorry, i 've not really helped. *hug* xxx
 
#7
Hi Amethyst,

My sister is a recovering anorexic and my best friend is a binge-eater so I can totally sympathise with you here.

My sister resticts her intake to fruit, veg and salad all day long and then binges late at night on yogurt and fruit until she feels physically sick - as a result she has gained 1.5 stone and is totally freaking out but is so scared to eat anything other than salad and fruit all day in case she gains more.....vicious circle!

She went to the doctors and was on the waiting list for therapy for 9 months and it didnt help so she gave it up - I om working with her now to devise an eating plan she will be happy with but the vital thing is that she changes her eating habits!

You need to think about why you are doing it and try to attack the root cause of your binging. Put a picture up of how you want to look and try to clean your teeth or chew peppermint gum after eating a meal.

I dont know the answers and having never gone though it myself I feel crappy even trying to give advice but if you need support your definately in the right place with minimins.....is there another board on here you could try too???

Make sure you talk to your fiance about it too.....dont keep it secret.

Love and hugs REM
 
#8
Hey Hun...I hope that you are feeling better this morning. I used to eat to stuffed and then made myself sick to bring it all back...its not good..you know that.
What triggered this off again?? There has to be a reason and not just "because the food was there". Were you bored? Have you been upset by anything recently? These are things that you need to ask yourself in order to identify your trigger.
Please get help. You are doing so well, dont just admit defeat now, you have to be strong and fight against it.

Take care.
xxxx
 

Sticky

I will succeed!!!
#9
Aww honey!

How are you feeling today sweetie? I don't really know what to say to help you feel better but wanted you to know I am thinking of you. You're not useless either! Don't say that! You've lost 5lbs so far, which might not sound a lot to you but it's great! We all have blow outs and we all beat ourselves up, but I worry yours is hurting you more and if you have a history with EDs please be safe ok? I really don't know how to help other than be here and let you know I am, and everyone else is, here for you always - please take care honey xxxx
 
#10
Awe thanks so much for the replys, means alot to me.

I don't know whats triggering it off :(, I am in Wales till new year now OH is in Leic, i suppose thats alot to do with it, but i am always hungry, i am eating everything i am allowed but still starving, i mean my tummy is making the noises and everything. ? I have had my thyroid checked etc many times over the years all fine.. ?

Oh i don't know what to do, perhaps if i can post up the kinds of food i can afford etc, and see if someone can help me plan ahead?

I know i have gained prob about a stone with all the free foods (carbs), plus lastnights binge. I know its the carbs doing it to me. I can never loose weight that way!

I feel so fat, and am fed up of my parents taking the micky more my dad, he has lost 8 stone doing his own cutting out eating low carbish and cycling everywhere.. He calls me a fat b***h, i know he only messing but its affecting me.. And then My OH saying stop it, we getting married next year, You will regret it if you don't stop it!

What to do? I was going to meetings in Leic, i have only really missed one last week, but i will go see the other leader here i know her, but its in the morning and i have to take my little one to the doctors at the same time.. fingers crossed meeting will still be open...

Thanks again means alot
 
#11
I have started a diary in the diary section... Please have a look see what you think.. Can't work out weather today is a EE day or a green day... lol
 
#12
Amethyst - I'm gob smacked that your family are taking the mickey! Do they know the problems/issues you have been through?

I too have been checked for a thyroid problem - and evern WORMS! :) everything comes back clear yet I have to eat every 2-3 hours - and I mean really eat!! otherwise I get so moody and miserable and cant do anything! It's very strange but I have come to accept it is just me - having 2 kids has messed with my hormones etc I think.

When it comes to carbs how about making these swaps...
Millet instead of rice or couscous
Butternut squash in place of potatoes or sweet potato
Sweetcorn on cob instead of carb

You can also buy carb free pasta etc if that would help.

However - the point remains you need to get it under control somehow as you cant continue with distructive eating habits.

By the way I think you look gorgeous in your picture and your OH is a very lucky man :)
 
#13
Amethyst - I'm gob smacked that your family are taking the mickey! Do they know the problems/issues you have been through?

I too have been checked for a thyroid problem - and evern WORMS! :) everything comes back clear yet I have to eat every 2-3 hours - and I mean really eat!! otherwise I get so moody and miserable and cant do anything! It's very strange but I have come to accept it is just me - having 2 kids has messed with my hormones etc I think.

When it comes to carbs how about making these swaps...
Millet instead of rice or couscous
Butternut squash in place of potatoes or sweet potato
Sweetcorn on cob instead of carb

You can also buy carb free pasta etc if that would help.

However - the point remains you need to get it under control somehow as you cant continue with distructive eating habits.

By the way I think you look gorgeous in your picture and your OH is a very lucky man :)
Thankyou i feel the same way you do, have to eat every 2 hours or i am also miserable and very very irritable..

My Dad is just one of those guys who has a wicked S O H.. They don't know about my eating habits, i have mentioned it to my mum, but its like talking to a brick wall, i have always been the black sheep! never listened too..

But i am going to proove to myself i can do this..

Going to do green or EE day not sure its my food diary (plse take a look)..

Then as of tommorrow i will do red, when i been shopping for butternut sqaush etc.. found that quite tasty..

Thankyou :)
 
#14
Even though your Dad may have a wicked sense of humour Hun...he's got to know that these comments arent doing you any good at all.
My Dad used to do the same...calling me thunder thighs, but in the end I snapped and told him that unless he could say anything nice about me, I didnt want to know! He soon changed his ways as I made him understand exactly how much these things were hurting me dispite him saying them in "jest".

x
 
#15
Amethyst, I've just reread your post and it sounds very similar to me, BUT, please reread what you have written and you will see two really really positive things !!!!
1. You're filling up on free foods (in my book even if you had 3 bags of rice it's a million times better than stuff full of syns).
2. You didnt make yourself sick (seriously this is such a big positive because you didnt link the overeating to being sick as you used to (I used to too))

I'd say you're doing really well with those two big positives, please be kind to yourself and try to reassure yourself that you are doing well. Think how you'd respond to someone else who'd posted that they felt they'd overdone the free foods and not been sick, I bet you'd point out the positives to them too.

I hope you're feeling better about it all today hun x
 


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