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Really need to get this off my chest..

#1
It's really hard for me to write this, because I have been put on such a high pedestal by everyone around me, but I am struggling right now. I lost my way on Saturday (and found ice-cream, chocolate and crisps) and punished myself for 2 days before weigh-in with only fruit and an evening meal. After weighing-in on Tuesday and miraculously still losing 2.5lbs, I vowed to pull my head out of my ar$e and get my usual 100% focus back. Well, yesterday it all went to pot again. I'm so scared that I haven't learned anything, and that I will end up re-gaining what I have lost or not get to my goal. Everyone around me is so very proud of me and constantly telling me what an inspiration I am and right now I really need some help. Unfortunately, I don't feel like I can reach out to anyone because I don't want to disappoint them. I'm under a lot of stress right now with school holidays, having both mine and my OH's kids here, money issues, I'm in pain with ovarian cysts and endometriosis and, honestly, I feel like I am so overwhelmed by everything. It seems almost second-nature to appease any feelings with food.. and that just starts a guilt cycle that I have spent months working on. I haven't eaten anything yet today, and I desperately want to re-hone my focus right here, RIGHT NOW.. I just wanted to vent a little X
 
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S: 26st12lb C: 24st2lb G: 15st0lb BMI: 43.4 Loss: 2st10lb(10.11%)
#2
I can totally relate to what you are saying hon, i recently found out i was being made redundant and that sent me into a bit of a tailspin for 2 weeks during which i gained about 8lbs but what i did was got it out of my system and decided on a day (not on the spur of the moment, in fact i decided on a thursday that i would get myself back on it on the following monday) that i would get back on plan and fully focus, that was a week ago on last monday and my first week back on it i lost the weight i had gained plus a bit and am looking like 2-3lb loss this week so it can be done and you just need to get your head straight again.

Fingers crossed for you and i hope you get yourself sorted out!

It's really hard for me to write this, because I have been put on such a high pedestal by everyone around me, but I am struggling right now. I lost my way on Saturday (and found ice-cream, chocolate and crisps) and punished myself for 2 days before weigh-in with only fruit and an evening meal. After weighing-in on Tuesday and miraculously still losing 2.5lbs, I vowed to pull my head out of my ar$e and get my usual 100% focus back. Well, yesterday it all went to pot again. I'm so scared that I haven't learned anything, and that I will end up re-gaining what I have lost or not get to my goal. Everyone around me is so very proud of me and constantly telling me what an inspiration I am and right now I really need some help. Unfortunately, I don't feel like I can reach out to anyone because I don't want to disappoint them. I'm under a lot of stress right now with school holidays, having both mine and my OH's kids here, money issues, I'm in pain with ovarian cysts and endometriosis and, honestly, I feel like I am so overwhelmed by everything. It seems almost second-nature to appease any feelings with food.. and that just starts a guilt cycle that I have spent months working on. I haven't eaten anything yet today, and I desperately want to re-hone my focus right here, RIGHT NOW.. I just wanted to vent a little X
 

Dominoid

Likes cheese
S: 18st7lb C: 14st10.5lb Loss: 3st10.5lb(20.27%)
#3
You're only human, you will have days when you want to eat shortly. The key thing is that you know it's not the way to go on a daily basis because you've said as such. You've also proved that you CAN still lose weight after slipping off the rails a bit so don't beat yourself up. People won't feel bad about you not being a saint, it's not about being 100%, it's the end product. The people I look up to who have lost loads more than me have had bad days but I still look up to them because they've lost loads, even if it was a little spiky loss from time to time. If the overall trend is downwards then a little variation is fine; it's the inverse of stocks and shares!

"punishing" yourself seems counter intuitive to me, I would say if you've done well, you've earnt an off day so take it and just resume normal eating within your plan from the next day.
 
#4
Thank you both for your responses. I am definitely kicking myself up the bum at the moment.. and, more importantly, reminding myself how important this is to me. X
 

stivesliz

Gold Member
S: 17st5lb C: 11st4lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 25.5 Loss: 6st1lb(34.98%)
#5
It's really hard for me to write this, because I have been put on such a high pedestal by everyone around me, but I am struggling right now. I lost my way on Saturday (and found ice-cream, chocolate and crisps) and punished myself for 2 days before weigh-in with only fruit and an evening meal. After weighing-in on Tuesday and miraculously still losing 2.5lbs, I vowed to pull my head out of my ar$e and get my usual 100% focus back. Well, yesterday it all went to pot again. I'm so scared that I haven't learned anything, and that I will end up re-gaining what I have lost or not get to my goal. Everyone around me is so very proud of me and constantly telling me what an inspiration I am and right now I really need some help. Unfortunately, I don't feel like I can reach out to anyone because I don't want to disappoint them. I'm under a lot of stress right now with school holidays, having both mine and my OH's kids here, money issues, I'm in pain with ovarian cysts and endometriosis and, honestly, I feel like I am so overwhelmed by everything. It seems almost second-nature to appease any feelings with food.. and that just starts a guilt cycle that I have spent months working on. I haven't eaten anything yet today, and I desperately want to re-hone my focus right here, RIGHT NOW.. I just wanted to vent a little X
Aw bless you - really feel for you here and I can say ''I've been there''!
I lost 4 stone last year and was losing really good amounts every week but as soon as I got that award I started to lose the plot. I have a really hectic life and in some ways , my time with SW is a good distraction from it, but sometimes it just overwhelms me and I go mad. If I had a bad week I would have members come up to me and say things like ''hey you, get back on it'' and ''dont put all that weight back on'' etc etc and instead of motivating me, I would really resent their 'help'.

You are doing this for YOU , and sometimes our mind just isn't in the right place. I am either really good or really naughty and there is no happy medium.

Without sounding a bit sickly and cheesy here - I think we all need to love ourselves a bit more and also forgive ourselves when things don't quite go the way we planned - and I am including myself in that 'we' xxxx
 
#6
It helps so much to know that people can really relate to what I am feeling. Thank you, sincerely, for taking the time to write that. I am a master (mistress?) of self-loathing and, really, I guess I am most upset at the horrible way I can think/talk about myself. I really do need to learn to love myself, and take some of the advice I give to others.
I have a long way to go, but I've also come a long way. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.
X
 

stivesliz

Gold Member
S: 17st5lb C: 11st4lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 25.5 Loss: 6st1lb(34.98%)
#7
well looking at your stats you are doing brilliantly!!

It's lovely when people notice we have lost weight, but not so good when they comment on everything too. I get the whole pedestal bit - I am one of the biggest losers in my group and sometimes everyone expects me to be a mine of info and recipes and be really good all the time, when in effect, like the lady above said, we're all only human!

x
 

boncuk

Full Member
S: 124.5kg C: 120.2kg G: 80kg BMI: 37.5 Loss: 4.3kg(3.46%)
#8
Hi Pickle,

Everyone is right you are only human and its only natural to fall off the rails every now and then, cos lets be honest how many slim people dont have a day when they pig out on icecream and chocolate, I know all my slim friends do!! But we have that day and we move on from it, i saw written down the other day that if you had a bunch of roses and one of them went bad would you throw the whole bunch away, no you wouldnt you would take that rose out and bin it, but keep looking at the other beautiful roses that are left.

No one if perfect, but we are doing this to make ourselves healthier and in theory, happier, have your good days and bad days, as long as the good outweigh the bad and you are changing your lifestyle for the better then no one can expect anymore from you.

Good luck chuck :) xxxx
 
S: 16st13lb C: 15st11lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 34.6 Loss: 1st2lb(6.75%)
#9
Hi Pickle

Ah hon you are doing fantastic. dont be so hard on yourself. You are only doing what everyone else everywhere does and turning to a little comfort when times are tough. What you have learned though from doing this is that it is just a little turn for comfort and you have to turn away from it again and deal with the hard times differently. Its sooooo easy to go back to bad habits but you have come too far for that. My God reading your stats you are doing so well. Shake it off as a distant memory and hop on board the wagon again. You are changing your life for the better and thats what matters.

best of luck
xx
 
S: 10st10.5lb C: 10st0lb G: 9st6lb BMI: 23.3 Loss: 0st10.5lb(6.98%)
#10
i agree, everyone has off days (in fact lately i am having more off days than on days). yesterday i ate an entire bar of galaxy - a large one (and had already had my syns for the day).

i think the prob u had was you had a few days of naughtiness but rather than draw a line under it you almost starved yourself to make up for the excess you ate. By doing that you turned slimming world (which clearly works as it is) into the traditional diet of calorie restriction. By reducing your calories as soon as you went stopped ur craved the high fat food.

just draw a line under it, forget what u did wrong the last few days. start today as a new day, plan your food and allow treats. its the school hols so have treats (solero is only 4.5 syns, mini twisters are only 2.5 syns) - have a picnic with the kids and add some free stuff for you.

avoid biscuits unless ucan stop at 2 (i definitely cant) - if u need to buy biscuits for the kids but ones you dont like (eg pink wafers - i hate them lol) and if u need crisps get a multipack of things like wotsits or something similar which are only 5 syns. accept school holidays are hard (eveyone says so at our group) and dont be too har on yourself.

i feel similar, i tried so hard in pregnancy not to gain too much. i was really pleased and after my first weigh in after having the baby i was only a stone above target. but i seem to have lost my way. i just want to eat rubbish (even if i eat lots of healthy food i eat rubbish on top of it, probs eating more than if i only ate rubbish). i know its a blip, am just trying my best and going to group to get the support. my little boy is only 4 weeks so i cant be too harsh on myself.
 

donna88

Gold Member
S: 11st3.0lb C: 10st8.0lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 26.2 Loss: 0st9lb(5.73%)
#11
Everyone has off days and even weeks, don't beat yourself up about it! As long as you don't slip into bad habits all the time we're all allowed a naughty day or two... I think sometimes we need them!

I'd try and talk to someone around you, I'm sure they wouldn't be disappointed in you. You won't gain all the weight you've lost either, your too determined not too, you've had a few bad days, but that's nothing compared to what you've already achieved.

I can understand how you're feeling, its hard when we're stressed. What are the doctors doing about you're cysts? I have one as well so I know how painful they can be, mines on and off, can go for weeks or months without feeling anything and then all of a sudden it knocks me for 6, its been mentioned that I can have it removed but I'm not sure if I want to have surgery. Gutted though as while I have it I can't give blood :( I've been put on a 6 month break at least from it.
 


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