Scarletts Journey.. all the ups and downs...its starts here.

Scarlett

Full Member
Hi all,

I wanted to start a diary/record of my journey on CD, and history of dieting so far... not expecting folks to read and post (but if they do, all are welcome!!).. this is something I really want to do almost as therapy for me and to keep me on track.

So where to begin... I am 30 and have struggled with weight my entire life and a love/comfort found in food and yummy tastes wether happy or sad! I remember my first realisation that I was chubby/overweight when I was 5, and being compared to my beanpole shaped cousin of the same age and even through primary/secondary school had numerous transformations/diet experiences, mostly then through sensible eating, and a short-lived obsession with cross country aged 14, when I realised I may not be the quickest, but had a lot of stamina and determination. Despite these challenges I had a happy childhood. I had an amazing mum (sadly died in 2006) who constantly told me I was beautiful. At 17, I met the love of my life who I am still with. Weight-wise I was ok, thought I was horrifically fat but actually was around 11.5 stone, and as I am 5 foot 7 thats not too bad!! Would kill to be that now!! At 19 after 2 years of living together, my dieting started on overdrive... weighing 13.5 stone I started going to Rosemary C classes with a mate. Within 6 months I lost 4 stone, down to a super-skinny 9.5 stone and felt amazing. I didnt exactly follow the diet to the letter, and definitely got a bit obsessed with the low fat eating (existing on weightwatchers soup to lose the last 7 pounds) but I felt on top of the world. For the first time I was a size 12 on the bottom and 8 on top (I am a typical pear shape!!) and me and my love were very happy and got engaged. Gradually the weight went back on... well not that gradually. Within 2 years I was back up to 14 stone, then back to 12 stone for my wedding.

Since then, you name it, I have tried it. Slimming pills (lost 4 stone regained) Weightwatchers (lost 1 stone, never really stuck to it long term) until in 2007 I tried Cambridge. And loved it. When I started I was at an all time high at 15.5 stone, grieving for the loss of my mum, and trying to look after my dad. First time round I found it really easy after the first few days.. and got down to 11 stone, and looked and felt good.

I honestly look back and don't know how I let things get so out of control. I came off CD, not following the plans as was travelling with work, and... to be honest went slightly mad with food. Like a kid in a sweetshop. Despite my inability to maintain, I think CD is a brilliant plan and have seen it work for so many others. Sitting here at the start of 2009, I am at an all time low. Since the loss of mum, my close family has changed so much. Dad has a new partner, and my only sibling lives overseas. I feel very lonely. My hubby has always been my constant, my rock. Last month I found some overtly flirty texts on his phone and have discovered some things which break my heart. We are still together, but at 16.5 stone, my self esteem and relationship are at an all time low.

But the only way is up (as Yazz sang!).

Tomorrow I restart CD with a mammoth 6 stone to lose, and my well-being and relationship to save. I will update on here, how I am doing and maybe share some other bits from my life also. I'm not looking for sympathy or the violins... any advice or thoughts welcome.
 
Scarlett, you can do it. What a tough few years you've had honey... I do understand, lost my lovely Dad in 2007 and now look after my elderly mum while trying to cope with a very full-on job. My solution was not to lose weight, but to comfort eat... life seemed to be spiralling way out of control and I guess I resorted to the patterns I'd learned so well over the years, feeding a hunger that had nothing to do with food.
In November 08 I hit rock bottom (& the scales hit the heights). I was also feeling exhausted, depressed & ill. I found CD and the break from food - and bingeing - has been a lifesaver for me.
I think lots of us here will admire your honesty Scarlett and understand your sadness, confusion and loneliness. Be brave - and do this for yourself.
We are here for you honey. No violins, but plenty of hugs.
xx
 
Hi Scarlet, I've been through a lot in the past few years and ate for all the wrong reasons and ballooned up to size 20. I am a comfort eater. My dad died 11 yrs ago when my son was critical in the hospital. I am the youngest of 4 siblings and was so close to my dad.
I admire your honesty and be brave. You can and will do it. we have lovely bunch of CDers here. sending you lot of cyber hugs.
 
Back
Top