Self Sabotage

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by tara40, 12 October 2010 Social URL.

  1. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    I was in the kitchen stuffing my mouth with white chocolate buttons / minstrel type things, and then i thought to myself "why am i doing this".
    I go to group every week, leave there positive and then it goes downhill.
    I was speaking to DH and he said why do i sabotage myself, so i sat and thought about it.
    I honestly think that I am scared to loose the weight and then put it back on. Also say i loose the weight and then dont look better.
    What do people think, I would be grateful for any comments and feedback.
     
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  3. meadowbankles

    meadowbankles Silver Member

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    I don't really have any constructive advice to offer as I regularly find myself with my finger stuck firmly on my self-destruct button.
    Do you think it would help to have a photo of yourself in the kitchen for motivation? I know you say you're frightened you won't look better (you know you will really!), maybe look at it from a health point of view instead?
     
  4. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    I am doing it mostly for health as my nan and mum have both had type 2 diabetes. no need for a picture as i just have to look at myself in the mirror to see how awful i look.
    thanks for your comments though.
     
  5. meadowbankles

    meadowbankles Silver Member

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    Oh you sound really down :( Looking at your stats, I bet you don't look any near as bad as you think you do. I wish I could come out with some pearl of wisdom to help you with this. :confused:
     
  6. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    I feel really down when i go to class and someone has only been there for 3 months and has lost 2 stone, i think it should be me. hmm.
     
  7. meadowbankles

    meadowbankles Silver Member

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    God, tell me about it. There's a bloke at my class, started a couple of weeks after me. I've lost 8lb. He's lost FOUR FREAKIN' STONE. I was posting on here last week about just throwing in the towel, but then my weight will spiral out of control. Hang on in there. I know it seems hard sometimes when everybody else is having more success than you, but you can do it. You can.
     
  8. suespain

    suespain Loves living in the sun

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    When I lost 4 stone, I thought I didn't look any different after all the effort (all though people told me I did). However took some photos off of a computer when I was at 16st 10, what a difference!

    So to remind me I had a fridge magnet made up of me at 16.10st with a heading "16 st 10 lbs NEVER AGAIN" and its on my fridge to remind me. I know I NEVER want to look like that ever again.

    I have my bad days, but then we are human and it was food that got me like it in the first place, but I now know that I can have a bit of bad food in moderation, draw the line and start again. So long as the ibs come off, thats what counts.

    I feel so much better having less weight and I like the clothes I can now buy!

    Sue
     
  9. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    thanks, so can you xx
     
  10. clairex

    clairex Silver Member

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    I am exactly the same. I think the key is to allow yourself some treats so you don't feel deprived. if you fancy some chocolate, have it, but syn it! Make sure you know how many syns it is BEFORE you eat it - make a note of it - that way its not self sabotage, its just a part of the plan! You've done the hardest bit hun, you've gone to class, you're making really positive steps to becoming healthier and happier. Focus on YOU and YOUR journey. Keep a diary in the food diary section, when you write down everything you are eating you will see how much your eating habits have changed and how well you are doing.
    And although excercise seems the worst idea in the world when you are feeling down, it will boost your weightloss and will boost you're endorphins which make you feel happier. Even if its just a walk! Good luck hun, You're doing fab!! xxxxx
     
  11. Als71

    Als71 Full Member

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    I think old habits just really just do die hard. I've been thinking about this too - mainly how to make sure this is the last time I restart. Each time I set out (and there have been sooooo many times) I work out how quickly I could get to target if I lost an average of 1 or 2lb a week and just can't understand why I've been trying to lose the same 2 - 3 stone for YEARS! Its so frustrating.

    Totally agree with clairex that the key is not to deprive yourself. We need to learn new habits and introduce some balance. SW is great in that it encourages you to eat fresh healthy food for the most part and then to also have treats - whatever we like - but in moderation.

    I think the other thing is to not be so hard on ourselves when we do have an occasional lapse. Put it down to experience, maybe try to understand if there was any particular trigger for it that we can use to arm ourselves and better prepare for that situation next time, put it behind us and get back on with it.

    You can do it - we all can x
     
  12. chris_s

    chris_s Less of a man each day

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    When you go to class, stuff everyone else (in a nice way of course). You are there for you!

    There must be some motivation there for you to be going :) just got to dig in deep and drag it out some more.

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that. Easy to say I know. The bottom line is when you look in the mirror you don't like what you see and you want to do something about that and more importantly you want to do it for the right reasons, health and happiness :)

    You leave the group with positivity, that's good. Motivation pulling out a bit more :)

    Look at and address what happens between the WI's.

    Step at a time, take little paces as they are easier to maintain and while you might see people striding ahead, they'll soon be lagging by the wayside while you plod along :)

    What's in your cupboards? Time to take stock and get rid of the bad stuff.

    Treats and Syns. Now they are fine but and it's a big but. Moderation and self control is the key.
    I was always of the, if it's in the house i'll eat it. So for me to start with I would not have the Syn type treats about and when having them on plan would walk to the shop and get just what I needed. Freddo, Magic Elf, Buttons etc... and if my fix was part of a multipack i'd get the smallest one possible and then put it at the back of the cupboard with a big note on saying summat like 'Hey are you sure, look in the mirror'.

    I've adjusted to being able to keep stocks around without binging, but even now it can take great effort and self control. Curse the bogof offers, just make it all cheap!

    Being scared to loose weight for reasons given is understandable. I'd suggest trying to rationalise in your mind why to do it and not sabotage yourself. For example If you don't try it you'll never know, where as you will no nothing will change if you don't. View some of the other factors. Do you feel better eating well, sod the mirror. How do you feel about it inside? Looks aside how does it impact your health? So what if sometimes it goes up as well as down, we're looking at the long haul and a trend downwards.

    I can guarentee that if you loose weight it will become noticeable, it may take a little time but it will happen. Your body density is a fairly fixed variable and so when you loose weight you will loose mass/size. Honestly.

    Good luck, have a rant and use these boards for support. It's what they were designed for.
     
  13. Neveragain

    Neveragain Full Member

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    I used to stand in the kitchen with the fridge door open, leaning against the counter and pick and eat whatever was in the fridge and i had no reason why i did it. But now I have made sure i put chop fruit into a bowl in the fridge and i stand and eat that while im thinking of something to eat or snack on, after a couple of hands full of fruit (still thinking) im full and i close the door cos I have filled that hole, I have eaten something, which is free (so i feel good) but also i have physically gone through the motion of still standing in the kitchen eating but its healthier. I also decorate the fridge with the certificates i have gotten from slimming world to help me aswell and also stuck the slimming world shopping bag on my fridge, to make me get that slimmer of the week again and get that bag. To me its like smokers, when they quit, they miss the hand action of putting the cigarette in their mouth and out, I think of it in the same way, I miss the sensation of standing there in kitchen and munch. so when smokers use the fake plastic stick to help them I use a bowl of fruit, close the fridge and walk away.
     
  14. Divster

    Divster Banned

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    I am scared to lose weight too Tara, which is why I am dragging my heals now!

    As I am losing now, I find my stomach is going to be left with alot of excess skin. I had my 3rd cs 5 months ago, and they took out a patch of stretched skin, 3 inches wide by 10 inches long, which has now left a horrid puckering at the sides. I just know that is going to look worse as I lose weight :(

    I also cant seem to lose weight in nice big chunks like other people, I want to feel slim now! Sounds silly, but sometimes think they cant be doing sw if they are losing lots of weight! I know they are, but I deep down really dont trust the plan.

    I worry about other things about being slim as well
     
  15. Divster

    Divster Banned

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    I am also still hurt that someone thought I was a size 24, when I am a size 18-20! Its really set my tone for the week, I know I shouldnt let them get to me like this, but I am sensertive.

    Sorry Tara, I have done nothing to help you, but at least you know you are not alone!
     
  16. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    no thanks to everyones reply. you have helped alot. and like you i have had 3 cs and will also have the skin problem. i was told that you can ask for a tummy tuck after having sections on the NHS, but i dont know how true that is.

    thank you. will try to do small steps.
     
  17. Divster

    Divster Banned

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    I think its because they gave me half a tummy tuck only, as that skin was too thin to stitch back together! Instead of taking the skin from hip to hip, which they wouldnt bother to do during a cs. Really not sure I could take the pain of more surgery!

    Maybe things wont be so bad when we get there, or maybe we wont care? :D xx
     
  18. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    put on a massive amount this week. I have drawn a line under it and have moved on. I am trying to be positive for next wi.
     
  19. Divster

    Divster Banned

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    Come on Tara, you really can do this, you can. You know you want to ;) xx

    ps are you on fb, if so feel free to add me, link above my picture :D
     
  20. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    Thanks, i sent request on Facebook.
    I made a huge pot of veg soup to have if i am feeling peckish at home.
     
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