So emotional

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by Kellybeeb, 4 March 2009 Social URL.

  1. Kellybeeb

    Kellybeeb Full Member

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    I've been sobbing for the last 30 mins (some of it on my bus home) im so emotional today its unreal.

    I really want to have kids have done since i was 15 been with my partner since i was 16 and in september it will be our 5 year anniversery...but loads of women are either pregnant or having kids at the minute and its made me very broody so me and my partner had the conversation, that ended in him saying once your implant comes out in feb 2011 we will think about it!!!

    Now i know i want to lose loads of weight before i think about it but that isnt the only issue, we have had so many credit cards and then got loans to get rid of them that we owe the bank over 10,000 on top of morgage and bills, now im on a 14,000 a yr job and he is on 15,000 so we cant afford to pay more than min payments, so i've worked out all the stupid spending in the last 5 years has gone on nothing meaningful and i have pretty much made sure im not going to be able to afford to have kids for at least another 5 years..

    I am absolutly heartbroken i cant imagine waiting that long for having children and its all my fault :cry:
     
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  3. Jambro

    Jambro Full Member

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    Hope you are ok now hun?
    If we all waited until we were finaancially sound before we had kids there probably would'nt be any!!!
    People manage if its what they want.
    In the scheme of things 10 grand isn't really that much.
    I'm sure its alot to you of course, but some people owe alot more than that me included!!!
    My motto is they can't have what you ain't got.
    And of course there is alot of financial help for families with children who work.
    On a lighter note...I have a 2 1/2yr old daughter if you want to borrow her!!!
    chin up xx
     
  4. Kellybeeb

    Kellybeeb Full Member

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    I dont know if its just a mood im in but everything just seems very dire at the moment when. This just feels like yet another stab in the heart, we dont ever have money spare and if we do it seems to just go on nothing, my partner is a all or nothing sort of a person and he wont have kids until we have no debt.

    I always thought i would have a kid by now, i think it might be the realisation that life is never as good as you think its going to be as a kid.
     
  5. Angelmouse77

    Angelmouse77 Full Member

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    Aw hun ((((hugs)))) this may not help but your both still young and people change hugely with time. Your partner may change how he feels in time, and as Jambro posted if you waited for the perfect time to start a family most wouldnt.
    Maybe have a nice long bath a good cry.
    take care xx
     
  6. Purple Hugs

    Purple Hugs Loves weight.. training!

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    I certainly wouldn't have any children if I waited till we had the money.. we thought we had it covered till the price of nursery fee's became apparant ;) I was 3 months pregnant then! Ooops! :p

    One thing I will say, if you need help financially - from a charity that aren't going to charge you or sell you another loan.. google the consumer credit counselling service. :) They're fantastic for helping assess your situation, and positive action :) That you can afford.

    You are never alone in these fears.. just remember that. ((hugs)) we have all been there and many millions are in the same position with wages and outgoings.. great thing is that you still have a job! :)
     
  7. m85912

    m85912 Only a few more pounds...

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    Hiya, sorry to hear you're going through a lot- I know how you feel. I lost my baby in January, I was 16wks pregnant and it was overwhelming and joyful when I found out I was expecting. You should speak with your partner about what you want and reach a mutual understanding with your financial commitments and seek further help from charities/citizens advice etc etc- maybe they could get you on a payment plan where interest is frozen/reduced etc. Diet wise, I think you should stick it out. It'd make you feel better when you lose weight - I was still dieting when I found out I was expecting and it does help to lose weight if you want to have a baby. Good luck with everything. xxx
     
  8. Amyeve

    Amyeve Mummy of 2!

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    hi chick, sorry you feel so low gosh you almost made me cry:(

    as has already been said, LOADS of littuns wouldnt of been born if everyone waited to afford them! OH & me were in debt before Eve came along. She wasnt planned but a nice surprise. for various reasons i stopped working early on and we struggled on 1 wage but we managed! and so will you!!
     
  9. Kellybeeb

    Kellybeeb Full Member

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    I really want to struggle you know? i know that sounds weird but i know a baby will make me feel complete, i want to lose this weight first or im jus going to look like jaba the hunt! I have discussed with my OH looking for a new job i think he has realised how serious i am about having a baby knowing its not just me being a bit broody.

    M85912 im so sorry to hear about your loss its really inspiring you picking yourself up the way you have i dont think i could.
     
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