So far O/T it's ridiculous....anyone got 3 kids?

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by kjs1628, 7 January 2009 Social URL.

  1. kjs1628

    kjs1628 Surely....

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    Just interested to talk to people with 3 kids to see their views...

    DH and I always intended to have 3 kids. Always. BUT, now we've got 2, and the youngest is coming up to 2, we're hesitating about it. We have a boy and a girl, both absolutely delicious, full of love and life, and pretty well behaved. We have a great life together; we adore our kids but still manage to make each other the priority (which was not so true when baby was first born). We have a good support network and are able to have a weekend or two away a year without the kids. We have managed financially, never been on the breadline, but are looking forward to having a bit of extra cash in the pocket when son goes to school in September.

    In some ways, the pleasures of our life make me think we should have another child, so that we can share our good fortune. In others, I think 'what if having another baby upsets the apple cart': we would have another 2 or 3 years of less money; we wouldn't be able to rely on other people so heavily; we would be knackered again!

    Any advice anyone? I'd love to hear from people who do have more than 2 kids. For us, having our first was a piece of pleasurable cake, and our second (to begin with) a nightmare. How is it 3rd time round? Do your kids play together well? (I am worried about spending my days wittling about who's being left out by who).....

    Sorry it's so far off track, but I don't know who else to ask about this. I know it's our decision, and ours alone but I'd be interested to hear other people's experiences.

    Thank you....
     
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  3. kjs1628

    kjs1628 Surely....

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    Plus, I might get fat again....yikes!
     
  4. PinkDaisy

    PinkDaisy Banned

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    I always advise make urself happy! My dad always told me no matter what life throws at you financially or any other way you always find a way of getting through it and making best of it.

    Good luck hunny x
     
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  5. tasha2000

    tasha2000 Full Member

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    Hi, i have three kids, my son is 8, my daughter is 16 months and my newest daughter is 3 months...
    after i had my son i thought i would never have another child again, i was quite young (23) and his birth was difficult...
    i look back now laughing at that!!
    When i found out i was pregnant with my first daughter I was delighted... though like you the first few months were very hard..
    I chose to get pregnant very quickly again because i didnt want to have another 'only' child ifykwim, the 8 year gap is big and I always felt for my son when i saw him play football by himself!!
    I have to say that although it has been difficult, and i havent had any time for me recently, my family feels complete at three... sometimes it is a logistical nightmare getting in and out the car, and dont talk to me about laundry!!!!!!!!
    I have never thought about having babies in financial terms ifykwim, i grew up in abject poverty but am still a good person and still have oppurtunities... my kids will always have enough, maybe not everything, but who wants to give their kids everything anyway??
    The weight has been a big issue.. after my son i managed to loose the baby weight.. after my first daughter i was huge, and getting pregnant three months later means now i am doubly huge, but, as weight is gained, so too can it be lost!!!! (my belly is a disaster!!)
    Good luck with whatever you decide, you will know if your family feels complete deep down and go with that gut feeling without thinking about finances or weight.. two things that can change very easily, however regretting having or not having a child can last a lifetime!! x
     
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  6. kjs1628

    kjs1628 Surely....

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    I know. I am so scared of wishing I had.....

    I think we had more or less decided no more, but we keep coming back to it, which makes me wonder if deep down we don't feel like we've finished....
     
  7. suepat10

    suepat10 I am one of the 63336

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    You can borrow my 10 year old horror for a while (about 8 years) if you want to see what it would be like :8855:
     
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  8. Irene

    Irene Silver Member

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    Hi
    I have 2 boys now teenagers and as soon as the second was born I was so broody not to have a girl or anything like that however youngest was harder worker than our first and the feeling passed.
    What tasha has said is so lovely.
    Irene
     
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  9. Madferret

    Madferret Mad as a Hatter

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    I think... and this is only my opinion, that only you can make the decision to have any more kids.
    I was more the other way... I have been married 3 times, and I'm only 39, but I didn't have my boys until I was with my 3rd husband. We had our first boy after 2 years of marriage and it was tough, he was born at 39 weeks when I nearly died with pre-eclampsia... I never wanted hubby anywhere near me again never mind have any more babies.. anyway when 1st born was 2.5 years old, OH said that he didn't want him to be an only one as it was selfish... so I relented. 2nd pregnancy was fine, born by c section at 39 weeks -all ok... BUT
    I had myself sterilised during the birth... I am 39 and I know that I do not want any more kids.. However Hubby is only 35, on his first marriage and heaven forbid if anything went wrong, I would hate to think that he would not be able to have anymore children...ie if he had a vasectomy..
    call me callous or whatever but at least I have left him with the option..

    Sorry for the long post -not like me at all, but I felt like I had to respond !

    Hope I haven't offended anyone ??
     
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  10. kjs1628

    kjs1628 Surely....

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    lol. Does the fact that I'm thinking 'no thanks' answer my own question?!!!
     
  11. gillybeans

    gillybeans want to be me again ...

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    I am a granny now but had 2 very close then lost the indulgence baby later in life ...its always a struggle but i believe in fate and if its meant to be it will .....enjoy your babies but dont rule out more if it happens you will manage ..if its not mean to be ..well look forward to the grandkids ... much love to you both xxxxx
     
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  12. SpaceAngel

    SpaceAngel I ate my willpower!

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    I have 3 girls and had a miscarriage in April. We are now thinking about trying for number 4. My girls are 10, 7 and 2 so they are fairly spaced out. My 10 yr old is a really good help too. Only down side is you need to have a 7 seater!
     
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  13. bettylollypop

    bettylollypop soon to be skinny minnie

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    I agree with what others have said, it is entirely up to you, it is a descision only you and your oh can make. I have a 7yr old boy and a 10mth old girl. After my boy and a terrible 2 day labour i decided i would never have another, then after a couple of years i decided i didn't want him to be an only child so we started trying for a baby. We knew it was a girl and during my pregnancy i decided i might like a third, and the birth of my daughter was so easy, i gave birth in under an hour with no pain relief or anything. I thought to myself that was no bother and i could easily do it again. However my boy was fabby as a baby, he slept 12 hour nights from birth, was never sick etc ha daughter is a different story, so determined, in at everything , up all through the night etc. My son also was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes so i have realised that it is hard work with 2. I love them both very much and they are both great in their own ways, they are so different but i love their little differences. So i have decided that i don't want another baby , i have my boy and my girl and i couldn't ask for more, my little family is complete.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do x
     
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  14. nannydi

    nannydi wants a new body

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    i have three boys aged 16,14 and 12 and they are all special needs, would i change it nah!
    i am one of three, my ex was one of three!
    my hubby is one of 4 and he has four daughters!


    if you wait till you can afford it you'll never have any more lol, any amount of kids is a financial strain on the wallet but they more than worth it!

    at the end of the day though only you and hubby can make the decision to have another child unless there is gonna be three of you at the conception lol
    go with your heart!
    xxxxxxxx
     
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  15. marea_8

    marea_8 Full Member

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    Hi,
    I have 3 boys, 12, 7 and 5, love them to bits, i had a stillbirth with my second pregnancy, it was a girl, and ever since my first pregnancy , my hubby and i always wanted a girl, so we kept trying, i do feel broody now,i would love another, but i feel its unfair to my boys, i wouldn't have time for them, sometimes i wonder what life would be like to have 2!(i think it would be very easy with just 2) I feel horrible saying that now! I DO love my holy terror 5 yr old!! I would have stopped at 2 if it was a boy and a girl!(going on holiday would be easier!!;oP
     
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  16. princessria

    princessria is a pirate arrrgggghhhh

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    i understand what your saying bout the leaving out i don't have kids but i do have a sister who is 6 year older than me and were extremely close i'm not sure if the dynamics would be the same if we had grown up with another child. on the plus side though my best friend is one of three girls and they are all really really close about four years between them the crazy woman and they live within three streets of each other i guess it depends on the personality of your kids! if it happens hon just let it happen.
     
  17. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    On the other hand...my Brother has 4 children and the other day I over heard his eldest who is 6 said to the 2nd one who is 5...."can you remember when it was just you and me?" That tugged a few heart strings!
    I only have the one at the moment and want to get the weight down to a healthy area before trying again. I was 16stone when fell pregnant with my Daughter and gained 5.5 stone!!!! eeek!!!
    It is entirely your decision Hun, but also speak to your children...yes, things will be a little hectic to begin with, but we all have a remarkable ability to get on with whatever is thrown our way.
     
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  19. SpaceAngel

    SpaceAngel I ate my willpower!

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    My 3 are very close even though they are nearly 11, 7 and nearly 3. My eldest 2 watch the same programmes and do girly stuff together, but my middle girl also still loves the tv programmes that the youngest loves too. But all 3 of them play cooking games and dressing up etc.

    I have no doubt that a 4th will fit in just nicely. In fact it would probably make it easier because the eldest 2 can go off and do their thing whilst the youngest 2 will more than likely have more in common and play together in that respect.

    But at the end of the day, it really is a decision that only you and your hubby can make. Good luck x
     
  20. kjs1628

    kjs1628 Surely....

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    I know it's our choice, I just wanted to hear from people who had 3....but not a lot clearer to be honest....

    It's a nice thought that we could just let nature take its course, but i don't have the right mentality for that - if I'm trying, I'm trying!

    I really like the idea of having 3 adults coming to visit when we're older, and I quite fancy having a baby in my arms, I just don't know if we can handle another person without making some fairly radical changes to lifestyle etc... Maybe I've answered my own question really...

    Thanks to everyone who's responded. Your support, as always, is much appreciated.x
     
  21. rainbow

    rainbow Gold Member

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    I dont have kids, but would love to have some soon, and threes my ideal, I know it doesn't work like that, but if I could wish, then it'd be three I want! If anything was to put me off having three it would be the financial strain (prob for me Id be better off staying at home full time rather than paying three lots of nursery/childcare fee's) not that Im having children for someone else to look after them - but Id want to go back to work. Would a third have too share a bedroom? I know lots of children share a bedroom happily, but I wouldn't want mine to, Id want them to have ther own space XXX
     
  22. mfinnis

    mfinnis Full Member

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    Hi...I thought I would always have 3....don't know why - its just one of those things...we even moved to a 4 bed house 2 years ago so that if we did have another they would have their own room.....but now.....no chance....not interested.....done with babies! (stopping at 2!!!!)

    Not in a horrible callous way or anything....is just that our priorities have changed.....our youngest is now 3 and I can start to see light at the end of the tunnel in getting my life back.....being able to go out more as a couple.....who knows maybe even a holiday together without the kids in a few more years.....my mum has told me in no uncertain terms that she would have 2 to look after for a few days but def not 3.....

    I love my kids to bits and I think personally that our family unit works.......we may well change our minds in a few more years....who knows....but for now its 2!
     
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