So, my driving licence is up for renewal...

[sa84bry]

...at the end of this year, and I'm determined to have slimmed down enough so that I don't have yet another one of *those* photos. You know the type, where you shamefacedly hand it over when you're asked for I.D. (admittedly, this happens less frequently than I would like, but it's understandable as I'm now closing in on 30).

Actually, the straw that broke the camel's back and made me decide that this year would be *my* year was a recent trip to New Look. My work uniform requires that I wear boot-cut jeans and sadly my old, faithful pair had decided to wear away on the inside of the leg. Rather than offend my customer's eyes, I figured a couple of new pairs were *long* overdue. I had a terrible time trying to find boot-cut in amongst the "super skinny" offerings in their Inspire range. Now don't get me wrong, if someone of my size has the confidence to wear skinny jeans and make them look good I'm delighted for them, but personally, I wouldn't inflict my size 22 derriere in super skinny jeans on anyone! And it got me to thinking... if this is all that's going to be available, I had damned well better get myself to a size where I don't feel like this. So I bit the bullet and joined Slimming World for the 3rd and, for all intents and purposes, last time on the 3rd January 2013.

I attended Slimming World about 5 years ago and managed to lose just over 5st. I then got into a relationship (annoyingly with someone who could stuff their face all day and never gain a lb), got comfortable and stopped attending class. To my dismay when I rejoined 2 weeks ago, I had not only put on everything I had lost before, but also a further 11.5lbs over and above this, bringing me (much to my horror) to a grand total of 22st7lbs.

My first two weeks have gone better than I'd hoped - I've so far lost 12.5lbs (7.5lbs in week 1 and 5lbs in week 2), and I will be pushing for my 1st award on my next weigh in. I'm hoping that by keeping a diary of my journey that this will encourage me to stick to plan. I'm hoping to add some "before" photos soon, and over the coming months some "during" and "afters". Looking at many other people's diaries, this seems to have worked in keeping them focused. So please excuse my ramblings, I hope that they'll get me to where I want to be.

Looking forward to reading about other people's journeys. We're all in this together .

P.S. If anyone has any advice on setting PATs I'd appreciate some input. Apparently the maximum "healthy" weight for my height is 12st1lb, but I feel that this is lighter than I'd like to be. I'm thinking of aiming for a BMI of 30 (so 14st7lb) and once I get there, see if I feel I should lose any more.

 

[sa84bry]

I've been thinking today about my reasons for wanting to lose weight - there's actually more of them than I thought.

First and foremost I think is to improve my self confidence. I think when we're comfortable in our own skin it shows. I'm hoping that by getting myself to a weight I am comfortable with that this might bring back the old Sam, instead of the miserable old cow I seem to have become.

I'd like to get in to a stable relationship. As it is at the moment, I seem to keep attracting the same "wrong" type. I think, in all fairness, this feeds back into the self confidence thing though!

I'd like to be able to pick up clothes off the rail, so to speak, instead of limiting myself to Evans and Inspire at New Look. I miss the feeling of being able to just go and get something I see that I like without having the worry of "will it fit?". I'm thinking of making one of my mini-targets to fit in to a pair of Topshop jeans.

I don't want to end up like my parents - both my mother and father have had weight problems for as long as I can remember. 10 years ago, my mum had to have a gastric band fitted as she was on the brink of organ failure and the thought of being in that position myself terrifies me! (I should point out that since having her band fitted, my mum has lost over 22st and is now a healthy weight, but mentally - she admits herself - still has the same eating disorder and relationship with food).

I want to be healthy. I don't want to be the "fat friend". I could go on forever.

I've worked out that if I am able to sustain an average loss of between 2 and 2.5lbs per week (I don't think this is unachievable) from now going forwards, that I should be able to hit a BMI of 30 before the end of the year. At the moment, I've decided to set that as my PAT. If I feel comfortable then great, if not I guess I can keep going until I am.

I'd appreciate any input that you guys may have. Some of the stories and photos I've seen on these forums are just incredible and a real inspiration to keep me on the straight and narrow.

 

[lottiebird]

Hi there Just been having a read of your diary.

Setting a PAT is hard, I change my mind all the time about my final goal (but I officially leave it at 12 stone, which is above my official ideal weight). I guess I'll know when I get there. I know I want to be under 15 stone, so I am trying to stay focussed on getting into the 14 stone bracket. I know I want to be a size 14 at least, so I am going to buy a pair of size 14 jeans and get my butt into them. Anything after that is a bonus.

What you said about bringing back the old Sam... That really strikes a chord with me Well done so far, I'll be keeping an eye on your diary.

 

[sa84bry]

Thanks Lottie it's a tricky thing to try to work out... I think the size thing is probably a good first target - I think I'd be happy in a 12-14, not sure I want to be much less to be totally honest, but we'll see. I can't help but think I don't want to make my PAT too low because I think I'm not going to be able to achieve it.

The bit about bringing back the old me, the last time I remember being truly happy with myself I was somewhere around the size 16 mark, not too big, not too small and a lot, lot more confident than I am now. It's horrible, seems to be holding me back in my everyday life, work included - which is silly, because I'm damned good at my job .

You look to be doing very well so far, 3st7lbs is a fantastic achievement - well done! x

 

[sa84bry]

So far so good today, been off work so off to get some bits of shopping in. I haven't had to buy much fruit this week thanks to the SOTW basket from an extremely busy class, and with it being the week before payday it's been a big help. I was hoping to get my eyebrows waxed with my Benefit gift card (from Santa), but as they had no brow girls in today, I had to subject myself to threading. I know, I know, it gives better shape and all that... but seriously, owww! So, I treated myself with 6 syns of Curly Wurly as a well done!

We had the Amoy van outside of work yesterday, who were handing out wee recipe books - so I've SW-friendly-ised a few of them, gonna try some Five Spice Beef Noodles tonight I think. Had a Malcolm Allan burger with Cathedral City light, a wholmeal bun and plenty of salad for lunch. Got a turkish delight Mullerlight to try (not usually fond of turkish delight), along with some coconut ones (how did I not know these things existed?!) - really looking forward to trying one after dinner! Also got a soup kit from the vegetable aisle, so going to attempt some Potato and Leek over the next day or so!

For the first time in years, I'm actually feeling focused and ready to do this and damn, it feels good. Just hoping I have enough room in my freezer for all the things I'm going to need to put in it following my experimentation. WI on Wednesday, so keeping my fingers crossed. I've been doing EE over the last few days, and can't help but feel robbed of my HEXs, hoping I haven't overdone it!

 

[sa84bry]

Had to go to an earlier WI this week, due to a shift change in work. As I expected, not such a big loss this week, I think in part thanks to having extra HEXs before I realised I'd done it. Still, got 1.5lbs off so happy-one-stone to me x

 

[sa84bry]

Exciting moment for me this morning... I thought I'd try, just to see if they'd fit, the pair of size 20 jeans I bought a few weeks back. They wouldn't even go over my bum when I bought them and today they went on, no struggle with button or zip or anything. I feel they're still a wee bit too tight around the thighs, so won't be wearing them out yet, but it's another small triumph at least.

Got my WI tonight, so fingers crossed all goes well. Hope you're all having an awesome week! xx

 

[littlemissslim]

Hi, if the reason you don't want to set the target is you don't think you can do it, it's early days; you've only jusy started on your journey.
It can be done, but try not to think too far ahead, small steps, and don't be afraid to change your target as you go.
There is a girl in our group who lost 12 stone, it took her 22 months, but she was very determined.
If you think you can't do it, it will make it harder. You'll start to believe in yourself more as time goes by, so don't rush, don't give up, and don't think you can't.
I hope that doesn't sound silly, but you are being a bit hard on yourself.
Well done for getting your first stone.xx

 

[sa84bry]

Hey Littlemiss

Thank you for the message and the encouragement. I think to be honest that *is* the reason I've freaking out about setting a target. Saw my aunt today, who is around the same height as me and around 10 stone, and she does suit her figure. I think the thing in the back of my mind was thinking how gaunt my mum looked when she got to her 'target'. That, and it seems so damn far away. I think I'm maybe even a little scared that I'm not going to be able to do it. The mistake I made the last time was getting in to a relationship, getting comfortable and then eating whatever the bf was eating despite the fact his metabolism seemed to deal with it better than mine. More than anything I think I'm angry with myself for putting it all back on. No matter, the past is in the past - onwards and downwards and all that! 12 stone is absolutely incredible! She must be soooo proud! Well done on your loss hun, and maintaining it - can't wait until I'm in that position myself!

 

[sa84bry]

Well, today has been a total waste of syns! I need my coffee, and have been covering elsewhere as structural work is being done in my own workplace at the moment, and the ******* didn't have sweetener. 8 syns down the drain as I had to use sugar that'll teach me! I'll be carrying some around with me from now on!

 

[wexy]

Good luck with your weight loss. You've done really well so far.
I started at the same time. Do you find it easy?
Funny enough my first big target is to get in to some top shop jeans. I would love to be able to go in to any shop and know they will have my size and not have to look at the back in shame.

 

[sa84bry]

Hey Wexy,

Thank you honey you're doing very well too from what I see. I do find it easy most days I tend to stick to the "older" original and green for the most part though, as I used to follow the plan years ago before EE came in. I've been faffing around a lot with recipes this time around and I think I'm finding it a tad easier to follow as I'm not eating the same thing every night as well

Aye, I think Topshop jeans are the way to go. 1, because they're small sizes anyway and 2, if I can fit in them I can fit in anything from anywhere, more or less. I think it may be the one and only thing I buy from there though, lol, as I find them sizist!

 

[xMandyDx]

Love your diary. You seem very focused, even though you're disappointed with yourself for having put all the weight back on, but hey, lesson learnt, and you won't do that again. Like most of us, this doesn't end at Target, because we all have a horrible relationship with food, and I'm not sure that if left to our own devices, we wouldn't all put it back on again. That's why SW is a way of life, and not a diet, I suppose. It does kind of make me sad that I will be doing this forever, and won't be able to stuff myself with bad (i.e. yummy) foods like my hubby or some of my friends, but I know if I let it slip and relaxed too much after I hit Target, I'd be back to where I started in no time.

A woman in my group (who has since left) lost around 10st to get to Target, and she swore by bringing a bag around with her everywhere. In this bag was all the little bits and peices that you won't find in a café or restaurant or caffeteria. Extra light mayo, sweetener, fat free dressing, selections of herbs/spices, mugshots and NAS squash. That way, when she went somewhere to eat, she could order a plain salad with no dressing, and add her own. She could order a water, and put squash in it, she could use the ex-light mayo on a wholemeal and ham sandwich instead of butter...

 

[sa84bry]

Hi Mandy,

That is actually a fantastic idea to be fair, I have a huuuuuge handbag, so I think I could probably fit a few essentials like that in it... though my work colleagues think I have a dead body in it already, what with how heavy it is! Still, anything to help stick to plan is not to be sniffed at. Defo learned my lesson today though, lol!

Yeah, I'm really *hoping* not to let myself get in to the same position again. It's horrible isn't it? It's just a case of trying to get out of the mindset and I guess it's ok to have the odd "off" day, as long as it is just that - a day. I know what you mean though, I love, love, love stuff that's bad for me I read something in a magazine today on my lunch break that Claire from Steps had said about loving food but really not loving exercise and I thought I concur. I'm debating joining a gym (though I have considered myself allergic since being locked in one a few years ago - 45 mins before the police arrived with a keyholder, lol) but I'm thinking classes, particularly dancey ones, might be more enjoyable. Still, I'd like to lose a bit before I think about joining one as I still feel like I'm going to be huuuuge in comparison with others in the class

You're doing fab missus! And almost at 20% weight loss, that's brilliant! Can't wait to get to there. Having a little debate about mini targets between now and then, obviously Club10 first. Loving the bits on your signature, think I may use a few for some inspiration!

 

[xMandyDx]

Ah I set interim targets. My next one is to get back to where I was before the December gain...13st 13lb!
After that it's non-stop to interim target of 12st. Next interim target after that is 10st, and if I'm happy there, I'm calling Target, if not I'll keep going until I reach the higher end of my healthy range, which is 9st. Seems like just a few little steps, but Lord knows I'll have to fight for every lb!

Every woman's handbag is the same, isn't it? Mine is like a bloody suitcase some days haha

As far as the gym goes, I signed up for 3 months. It was the single biggest waste of money, EVER. I am the type of person who won't go to the gym on her own. I need a partner in crime, to feel less self-conscious, so I only ever went a handful of times. I'm much happier getting out and doing some walking.
I can imagine the panic when you were locked in! I got stuck in an elevator when I was about 10 and I swear I still sometimes have a little "Oh-no!!!" moment when I get on them.

In no time at all you'll be passing my losses out haha, I'm the scenic route person, rather than the highway!

 

[wexy]

Hi. I agree about top shop. I just want to be able to get in their jeans so I know I've reached a target.
I've not set an ultimate goal yet. Just mini goals. I want to have lost 2 st by June. Works out at under 2lb a week so not impossible. Then another st by my birthday at the being of November. Smaller target but its holiday and festival season so being realistic.
Good luck with the next weigh in and all the others

 

[sa84bry]

Thanks girlies

Not having such an awesome week this week. I've found over the last couple of days I'm seriously craving everything that is not SW-friendly and pretty sure I've overdone the HEXs. The only "syn-ful" thing I have had so far was a wee slice of cake yesterday, but I can see where this is heading...

I've got a couple of days off together at the moment and was supposed to be visiting a friend down South but those plans fell through and now I'm pretty sure my cravings are due to boredom rather than the fact I'm hungry. Aaaaaargh!

 

[littlemissslim]

Hi Sam, how about making some new plans? If not the gym, a home exercise dvd, planning some menu's for the next few days might get your focus back.
How about setting yourself 4 goals; they must be 100% acheivable, and they must be things that make you feel good - just as an example - measure your milk - that's easy to do! Or prepare some
free food snacks to go in your fridge that you can grab, plan 2 days menu's in advance - anything you you like! xx