SOME ONE NEW IN MY LIFE...HELP!

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by blufizz, 19 March 2010 Social URL.

  1. blufizz

    blufizz Full Member

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    :confused:
    not sure where to begin with this prob and its prob gunna sound odd anyways but what the heck lol..

    Ok heres the thing...ive been chatting to a guy online( yeh go on get the sniggering out of the way plz :D)

    Were only chatting and kinda getting to know each other....its not from a dating sight or any other sleazy place and we chat in msn some nights and email most days...ive seen a pic he says is him....but i dont do pics online-never have-and seeing as were just chatting dont feel the urge to splash my visog everywhere...

    He seems a really nice guy and trust me ive chatted to and met loads of toads over the yrs lol (from online and in real life)..

    hes not asked for a pic or anything and ive not described what i look like in much detail (could be good sign as most wanna know ya bra size form word go!)hes hinting at meeting up some time as we live not fsr from each other...but i kinda dont say anything other than a vague maybe...partly cos im not sure how much i trust a guy from online and partly cos of other possible compatability issues...

    My problem is....do i tell him im a member of slimming world or not??? :confused:
    And if i do will he think me someone who has let herself go or someone who has no control where food is concerned?

    Ive asked leading questions re what hes attracted to in a woman but he doesnt ever mention body stuff?

    I know this is only at the mo an online friendship and i do have another male online friend not just him...but somehting feels diffo with him....we have good conversations and share a lot of life-similarities...

    ive not been in a relationship of any kind for over 5 yrs now....
    dont get me wrong i can chat to guys in real life-flirt a little even :) but only cos i dont actually beleive any of them fancy me so i feel protected - prob why i had been happy to pile on the weight and use it as an excuse for being on my own or even as a way of being on my own so therefore not likely to get hurt again.hmmm bit too deep huh?)

    and i know where this is leading- us meeting- and then it could possibly lead to something very much in the real world.....just dont know if my weight issues will put him off or stop me or spoil things???? :(

    maybe im thinking too far ahead here....just doesnt sit well with me not feeling able to mention sw..he wonders where i pop off to now on wed nights lol...

    sorry if ive rambled but ive no one else to ask...x
     
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  3. suepat10

    suepat10 I am one of the 63336

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    I'd slip it in to the conversation but without making a 'point' of it. As in a 'oh, a funny thing happened at my Slimming World class the other day' and then tell him a story (even if it's made up!!).

    That way he's aware that you go, but that it's not a big deal. I found with my OH that what concerned him wasn't that I went to a slimming club but that he was worried if we went out I'd spend the whole time worrying about calories or boring him to death about it.

    If you do decide to meet up could you make it this way so I can give him the once over for you :rotflmao: (sorry, I'm so nosey!!)
     
  4. Happy Holidays

    Happy Holidays Gold Member

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    Personally I would mention it only if it crops up in conversation.

    Just putting my mum head on for a moment....... if you do meet make sure it's in a public place :D And enjoy yourself life is for living :D:D
     
  5. sarahm85

    sarahm85 Silver Member

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    Just to say, if you do meet up, meet in a public place! With all the horror stories you hear in the news, it's just not worth it. I live close by to where the girl was found who was killed by a man she thought was a lad on facebook - driving past there everyday is horrible and I would hate it to happen to anyone else.
     
  6. Shirleen

    Shirleen Gold Member

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    I assume you want to warn him that you're overweight?
    I can understand how you feel, as you don't want to be rejected for it.

    But the thing is...you don't need to 'warn' him, there is nothing shameful in being overweight. It's not good for you and can cause you problems but it's nothing to do with anyone else and you certainly don't need to tell him you've 'let yourself go'.
    I get the feeling you almost want to apologise for yourself! You are a beautiful, wonderfully made woman and deserve to be treated with respect and decency, and that includes treating yourself likewise!

    Go, stay safe and enjoy yourself xxx
     
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  7. blufizz

    blufizz Full Member

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    hello :D
    good idea but not sure i could come up with funny story lol..
    deffo wouldnt want him to think i was obsessed with calories and syn values....or that hed feel bad tucking into a huge pudding or something lol..he knows im a veggie and almost apologised for being a meat eater-tho i wasnt totally sure he wasnt just being funny-sarcastic :)...
    its like a double edged sword really...he could be aghast that im not a size 12 or impressed im doing something about my weight...

    bexhill...lol....thats prob closer to me than it is to him lol....

    having said that....i once (many yrs back i hasten to add lol)arranged to meet a really buff italian guy(young guy) at my local bistro when i lived london area....i made a friend come with me lol...we got there mega early and sunk a couple drinks then i made her go sit at another table before he came in lol...i was sooo nervous i thought i was gunna pass out :D
    when he turned up both me and my mate nearly passed out-his photo didnt do him justice-he was gorgeous and my mate almost fell over herself to get over to my table and made out she had been waiting for her b/f who stood her up!!! took me ages to get rid of her and get him all to myself :p
    was funny tho....but not the waiting for him bit...thats what im dreading and dont know if i can do it lol..even if i was a size 12!!...least chatting online is safe lol
     
  8. blufizz

    blufizz Full Member

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    hiya....yes im overweight but it doesnt define me as a person totally...i feel good when i go out now and dont hide like i used to..
    im not happy being this weight from a health point of view....and up til chatting to this guy wasnt looking to attract a man lol...
    certainly dont feel embarasssed by or for myself-as you say were all beautiful in our own way and deserve respect as a human being...my weight gain has a reason behind it-a definate cause and i guess thats the part thats nagging at me to be explained ..but its not something i can talk bout...not even with you lovley ladies in here :)

    other people i chat to know and it was simple..."im on a healthy eating plan to lose some weight and be healthier" often describe myself as really curvey...its no biggie lol..but with him its diffo..which is just plain silly isnt it?

    Now im talking bout meeting him im even more nervous.....:eek:
     
  9. ilovelife

    ilovelife Wishing and hoping!

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    honesty is always best, just send him a picture and if it is meant to be it will be fine :)
     
  10. blufizz

    blufizz Full Member

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    :D its ok SARAH & HAPPY HOLIDAYS suepat is coming with me ! hehehehehe

    but i know what you mean and thanks for your concern...id need to know him a little more before id entertain the idea of meeting him...ive done net-dating in the past and have a few saftey tricks up my sleeve still :)
    On the seafront in full view of the pensioners should do it lol

    maybe i wont try to get it into the conversation....if he hasnt asked me to describe myself then hes maybe not that obsessed with looks...thatd make a change!..lol
     
  11. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    Hun, i think its fab, and such good things could come from this if hes as lovley online as in real life etc,

    but, if he didnt like the fact you were on slimmingworld, or that you cared about your health or found it odd in anyway, quite frankly, i wouldnt want to be in any form of friendship/relationship with him at all. My OH always say he likes me just as i am, ( we were already together when i first started so hes been with me the whole way through) .. BUT, despite that he's very supportive and likes the fact i care.. my health is important for our future after all.

    - whatever the reasons behind your weight gain, .. nothing matters when its love. <3 i'v been through some truely awful and traumatic things in my life, but like you these things do not define me.. but many men wouldnt want anything to do with me.. so when you find someone who accepts you for all those things, and more importantly -doesnt bat an eyelid at them- but is supportive none the less.. its different, and you'l know.

    You only live once, and i honestly think you should (safley of course lol) do it. What do you have to loose.. if your already fearing the worse, your prepared for the moment it happens are you not? - but i think you could possibly be pleasently suprised.. or just tell him point blank.. and go from there.. xxxxx
     
  12. blufizz

    blufizz Full Member

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    i take horrid pics...and we didnt hook up cos we were looking to date and .were just chatting and hes the one dropping hints bout meeting up.....actually hes not asked to see my pic...?
    god hes prob some nerdy 20 yr old geek lol.:confused:
     
  13. ilovelife

    ilovelife Wishing and hoping!

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    it was just a suggestion just to get it out of the way but you got to do what you feel comfortable with, I have bad anxiety so this is what I would of done not having the balls to wait, your brave in meeting someone :). I wouldnt worry about your weight sounds like he is not loks orintated or why would he but all the time in 'talk' if it wasent for the long run?
     
  14. blufizz

    blufizz Full Member

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    thanks for your reply(and everyone else)
    looking at how the chat goes ive thrown things into it to see how he reacts..like how many kids/grandkids i have.....
    .....god i even asked him how he felt bout having kids of his own-hes none-and he explained-no prompting from me- lol how he felt bout that and how well he gets on with his mates kids...so hes easy to talk to bout personal things....

    i can see now this is more to do with how i feel bout myself than how anyone else is going to react to anything i tell them bout my life...funny how when you think your over something it still clings...

    i should really just carry on thinking of him as a friend and if we meet we meet and take it from there...
     
  15. blufizz

    blufizz Full Member

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    i get what your saying :) and it wasnt til today that it dawned on me he could be serious bout meeting up...and ive gone into panic mode cos im not sure what to do if he asks me outright lol...still not sure if i could lol...
     
  16. ilovelife

    ilovelife Wishing and hoping!

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    remember he is interested in you, so just be yourself :)
     
  17. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    Its nice to let yourself get caught up in it though isnt it? the what if's and the nervous excitment :p


    - somtimes you dont realise how somthing 'clings' but it doesnt 'cling' its always there, just sometimes it more apparent than others, 98% of the time it feels like those things happen to someone i knew, or used to know.. someone else.. then one day, out of the blue.. its like being told or going through it all over again, and its suddenly all very real and you wonder how you ever cope.. i think sometimes, depending on how we feel deep down, things affect us more than others, .. - a bit drastic sounding when i relate it to myself - but like anything, somtimes things pass us by without feeling a thing, and other days it can seem such a big deal..

    do it, you'l be wrecked with nerves, but.. what if you dont?
     
  18. blufizz

    blufizz Full Member

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    funny hes just emailed...and im sat here smiling like a kid!
    oh this is sooo silly at my age!!! lol
    ...and hes dropped huge hint again lol...sorry off to read it properly.....

    just dont know what it is bout him/his emails/chat...

    it would be sooo much easier if id met him in tescos!!! lmao

    have good night everyone and il keep you posted..if your not bored by my school-girl-ramblings yet lol..x
     
  19. ilovelife

    ilovelife Wishing and hoping!

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    aw enjoy the excitment, at times I miss it whilst lying in my jammies and my OH talking about his bowel movements, oh the comforts in life lol
     
  20. blufizz

    blufizz Full Member

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    :D awww dont lololol....itl prob come to nuthing but hey who knows and its making me smile ..x
     
  21. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    Haha, i was just thinking the same! I feel old before my time some days lmfao. Wouldnt have it any other way!
     
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