BrittW
Timelord
Hey,
I'm not sure why i'm posting this on here really but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it...
Basically as some of you know i lost my mum to cancer a few years ago, but when that happened i was also orphaned (for want of a better word) as all other members of my family had died in the previous years through one disease or another.
Anyway, ever since the first death in my family that i can remember (as i few happened when i was quite young), which would be my nan when i was 13/14 i've had slight panic attacks about my own mortality (terrifyed that i won't be here one day) but as i've got older, it got worse. However after my mum died it sort of stopped, i can only put it down to shock i suppose. It's only been the past year it's come back only a lot worse. Not only having panic and anxiety attacks but i'm very stressed as well and end up snapping at everyone (particularly boyfriends i've had) and i've ended up pushing everyone away from it. Now i've ignored all this hoping it will go away or get better on it's own, but last night it struck really bad.
I woke up about 4am to go to the toilet and when i came back i was laying in bed, eyes wide open, thinking i was going to die one day, knowing i won't be around anymore, asking myself what's the point of everything, i burst into tears, my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest, i felt sick and started shaking. It has never been this bad before, and when i think about it, these past few months i've been more stressed and snappy than ever.
I've done the whole 'google' thing and i've technically got all the symptoms of 'anxiety' etc, but i don't know what to do about it, i can't keep feeling like this...
I've made an appointment with the GP for wednesday but i feel a bit bad about taking my doctors time for something that's all in my mind, i mean there are people who are booking appointments for serious things and there's me with my 'stress and anxiety' is the GP the best route?
I'm not expecting someone to give me the divine answer, it's just i feel i can talk to the people on here without being judged or anything and just needed some friendly advice...
Eep sorry for the essay, it's been playing on my mind all morning... xxxxxxx
I'm not sure why i'm posting this on here really but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it...
Basically as some of you know i lost my mum to cancer a few years ago, but when that happened i was also orphaned (for want of a better word) as all other members of my family had died in the previous years through one disease or another.
Anyway, ever since the first death in my family that i can remember (as i few happened when i was quite young), which would be my nan when i was 13/14 i've had slight panic attacks about my own mortality (terrifyed that i won't be here one day) but as i've got older, it got worse. However after my mum died it sort of stopped, i can only put it down to shock i suppose. It's only been the past year it's come back only a lot worse. Not only having panic and anxiety attacks but i'm very stressed as well and end up snapping at everyone (particularly boyfriends i've had) and i've ended up pushing everyone away from it. Now i've ignored all this hoping it will go away or get better on it's own, but last night it struck really bad.
I woke up about 4am to go to the toilet and when i came back i was laying in bed, eyes wide open, thinking i was going to die one day, knowing i won't be around anymore, asking myself what's the point of everything, i burst into tears, my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest, i felt sick and started shaking. It has never been this bad before, and when i think about it, these past few months i've been more stressed and snappy than ever.
I've done the whole 'google' thing and i've technically got all the symptoms of 'anxiety' etc, but i don't know what to do about it, i can't keep feeling like this...
I've made an appointment with the GP for wednesday but i feel a bit bad about taking my doctors time for something that's all in my mind, i mean there are people who are booking appointments for serious things and there's me with my 'stress and anxiety' is the GP the best route?
I'm not expecting someone to give me the divine answer, it's just i feel i can talk to the people on here without being judged or anything and just needed some friendly advice...
Eep sorry for the essay, it's been playing on my mind all morning... xxxxxxx