Struggling at the moment, need abit of encouragement to get back on track!

[jodidi]

Hi all, I don't post that much but I've been really struggling at the moment. The way SW works for me is to be strict e.g. no alcohol or chocolate, cakes etc. I promised myself I would do it this way until I reached my target and then introduce these things back in. I am an all or nothing girl I cant have just one chocolate bar etc. Where I went wrong was to start allowing myself treats and basically it got out of hand and I've been struggling for a month and a half ish. I even got voted my groups woman of the year but I feel like I should give it back, like I don't deserve it. Its like I've gone on self destruct and I m so scared Ill carry on and put all my weight back on. When I first did SW 3 years ago I lost 2st 9.5lb and I started to think "I can handle a treat" but it got out of hand and I went on self destruct, put all my weight back on and more, taking me to my highest ever.

How do you stop the cycle happening again???

I feel like I've blown everything and I might as well give up now. I feel like Ill never get to my target, it just feels so far away. I put on 4lb a month and a half ago then got back on it for a couple of weeks then started messing around again. I keep saying "one more day to get it out of my system". But I know from experience that one more day is never enough, you have to nip it in the bud now. I keep thinking to myself "how did I get my head into the game ?" "How did I resist the cravings so that they didn't bother me too much?" At the moment the cravings for junk are so big I just keep giving in. Also I just i'm not enjoying the SW food at the moment, everything I make or think of making is just boring. I wanted to switch to WW for a bit but my DH really wants me to stick to SW. I feel abit trapped in SW TBH. My DH wants me to stick to SW because I have messed around dieting for 10yrs and im finally getting somewhere and he is scared if I try something else, it wont work and I definately will put everything back on. I totally understand this I can see where hes coming from but I just cant get it out of my head that I need a change. But I dont know if its such a good idea.

Being strict works for me, I just cant use my syns on treat food. Ill do SW alternatives, but eating the real deal I just cannot do with self control. I want to get back to how I did it to get this far. I need to get strict. Any tips on how I can get my head back in the game? Or do I need to allow myself treats within syns? Have I been too strict taht I've cracked? I just dont know what to do!

Sorry for the long post but I really felt I needed to post as sometimes it's hard to say how you really feel and asking for help is hard as you feel like your a failure. I need help, I need to learn how to not let this happen again!

Thanks in advance

 

[Marshflower]

The thing I get from reading your post is that you're beating yourself up an awful lot and saying you don't deserve things. It's like you're viewing your attempt at weight loss as a punishment for over indulging, where as really what you're doing by following SW is to finally love your body by treating it well and giving it good fuel. SW is not a punishment, it's a release from bein trapped in a cycle of eating too much foods which may give a quick hit but don't do you any favours in the long run. I know you say you're an all or nothing girl but you really need to learn to address this because it's never going to go away or change and this eating plan is for life- it'll be the same which ever plan you do, WW is no different just a bit more restrictive in the sennse you have to stay within your points and it will encourage you to eat more processed foods. I don't think hopping from diet to diet is your answer. Your OH is right, you need to commit to this. This is the tough bit, it's like a rough patch in a relationship. When you start a diet- so if you moved to WW- it's like when you first start dating- everything is amazing, goin really well it's all wonderful. It's when real life sets in after a few years that the going can get tough. Same with an eating plan. The novelty wears off but you have to stick with it and find a way to work through it. Use your Consultant. Talk to him/her about how you are feeling- its what they are there for. Ultimately if you don't stay at this, you could end up like me- back again an fatter and more miserable than ever. You DESERVE to have the body you want. You are worth the effort. So make the effort to treat your body like the wonderful thing it is. Try and get suggestions from your C ad your group and the ace people on here as to how you can just stop at a couple f pieces of chocolate or a slice of cake. It's a learning a curve but unless you battle on and learn to do it, it won't get any easier regardless of what plan you do. You CAN do this. You just have to rediscover what it was that gave you the motivation to do it in the first place.

 

[pixie-gem]

The thing I get from reading your post is that you're beating yourself up an awful lot and saying you don't deserve things. It's like you're viewing your attempt at weight loss as a punishment for over indulging, where as really what you're doing by following SW is to finally love your body by treating it well and giving it good fuel. SW is not a punishment, it's a release from bein trapped in a cycle of eating too much foods which may give a quick hit but don't do you any favours in the long run. I know you say you're an all or nothing girl but you really need to learn to address this because it's never going to go away or change and this eating plan is for life- it'll be the same which ever plan you do, WW is no different just a bit more restrictive in the sennse you have to stay within your points and it will encourage you to eat more processed foods. I don't think hopping from diet to diet is your answer. Your OH is right, you need to commit to this. This is the tough bit, it's like a rough patch in a relationship. When you start a diet- so if you moved to WW- it's like when you first start dating- everything is amazing, goin really well it's all wonderful. It's when real life sets in after a few years that the going can get tough. Same with an eating plan. The novelty wears off but you have to stick with it and find a way to work through it. Use your Consultant. Talk to him/her about how you are feeling- its what they are there for. Ultimately if you don't stay at this, you could end up like me- back again an fatter and more miserable than ever. You DESERVE to have the body you want. You are worth the effort. So make the effort to treat your body like the wonderful thing it is. Try and get suggestions from your C ad your group and the ace people on here as to how you can just stop at a couple f pieces of chocolate or a slice of cake. It's a learning a curve but unless you battle on and learn to do it, it won't get any easier regardless of what plan you do. You CAN do this. You just have to rediscover what it was that gave you the motivation to do it in the first place.

^^ This lady said it much more eloquently than i ever could, so ditto to the above ^^
Don't really have much to add, but you were so open and honest, i really didn't want to just read and run.
Believe in yourself. You ARE worth it. Look in the mirror every day and say one thing that you like about yourself. Doesn't have to be physical if you're not there yet, it can be anything. "i'm funny" i'm a kind person" "i'm smart" , anything, and slowly just build it up, once you can say that one thing, and believe it (that's the important part) then add another, and another, and so on.
You deserve this, please stop beating yourself up!
Big hugs x

 

[peacelily]

Agree with all that's been said above but also wanted to say that if you have foods that trigger binges then it can be good to avoid for a bit so that you can start to get some successes under your belt again. But can you introduce some other things that you could use instead such as hot choc options instead of chocolate. Even if you had 6 of them a day (and I'm not sure they are that good!) you'd still be within your syns and getting a sweet hit. If you keep telling yourself you can't have things those are the things you will want so think about what you can have.

Also as person above said, if you see this as a punishment and a temporary thing until you can eat "normally" again then it prob will feel really hard and is an indicator that maybe your head isn't into it yet. To get yourself into it focus on the positive aspects of losing whether they are health or image related.

I can understand your feeling bored with what your eating but, again, maybe it's time to look at the plan with some fresh eyes. Get onto the recipe threads, buy the mag, and give yourself some mini goals to achieve which aren't food related.

Start being nice to yourself. You deserve it cos you have done SO well to get as far as you have. If it all feels too much then just have a break and rethink what you want. Good luck lovely it's a nightmare when it just feels like its all too much. But keep posting we have all been there and it just takes getting your head in gear to get where you want. Let us know how it goes.

 

[jodidi]

Thanks everyone! It's just so frustrating when you were doing so well, then all of a sudden it goes to pot and you just can't seem to get back on it. I am desperate to get back into it. I do not want to go back to where I was, I was so unhappy with myself. Plus my DH took a photo of me the other day and I thought I was looking not too bad as I'd lost quite a bit. But the picture horrified me! I looked pretty much the same! It just felt like the last 8mths hard work was for nothing. It sent me on a bit of a food bender because I thought "whats the point, 8mth later I still look the same"! It upset me a lot.

 

[pixie-gem]

Thanks everyone! It's just so frustrating when you were doing so well, then all of a sudden it goes to pot and you just can't seem to get back on it. I am desperate to get back into it. I do not want to go back to where I was, I was so unhappy with myself. Plus my DH took a photo of me the other day and I thought I was looking not too bad as I'd lost quite a bit. But the picture horrified me! I looked pretty much the same! It just felt like the last 8mths hard work was for nothing. It sent me on a bit of a food bender because I thought "whats the point, 8mth later I still look the same"! It upset me a lot.

Aww sweetie! *massive hugs* you have lost nigh on 4st! i would be overjoyed, thats nearly half way!!
Try maybe a pamper day (not the munchie kind) like have a lovely bubble bath, candles, music, do your nails, go shopping, whatever it is that you do to make yourself feel better that doesn't revolve around food, give yourself a time out.
xx

 

[jodidi]

Aww sweetie! *massive hugs* you have lost nigh on 4st! i would be overjoyed, thats nearly half way!!
Try maybe a pamper day (not the munchie kind) like have a lovely bubble bath, candles, music, do your nails, go shopping, whatever it is that you do to make yourself feel better that doesn't revolve around food, give yourself a time out.
xx

That's the thing, when I feel like this I don't feel like doing anything. So everyone suffers. I'd just started to use makeup again and pampering myself abit now I've come crashing down I dont feel like doing anything or going anywhere.

 

[JulesyR]

I agree with the posts above - you do seem to be giving yourself a really hard time. Can I ask though - have you seen your GP? Your comment about crashing and not wanting to do anything or go anywhere sounds like a touch of depression to me (not that I am a Doc but I am a rebounding depressive)....and reading the previous posts from you some CBT therapy may help the way your deal/react with things.

Either way - you are not on your own, your OH sounds supportive and this forum is supportive too!

 

[jodidi]

I agree with the posts above - you do seem to be giving yourself a really hard time. Can I ask though - have you seen your GP? Your comment about crashing and not wanting to do anything or go anywhere sounds like a touch of depression to me (not that I am a Doc but I am a rebounding depressive)....and reading the previous posts from you some CBT therapy may help the way your deal/react with things.

Either way - you are not on your own, your OH sounds supportive and this forum is supportive too!

I'm not depressed, its just that I've messed around so much over the last 10 years that this time I really feel like I can do it but I sort of wanted the perfect journey with no bumps in the road. I suppose I thought the only way I'll get to target is if the journeys perfect and I don't make the mistakes I made in the past. Whenever things have got tough I always give up and I just don't know how to get over that hump. I've always been tough on myself with everything. I think that's why I give up so easily. If I cant do it perfect first time I think I've ruined it, daft I know! It's a bad habit I've had for years and I need to brake it! Any tips, lol!

 

[Marshflower]

I had bulimia for many years and received therapy for it and one of the things that really stuck with me was the coiled spring analogy- a lot of the time our relationships with our selves and also with food are like coiled springs- the more pressure you apply, the more pressure builds up and so with the slightest "slip", the harder the spring bounces back. So the more pressure you put on those relationships, the bigger your negative reaction when you perceive an element of failure occurring- a "slip". The less pressure you apply, the milder the reaction to a slip.
In English?
Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. NO ONES weight loss journey is perfect. No journey to anywhere is perfect. Imagine if you got to goal without any hurdles. What sense of achievement is there? What incentive to stay there? It's the ver coming of the barriers and the continuance of self belief that leads for the greatest rewards. This not wanting to do anything positive when you perceive you've had a slip is a way of punishing yourself. Stop it! You don't need punishing. You need to be your own biggest cheerleader.
Stop leaning on your spring so much and accept that this journey is a long and bumpy one, but one definitely worth doing.

 

[JulesyR]

Hope I didn't offend you- but glad to here you're not depressed!

Good luck!

 

[Stefanie]

I have had a few weeks/months on the SW journey where I have binges - last being only a week ago. I went away and thought bugger it....pizza, alcohol, yum yums, indian, chinese...all in a week (note the missed weigh-in as I couldn't face it). But honestly the only way I ever get back on track is through the gym and exercise. When I exercise I no longer want to put that stuff in my mouth and the cravings go. I'm back on track and the gym wins hands down on helping me achieve my eventual target weight. Getting off the couch is very difficult, but it's either that or a world of unhappiness and an ever-increasing gut! Hope you find the strength you know you have xx

 

[clevercat]

I often find myself rewarding treats and getting a bit too carried away but rather than beating myself up about it (which many of us do), I draw a line under it and taking control before it gets too bad.
Maybe have a look in some SW desert recipe books and make enough for one portion?
I know how you feel! Hope you get the motivation and will power back

 

[jodidi]

Hope I didn't offend you- but glad to here you're not depressed!

Good luck!

No offence taken

I had bulimia for many years and received therapy for it and one of the things that really stuck with me was the coiled spring analogy- a lot of the time our relationships with our selves and also with food are like coiled springs- the more pressure you apply, the more pressure builds up and so with the slightest "slip", the harder the spring bounces back. So the more pressure you put on those relationships, the bigger your negative reaction when you perceive an element of failure occurring- a "slip". The less pressure you apply, the milder the reaction to a slip.
In English?
Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. NO ONES weight loss journey is perfect. No journey to anywhere is perfect. Imagine if you got to goal without any hurdles. What sense of achievement is there? What incentive to stay there? It's the ver coming of the barriers and the continuance of self belief that leads for the greatest rewards. This not wanting to do anything positive when you perceive you've had a slip is a way of punishing yourself. Stop it! You don't need punishing. You need to be your own biggest cheerleader.
Stop leaning on your spring so much and accept that this journey is a long and bumpy one, but one definitely worth doing.

This is something I need to work on!

I have had a few weeks/months on the SW journey where I have binges - last being only a week ago. I went away and thought bugger it....pizza, alcohol, yum yums, indian, chinese...all in a week (note the missed weigh-in as I couldn't face it). But honestly the only way I ever get back on track is through the gym and exercise. When I exercise I no longer want to put that stuff in my mouth and the cravings go. I'm back on track and the gym wins hands down on helping me achieve my eventual target weight. Getting off the couch is very difficult, but it's either that or a world of unhappiness and an ever-increasing gut! Hope you find the strength you know you have xx

This is true, when I exercise I want to eat better. When I don't eat right it affects my performance.

 

[lady loser]

If you keep saying no to certain foods you will long for them more. After a while the longing will get so bad that you will go off on a binge which will make you feel worse. I was like this for a long time. I found that you need to eat a min of 5 syns each day on sw to loose weight. I use my syns on the following - nice sauces for my dinner - keep trying different low syns ones so your not eating the same meals always.
I also use my syns for nice sweet things ie ww ginger biscuts 4 syns, walkers french fries 4 syns a bag, ice pops for 80 cals (4 syns) or even a small amount of choclate - ie children's size ones. I have lost over 3 and half stone and like you I still have a few stone to lose. I found that with ww I was yo-yo for months, that I was hungry and I hated weighing and measuring food always. I have had a few bad weeks like what you are going through at the moment but rather than give up I got advice from my consultant, tried eating more free foods, tried different recipies and eat a min of 5 syns each day. Good Luck and remember just how far you come since you started your journey.

 

[gazter]

Hi all, I don't post that much but I've been really struggling at the moment. The way SW works for me is to be strict e.g. no alcohol or chocolate, cakes etc. I promised myself I would do it this way until I reached my target and then introduce these things back in. I am an all or nothing girl I cant have just one chocolate bar etc. Where I went wrong was to start allowing myself treats and basically it got out of hand and I've been struggling for a month and a half ish. I even got voted my groups woman of the year but I feel like I should give it back, like I don't deserve it. Its like I've gone on self destruct and I m so scared Ill carry on and put all my weight back on. When I first did SW 3 years ago I lost 2st 9.5lb and I started to think "I can handle a treat" but it got out of hand and I went on self destruct, put all my weight back on and more, taking me to my highest ever.

How do you stop the cycle happening again???

I feel like I've blown everything and I might as well give up now. I feel like Ill never get to my target, it just feels so far away. I put on 4lb a month and a half ago then got back on it for a couple of weeks then started messing around again. I keep saying "one more day to get it out of my system". But I know from experience that one more day is never enough, you have to nip it in the bud now. I keep thinking to myself "how did I get my head into the game ?" "How did I resist the cravings so that they didn't bother me too much?" At the moment the cravings for junk are so big I just keep giving in. Also I just i'm not enjoying the SW food at the moment, everything I make or think of making is just boring. I wanted to switch to WW for a bit but my DH really wants me to stick to SW. I feel abit trapped in SW TBH. My DH wants me to stick to SW because I have messed around dieting for 10yrs and im finally getting somewhere and he is scared if I try something else, it wont work and I definately will put everything back on. I totally understand this I can see where hes coming from but I just cant get it out of my head that I need a change. But I dont know if its such a good idea.

Being strict works for me, I just cant use my syns on treat food. Ill do SW alternatives, but eating the real deal I just cannot do with self control. I want to get back to how I did it to get this far. I need to get strict. Any tips on how I can get my head back in the game? Or do I need to allow myself treats within syns? Have I been too strict taht I've cracked? I just dont know what to do!

Sorry for the long post but I really felt I needed to post as sometimes it's hard to say how you really feel and asking for help is hard as you feel like your a failure. I need help, I need to learn how to not let this happen again!

Thanks in advance

I know where you are coming from, in the sense that it's all or nothing. I treat myself, but I have avoided the real treats like cake, fish and chips, pizza etc. Because I know that it would lead somewhere unpleasant. I just do not see them. I do not put the temptation in my way. The control is in the shopping, and refusing to order in take aways.

There has been times (many) when i have been tempted, but i have managed to get control over my needs for immediate gratification. I plan my diet diversions.

I can treat myself, but knowing that i am staying 100%, lets me get it out of my system. I have posted before about my love of sausage sandwiches. I dont have those pathetic crappy thin slices of disgusting presliced thin hovis loafs, i do it properly. A nice big sandwich with a fresh uncut wholemeal loaf that i cut big monster slices, and put low fat sausages on them. *To me* this is heaven, it might use up most of a days syn, but its over with for several weeks.

The best motivation you can find for yourself is, you know that it works. You have had great losses. You are the stage where most people notice, but you know what, you are close to that stage where you are no longer 'the really fat person who lost a few pounds so now is not so fat', but you are only a couple of stone away from being that person 'wow, you were five stone heavier? I cant imagine you fat'.

Can you imagine how good it is to meet someone for the first time, they not think of you as fat (lets be honest, thats the first thing people notice) and them be amazed (and not quite believe )that you once weighed almost nineteen stone?