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Struggling with Driving Lessons

#1
I'm having driving lessons again after about a 12 year break and I'm struggling with them, I have one today but I don't want to go :(

I don't enjoy driving and I get very nervous, I've only have about 5 lessons and they all seem to have gaps inbeween them because I'm either ill or the kids are ill or something else happens so the nevous feeling builds up all over again - I know I need to stop letting things get in the way as a nice excuse to get out of lessons!

Any advice? Will I feel better after a few more lessons?
 
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#2
Gosh that sounds so sad.

If you are so nervous and dislike it so much, do you really need to drive ??

Personally I can not imagine a life without the freedom that driving gives you.

You have to weigh the pro's and cons of your nerves and your obvious fear with what driving will give you when you do pass your test.

Good Luck !!!!
 
#3
I'm having driving lessons again after about a 12 year break and I'm struggling with them, I have one today but I don't want to go :(

I don't enjoy driving and I get very nervous, I've only have about 5 lessons and they all seem to have gaps inbeween them because I'm either ill or the kids are ill or something else happens so the nevous feeling builds up all over again - I know I need to stop letting things get in the way as a nice excuse to get out of lessons!

Any advice? Will I feel better after a few more lessons?
hi lillycherry, don't give up. it took me 5 years various gaps in between to finally take test. first test completely freaked out, 2nd test cancelled due to snow, 3rd test passed. it was the best feeling ever.

before lessions i would get really sick, upset tum and not want to go. i kept on making excusses why i couldn't have lessions. basically i was scared of the driving instructor making negative comments about my driving. i am a perfectionist, annoyingly so and hate been critized. i found the strength, by visualising the freedom I would have when passed test.

passed my test 8 may 2009, 4 days after birthday. 1 year 6 months. love driving the freedom i feel now not having to depend on oh or friends is great. and when oh working can take stepson out to pictures, swimming, fun parties etc. i am 35 the older I get the hardard it is for me to learn things. don't give up, speak to driving instructor about your feelings. if they are a good one, they will listern and advise.

good luck. sweetie.
 
#5
Thank you ladies! nita thank you for sharing your experience that gives me hope!

I could probably manage not driving, I have so far, but reading Anitas post has reminded me why I'm doing this!

I'll try to have a chat with my instructor today.
 
#6
I know how you feel, I first learnt to drive when I was 20 but gave it up as I was saving to get married..( the driving would have worked out eventually, the marriage didnt)..but when I moved to Ireland in 2002 I was 7 miles from the nearest shop with no public transport and after a year of being dependent in hubby ( the 2nd hubby that is) decided I didnt have a choice ( we lived half way up a mountain in the back of beyond), I started driving proper in 2003 and took my test in 2004... you have to wait ages and ages for tests in Ireland...I took my test on a Thursday morning and on the Monday my Dad had a stroke so the following Thursday ( I week after my test) I drove myself back to the UK from Ireland....I was 46 years old.....and petrified...moving to the USA last year was like starting all over again as I had to take a test, which I did after only going out on the roads here 3 times, but it took me 1 year and 2months to pluck up the courage to drive on the interstate.....its worse than the M25 and 3 times as big....all I can say is keep trying you may even find you come to love driving...I did, my only regret is not learning proper and having a car until my mid 50's.....I really dont know how I managed so long without and in time you will think the same...Good Luck
 

Lou*

Silver Member
#7
defo talk to your instructor i bet your not the first person to feel like this, I hated driving at first even once i passed my test ! then as i became natural i love it !
 
#8
with losing weight, you set your target and you want to reach it so you can wear all those lovely clothes and look drop dead gorgeous in the mirror every morning. with driving, you want to pass, get a car, get insurance, get independent. think about all the things you'll be able to do if you have your own transport! you can do whatever you want, whenever you want - no relying on others for lifts and favours etc. i passed one year, two weeks, and six days ago. since then, i have driven my dad's car 10 metres forward in the drive and then reversed it back again! that's it :( i don't feel i ever struggled, i just loved having those two hours on a friday night with my amazing instructor, i never felt uncomfortable or scared, never once wanted to give up... i liked the me time while i was in the car and the me time i knew id get eventually one day when i was in my own car. don't give up hun, please keep at it and i hope your instructor was of help to you earlier, xxxxxxxxx
 
#9
I hated driving lessons, and would get so nervous in tests I didn't know what I was doing. I eventually was given valium to get me through the test, the 6th one, and passed! I ahven't looked back. I can't imagine not driving. I ahve driven all over the world, up mountains with sheer drops, on huuuggee motorways, round busy cities. I promise, once you've passed, you'll soon grow in confidence
 
#10
I HATED driving & was a nervous wreck for my first ten lessons. Started doing them one a week Then 2 a week & started to gain confidence. Was in a bad crash years ago so was always nervous passenger. Stick with it. It's worth every min xxx
(passed first time after 20 lessons)
Hi Lil Cherry, first of all 'Well Done' on continuing with the lessons even tho it is so hard for you. I started my driving lessons when I was 40. I kept dropping hints to DH about learning to drive. Also as his parents were generous about presents I even hinted that he suggest a gift of lessons from them! As you may gather DH doesn't pick up hints, even obvious ones :rolleyes:

I eventually asked myself why I was doing this and discovered that I did want to drive but was just too nervous and anxious but at the same time realised that only I could make this happen. I arranged for 10 lessons immediately. I was petrified (of course) but I kept at it even tho' my friends didn't encourage me :sigh:

I decided to use a logical approach which works for me and took a good hard look at other drivers and realised that driving was just a skill they had learned and not a talent special to them and therefore anybody could learn to drive. When other drivers beeped at me or when I made a mistake, I forced myself to see that I was learning this new skill and therefore would make lots of mistakes because I was a learner and not yet proficient.

After the 10 lessons, the instructor insisted that I try driving alone, explaining that it is better to do this asap so that no passenger can see my mistakes! I didn't take my test immediately, I even cancelled the first one :eek:. After about 18 months, I took several pre-test lessons and drove around the testing area several times a week. I think that this was the *key* for me as I was so familiar with the area, that on the day of the test I was able to just concentrate of driving. Incidentally I live in Wicklow and it has the 2nd highest failure rate in all of Ireland and I passed 1st time!!!

So remember you can do anything you set your mind to. Accept that you are anxious, but your desire to drive is stronger. I really wish you the best of luck. Remember it is just a skill that you are learing and "practice makes perfect"

Marian xx
 
#11
After the 10 lessons, the instructor insisted that I try driving alone, explaining that it is better to do this asap so that no passenger can see my mistakes! I didn't take my test immediately, I even cancelled the first one :eek:.

Just to point out to the folks in the UK that in Ireland up until a few years ago it was legal to drive on a provisional licence on your own....no longer legal but the wait times for driving tests and the fail rate is so high everyone still does it.....the guardi in most places will just give a caution if you are caught...
 
#12
Just to point out to the folks in the UK that in Ireland up until a few years ago it was legal to drive on a provisional licence on your own....no longer legal but the wait times for driving tests and the fail rate is so high everyone still does it.....the guardi in most places will just give a caution if you are caught...
Thanks for pointing this out and apologies if my post was misleading in relation to the driving laws. I was just highlighting the fact that I was so nervous of making mistakes and someone in the car seeing them :eek:
 
#13
Thanks for pointing this out and apologies if my post was misleading in relation to the driving laws. I was just highlighting the fact that I was so nervous of making mistakes and someone in the car seeing them :eek:
 
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#15
Thanks for pointing this out and apologies if my post was misleading in relation to the driving laws. I was just highlighting the fact that I was so nervous of making mistakes and someone in the car seeing them :eek:
I totally know where your coming from I am exactly the same.....and after moving from the UK to Ireland the fact I could drive on a provisional licence scared the crap out of me but in one way its good as you dont really learn until you are on your own....btw I still dont like to drive with anyone in the car with me especially hubby as he has been driving since he was 17..and I always get the feeling he is watching for my mistakes...LOL
 
#17
Thank you for all the kind replies ladies.

My lesson last week was cancelled in the end so i haven't spoken to my instructor yet, you've all helped me to feel much better though, hopefully if i keep at it I'll feel calmer xx
 

judimac

Mad old Bat with Attitude
#18
My father taught me when I was 17, but used to dissect the lessons for hours afterwards, so when I failed I wouldn't get back in the car again.
The thing that made me learn was the girl across the road from me had to get her family to take her to hospital when her husband was very ill, and I knew I'd have to get 2 buses there and back if it happened to me.
I was 38, and I hated every minute of it. I used to wake up at 5 am praying that it would be cancelled! I failed my first test and was SO angry I put in straight away for a cancellation. It was 10 o clock on a saturday morning in Newcastle under Lyme. Pandemonium! But I passed! And now I love driving! I lived in southern Ireland for a while and would have been really stuck cos we were out in the sticks!
Grit your teeth, tell yourself that you MUST be better than most drivers. One day it will all "click" and become automatic. Remember you can't be fluent after a couple of language lessons! Good luck!
 


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