Struggling

[SharonA_1970]

Ok so here's the thing. I have been doing LL since the beginning of May. I have had great success with it but the last three or four weeks I have really been messing about. I even put on 5 lbs one week. I have struggled to stay in abstinance and don't really know what to do for the best. I think deep down I am scared. I am teetering and the brink of going down to 12 stone something, this is the lowest I have been in 10 years and lower than I have been since before I met my partner. Its almost like a mental block that seems to be sabotaging me into getting under 13 stone and I can't figure out why. It's like I am scared. I have this new found confidence, my other half sees me differently and I think I am scared of the person I am becoming.

It's really bizarrre how we have these crooked ways of thinking. I have gone from a size 24 in trousers to a size 16 jeans. From a 44DD to a 38F. Made massive changes to my health and levels of fitness. All things that should spur me on to do well but I just can't seem to get past this point. I really have no idea how I am going to get on. I keep mentally saying to myself ok tomorrow I will be really good, 4 litres of water, 4 shakes and maybe the gym but I just never make tomorrow happen.

I don't expect any miracle solutions just wanted to put it all into words in the vain hope that it might help me refocus

 

[Minnie64]

Hi Sharon
Sorry to hear you are struggling. Do you think maybe you were "hiding" behind being overweight? Is your other half still supportive of what you are doing or it maybe he is "planting" thoughts in your head saying you are a different person because maybe he is feeling a little insecure of how you are changing in your appearance I mean. As you have becoming slimmer, I imagine you have also become much more confident and certainly more outgoing? You have to remember you are doing this for you not only for appearance but for the health side of things too.

Are you wanting to lose much more weight?

Good luck xxxxxxxxx

 

[Daisydee]

Sharon

Somewhere on this forum there is a really good thread on Self-sabotage - have a look for it and it may help you resolve some of these feelings.

Good luck - you have sone brilliantly - don't sacrifice all of your hard work.

Daisydee x

 

[Frejja]

Sharon, I really feel for you. This seems to be a common experience...although I haven't got to that stage yet.

I know from experience that we blame a lot of things on our weight and it can be quite scary (for your subconscious) to know that we'll have nothing to blame our problems on any more. I think that may be a problem for me in the future (tho' may not be your reason!).

Can't really help except to send you positive vibes...good luck!
F

 

[Juliakno]

Hi Sharon!
I can so emphasize with how you feel. I am another May starter and after having breezed through foundation and the first few weeks of development have struggled massively in the last couple of weeks to stay abstinent. I have wrecked my brain trying to work out the why's and triggers and excuses and anything else that keeps me from being as resolved as I was in the early days.

One big thing for me was the uncertainty of how long I would actually need to do development, after being focused on the 100 days it sort of had me falling into a big black hole of "how much longer". I spoke to my counsellor about this and we agreed initially to do a one-month challenge, and have now changed it to a weekly challenge, which helps in keeping me motivated, if not all of the week at least about 4-5 days of it.

Also, I had to re-examine my goals (or the lack thereof), as I was a bit all over the place, one minute focusing on BMI, then on weight, then on dress size, my health and so on. Again, had a chat with LLC and now have set my final goal as being a size 12. Now again, this has helped me to refocus, but I would be lying if I said I am doing LL properly.

The nice things about these slip-ups is that we can learn a lot from them, and it is important to learn from them rather than beating ourselves up over not being able to do this. Keep in mind this is a very unnatural way of living for us human beings, not eating, and I am sure that one factor of my increasing weakness of being able to resist is the fact that after 5 months I actually want to taste food again (BUT I can't use this as an excuse as I have agreed and committed myself to finish this programme, so I know what I should be doing whether I like it or not). Combined with a lot of old triggers which when thrown at me all at once make me want to throw the towel and just eat, eat eat, but I am getting better at controlling them and doing some form of damage limitation, which I think will be helpful once I go into management.

You are actually able to identify and acknowledge some of the reasons why you sabotage yourself, now that is a great step in the right direction. Did you have a chat with LLC about any of this???

I don't know if any of the above is of any help to you but just want to encourage you to hang in there and that you are not alone in your struggles.

 

[Greenockgal]

Hi Sharon, I totally understand where you are coming from, I'm in the same position. I started LL on 5th June, so my 100 days has just passed, I've lost 5 stone, and now I can't seem to get focussed at all! Every week there is a lapse of some sort, nothing major, a slice of ham here, a spoonful of huby's dinner there, so not total gorging, but last week was enough to knock me out of ketosis and lose only a pound.

I think we're in the same boat, I'm afraid I can't really offer much advice, apart from have you got the contact details of your fellow dieters in the class? We are texting each other, and one of the girls (Dawn) has set up a Google chat - way complicated for me!! But it's great to go on there and share our feelings!

I find this site great too, loads of support!!

Fingers crossed that we can all get over this hurdle together, and onwards and downwards!!!




xx

 

[Eileen]

ive just had two bad weeks too, i got through my 100 days easy, but im really struggling now, im not eating a lot but nibbling a lot. I wonder why?
For 2 weeks our llc has been on holiday so theres been no class just drop in, maybe thats got a lot too do with it.