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Support needed :(

S: 19st8lb C: 13st13lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 32.4 Loss: 5st9lb(28.83%)
#1
I Wouldn't ever usually post something this personal for lovely strangers to see.. but I've had just about enough.
I've been overweight most of my life, I'm young and finally, I've plucked up the courage to do something about it.
I've lost just over 5 stone yet my brother says to me, whilst he's having a go at me for something I haven't done and to really get at me/hurt my feelings he said "are you dieting cos you feel ashamed of yourself, whatever, you may be dieting but you're still fat"
This is personal but I could do with some support :(
I thought I was starting to look different and I felt happier about the way I looked but now I feel awful again :(
Dearie me.
Thanks,
Juju xx
 
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Trueleame

Determind dieter :D
S: 20st1.3lb C: 20st1.3lb G: 17st2lb Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#2
juju...its very easy for family to attack you by chosing your weight as the issue! If it has been something that has upset you previously they know this and know if they say anything about your weight it will rake up old feelings. After losing 5stone there is no way that you'll look like you use to. What size were you if you don't mind me asking and what size are you now???

Look at how amazingly well you've done to lose 5stone...Don't let your brother derail ALL your hard work! Hate to say it but ...he's not worth getting upset over honey ~hugs tightly~ x x x
 
S: 19st8lb C: 13st13lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 32.4 Loss: 5st9lb(28.83%)
#3
Trueleame said:
juju...its very easy for family to attack you by chosing your weight as the issue! If it has been something that has upset you previously they know this and know if they say anything about your weight it will rake up old feelings. After losing 5stone there is no way that you'll look like you use to. What size were you if you don't mind me asking and what size are you now???

Look at how amazingly well you've done to lose 5stone...Don't let your brother derail ALL your hard work! Hate to say it but ...he's not worth getting upset over honey ~hugs tightly~ x x x

Aw thank you very much, you're so kind :) that was just what I needed to hear.
It hurt because I have worked so hard these past months not to eat and to lose the weight, but he still had the cheek to still call me fat, he knows how it makes me feel, he's said it plenty of times before. It made me so angry because I had done nothing wrong in the first place for him to get that nasty.
I'm used to being called it, it's just a shock after not being called it for so many months I thought I was looking better and my confidence had grown a lot.

I started at a size 24 and I am now an 18, size 18 clothes are a little big but I am not yet a 16 on the bottom :D

Thanks again m'lovely, you've cheered me up a lot xx
 

Trueleame

Determind dieter :D
S: 20st1.3lb C: 20st1.3lb G: 17st2lb Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#4
Juju ..also another thought ...have you gone from the other side...not knowing you or your brother...could he be everso slightly jealous of how well your doing??? Perhaps other family members might be singing your praises and he's the lil green eye monster so was a perfect time to vent at you?

Wow...you've done amazingly well ...I was a 24 so know what that looks like ...I'm in 20's now so can't even imagine what you'll look like at 18's ;) ...don't let it throw you ...it would boost me even more and make me wanna stick two fingers up to him ;) ...get to goal and you'll be happy/content/proud of your achievement....what will he of done in the same amount of time??? x x x always happy to give support when needed honey x x x
 
S: 19st8lb C: 13st13lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 32.4 Loss: 5st9lb(28.83%)
#5
Trueleame said:
Juju ..also another thought ...have you gone from the other side...not knowing you or your brother...could he be everso slightly jealous of how well your doing??? Perhaps other family members might be singing your praises and he's the lil green eye monster so was a perfect time to vent at you?

Wow...you've done amazingly well ...I was a 24 so know what that looks like ...I'm in 20's now so can't even imagine what you'll look like at 18's ;) ...don't let it throw you ...it would boost me even more and make me wanna stick two fingers up to him ;) ...get to goal and you'll be happy/content/proud of your achievement....what will he of done in the same amount of time??? x x x always happy to give support when needed honey x x x
Haha so true, the only thing is. He's very slim and tall.
I liked my food too much lol.
My mum and nan are always telling me how well I'm doing, I get nothing from my dad it really hurt for him to say that to me.

Aww hehe thank you :D
I'm hoping to be a 14/16 by Christmas. You're not far beind me! Go us :D!!
You're right, I should just ignore him. I'm a completely different person to what I was when I started. I'm not going to let him hurt me or knock my confidence any more than he already has.

Thank you very much for your support, I feel much better now :) xxx
 

Trueleame

Determind dieter :D
S: 20st1.3lb C: 20st1.3lb G: 17st2lb Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#6
Go "us" :D we can do this :D

I have very negative parental and grandparentals about my weight...so I've tunned them out for years. I told them recently that I'm doing this diet...they can only say nice things about how I look now...but I've told them they CANNOT ask about my weight or how much I've lost! I will tell them when I'm ready :) it seems to be working very nicely for me. My dad is useless about making compliments I think its a man thing honey ;) don't get disheartened by it. Glad your feeling a bit brighter you've done so well ....Keep it up honey :) x x x
 

Deezer

Gold Member
S: 20st11lb C: 14st4lb G: 12st7lb BMI: 32.3 Loss: 6st7lb(31.27%)
#7
OMG.... Where do you live i'm gonna smack him in the gob!!!

Hun.... it says more about him that you that he chooses something so chilish to throw in your face.... You can (And are) changing your weight.... Whats he going to do about his vile attitude??? Oooooh RAGE!! hahaha!!

But seriously... he has just picked something that will hurt you.... now don't let him win by thinking bout it anymore.... Gorget about it!! As you lovely..... are not fat.... Maybe not quite where you want to be.... but close!!! He's jealous and just being immature!!!

Ignore it sweetie!! 5 Stone is something to be proud of... don't let him upset you!!!

Much love and stregth to you hunni!! x
 
S: 19st8lb C: 13st13lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 32.4 Loss: 5st9lb(28.83%)
#8
Deezer said:
OMG.... Where do you live i'm gonna smack him in the gob!!!

Hun.... it says more about him that you that he chooses something so chilish to throw in your face.... You can (And are) changing your weight.... Whats he going to do about his vile attitude??? Oooooh RAGE!! hahaha!!

But seriously... he has just picked something that will hurt you.... now don't let him win by thinking bout it anymore.... Gorget about it!! As you lovely..... are not fat.... Maybe not quite where you want to be.... but close!!! He's jealous and just being immature!!!

Ignore it sweetie!! 5 Stone is something to be proud of... don't let him upset you!!!

Much love and stregth to you hunni!! x
Haha not too far from you actually Dee,
I know, I don't understand why he said it. I was sticking up for my younger sister because they were arguing about something and all of a sudden he starts picking on me.
He made me so angry, I know I've done quite well because in the past I've only ever lost 5lbs at the most and 5 stone is a big achievement for me :D
Thank you both, I feel a lot better now. I felt stupid because I started crying, he could've said anything about me but to pick on me for my weight really hurt.
I love this forum so many supportive, kind people :D:D
xx
 

WeeDee

Silver Member
S: 16st8lb C: 14st1.5lb G: 13st9lb BMI: 30.9 Loss: 2st6.5lb(14.87%)
#9
Hi Hun. I totally understand how you feel right now. I have a brother and I know how easy it is for either one of us to pick on the others weak points when in an argument. It was awful what he said but I bet you he feels bad for saying it (so not defending him here) but pride gets in the way sometimes. And while the folk closest tonus can hurt us the most I bet you you have no bigger supporter than him. Please don't let someone's careless words get you down. You have done so amazingly well so remember that and annoy him by rising above it and not letting him know he upset you. Chin up, everyone is here for you and He will be too, he's just being an idiot which is common in men. Xx
 
S: 19st8lb C: 13st13lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 32.4 Loss: 5st9lb(28.83%)
#10
pamdev said:
Hi Hun. I totally understand how you feel right now. I have a brother and I know how easy it is for either one of us to pick on the others weak points when in an argument. It was awful what he said but I bet you he feels bad for saying it (so not defending him here) but pride gets in the way sometimes. And while the folk closest tonus can hurt us the most I bet you you have no bigger supporter than him. Please don't let someone's careless words get you down. You have done so amazingly well so remember that and annoy him by rising above it and not letting him know he upset you. Chin up, everyone is here for you and He will be too, he's just being an idiot which is common in men. Xx
Thank you very much :D
I agree with you but if he felt bad at all he wouldn't of come back in laughing.
He's 19, he shouldn't treat people like that. Thankfully I'm the complete opposite.
Most men are idiots lol.
Thanks Hun xx
 

ElectricLilac

Like a Renegade Master
S: 18st8lb C: 11st5lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 25.7 Loss: 7st3lb(38.85%)
#11
oh Juju xxx please don't let his cruel words get you down, what he said isn't true he just knew it would hurt you ! You were a stunning girl at your biggest let alone now, you beautiful creature you !
 
S: 19st8lb C: 13st13lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 32.4 Loss: 5st9lb(28.83%)
#13
oh Juju xxx please don't let his cruel words get you down, what he said isn't true he just knew it would hurt you ! You were a stunning girl at your biggest let alone now, you beautiful creature you !
My oh my Lilac, you inspire me so much :D
You all do.
Thank you very much hehe, it means a lot :D:D xxx
 
S: 19st8lb C: 13st13lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 32.4 Loss: 5st9lb(28.83%)
#14
Juju... 5 stone off is an amazing achievement! Family always knows where to hit u where it hurts. Keep going chick... U are doing incredibly well. Stay strong and rise above xx
I know hehe, well it is for me. That's why I was so angry because I thought I had done so well and I've actually started throwing all my bigger clothes out. But I will take your advice and stay strong :D
Thank you xx
 

ElectricLilac

Like a Renegade Master
S: 18st8lb C: 11st5lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 25.7 Loss: 7st3lb(38.85%)
#15
no "thought" about it, You ARE doing well, and don't you forget it missy x
 
S: 10st9lb C: 9st11lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 22.1 Loss: 0st12lb(8.05%)
#16
Hi juju

When I was younger and overweight my brother always used to call me fat and other horrible fat related names. I really don't think he realised how hurtful he was being. Then I lost all my weight, felt great about myself but still he called me names- skinny and other skinny related names!! I realised I could not win with him and he was just being an annoying brother!!

Just ignore him, I've realised that people who put others down are just projecting their own insecurities. You have lost 5 stone which is an amazing achievement. Be proud of yourself for the weight that you've lost and keep doing what you have been doing :)
 

uklady

Full Member
S: 19st2.5lb C: 16st10lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 41.4 Loss: 2st6.5lb(12.85%)
#17
Oh my goodness juju ... I wish I had been here to contribute to this last week... hopefully you have been encouraged and you're OK now xxx
 
S: 19st8lb C: 13st13lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 32.4 Loss: 5st9lb(28.83%)
#18
uklady said:
Oh my goodness juju ... I wish I had been here to contribute to this last week... hopefully you have been encouraged and you're OK now xxx
It was horrible Linda :(
But I'm feeling much better now, thank you :D
So glad I have this forum and lovely people to talk to on here about things like that xxx
 

Mrs jk

Full Member
S: 11st8.5lb C: 9st13.5lb G: 9st4lb BMI: 22.5 Loss: 1st9lb(14.15%)
#19
Juju that's awful- sounds like jealousy. People get insecure when you actually are losing weight. Don't let him bring you down, use what he said a fuel for your fire... use it to motivate you to prove him wrong and make him eat his words!!
 
S: 19st8lb C: 13st13lb G: 11st6lb BMI: 32.4 Loss: 5st9lb(28.83%)
#20
Mrs jk said:
Juju that's awful- sounds like jealousy. People get insecure when you actually are losing weight. Don't let him bring you down, use what he said a fuel for your fire... use it to motivate you to prove him wrong and make him eat his words!!
Thank you very much.
Haha, good advice m'lovely.. that is exactly what I will do :D x
 


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