The Battle Of the Bulge - week 3!

Discussion in 'Weight Loss Diaries' started by QueenOfTheDamned, 24 May 2010 Social URL.

  1. QueenOfTheDamned

    QueenOfTheDamned Full Member

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    i've been lurking around here for the past week or so but haven't posted until now. first of all i'd like to say what an inspiring place, and what amazing people. reading about some of your stories has given me the kick up the ass to finally get started with it. this is the last time i'll say "diet starts monday", nope, it starts right now (okay, its coinicidence its a monday, lol :D).

    firstly a bit about myself, my name's Bev and i'm 24 years old. 2 years ago i graduated from uni with a law degree, full of dreams of an exciting future, and since then everything pretty much fell apart. since i left uni i've had 3 jobs and got made redundant from them all, inbetween them i guess i just sat around home moping and eating, heck, some days i didnt get out of bed. infact, not some days, most days. i completely lost my will to live, everything seemed like a neverending series of diasappointments and dreams that would never come true. i know this sounds awfully morbid for a period of unemployment, but until i left uni my entire life revolved around success. i got straight A's in every exam i ever sat, a first class law degree from a top uni and i was accepted into mensa. i never in my life imagined that i could end up on benefits and falling into depression and a cycle of comfort eating that would leave me morbidly obese. well, i was never exactly skinny, and i always wanted to lose weight, but i just got on the scales and i weigh 23st 5lbs (327lbs) :cry:like, thats huge :rolleyes: i wiehg more than i ever weighed in my life and i feel completely deflated and crushed. but hey, not as crushed as the chair im sitting on right now i'm guessing :D

    for a while i denied i had a problem at all, but last week my luck changed, i got an amazing job working in insurance, and i start in 3 weeks time! i want to lose as much i can before i start and then i want to incorporate exercise and healthy eating into my life. i dont want to be the fat girl anymore. i want to be successful, slim and happy. for a long time i didn't value myself enough to belive i could be all three, but now i know i've been selling myself short. i dont want to be trapped in a prison of fat. i want to be beautiful on the inside and the outside.

    i guess for the first time in my life, i want to exist and not just live. so this is my story. and i hope to make some wonderful friends on the way, because there will be times when i want to quit, and there will be times when i want to give in. heck, the prospect of losing that weight is daunting in itself. but ive made a committment, and im going to do it.

    so yeah, thats the easy part, SAYING im going to do it.. now comes the hard part, which is basically LOSING over half my body weight! :rolleyes: i wanted to tell you my background a little because for me the journey isn't physical, its emotional, i've battled depression my entire life and i feel in order to lose the weight i have to tackle the problem mentally as well as physically. so this wont just be a diary of calories and foods, its my journey to discover myself for the very first time.

    well, with that part over, i guess i should start with some figures and tell you my plan!

    height: 5ft 9"
    weight: 23st 5lbs (327lbs) - not my OFFICAL starting weight as i'll weigh myself in the morning and consistently do this every week.
    BMI: 48.3 (yikes, im practically a ball :rolleyes:)
    starting date: 24/5/2010
    goal weight
    goal weight: 140lbs
    TOTAL TO LOSE - 187lbs

    well, no point getting daunted by it anymore! but as you can see, i'll be on this journey for a while! i have no idea how long it will take to lose 187lbs... but for me to do it in a year i'd have to lose 3.5lbs a WEEK, and don't the experts say you should only lose 2lbs a month to be "safe"? in which case it would take me 2 years! but hey, it takes as long as it takes, and ill work as hard as i can to make sure i lose it as quickly as possible, while being sensible of course.

    MY PLAN
    counting calories - 1500 calories every day
    exercise - swimming, walking, cycling and join a gym (once i get paid from my new job, gyms are expensive things especially with the 12 month commitment)
    write down everything i eat and post it in my diary
    work out the calories i burn through exercise every day
    get weighed every monday morning soon as i get up
    use this site as much as possible to get support and inspiration

    if anyone's bothered reading this far, thank you, you truely have the patience of a saint!

    well, i wrote all this at 4am, i was laid in bed kinda excited about starting my plan tomorrow and i decided to make a diary.

    tomorrow im going to get up for 9.30am (i know not a very long sleep) and go to the swimming pool for 10am. i dont want my fat ass to get in lycra, infact its probably on my list of LEAST enjoyable things to do EVER, but hopefully on a mondya mornign at 10am the only people in the pool will be oldies with bad eyesight or something.. heck, i hope i dont give any of them a heart attack when they seem my fat ass crammed into one of evans "super slimmer" swimming costumes :D hmm, another thing about me, i use sarcasm as a defence mechanism, im actually shitting myself about going swimming, but really whats the worst that can happen? i mean surely im not that fat that i break the pool :rolleyes:

    right, well im gonna lurk around here a little more and then go to bed, DAY 1 starts fromw hen i wake up, though i dont plan on eating anything bad before then. ooh and ill try and sort out on fo those nifty ticker things, they look pretty cool! :)
     
    Last edited: 9 June 2010
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  3. 366to266

    366to266 Wanna lose 100lb

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    I just wanted to say that I go swimming in my size 32 costume, and that's so tight it almost hurts, and with wobbly 69 inch hips i waddle from changing room to pool, nobody stares, nobody ever makes any remark, young or old, male or female. So don't worry about that. Nobody at the pool gives a toss what you look like or weigh as they are too busy worrying about themselves.

    Helena
     
  4. landie_sparkly

    landie_sparkly Full Member

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    Thanks for your honest and personal story - I truly believe you can change things around, and the new job sounds like a perfect start to the new you. I recognised a lot of what you said, and think we all struggle with emotional demons as well as food ones, but there are so many inspirational people here, there will be plenty of support for you on your journey.
    Like you, I had a bit of an epiphany moment about 7 weeks ago, and chose to take control back. No more comfort eating, feeling sorry and ashamed, and I have never been happier.
    Eating less, exercising more has been my chosen path, and I use the foodfocus website - a fantastic tool that counts the calories you eat, and the exercise you do, so you know exactly where you are at any point in the day. And it's free!
    So, 7 weeks in, with a target of 1200 to 1400 calories a day (more if I exercise), and I've lost 13lbs. And it's not been that difficult. I've eaten really well, and am enjoying knowing that I am doing something to change.
    Best of luck, I know you can do it!
     
  5. Shrinking_Bev

    Shrinking_Bev Likes to eat.........alot

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    Hi Bev and :welcome: to Minimins
    First of all congrats on your new job, that's great! Just the thing to lift your spirits and get you off to a good start with your weight loss journey. And a big well done on your decision to go swimming. I'm still trying to pluck up the courage to go, so I know how hard that 'first time' can feel.........however, you and Desperate (thanks Desperate) have inspired me to finally take the plunge and go this week! :D
    Where abouts in South Yorkshire do you live? I live in West Yorkshire, but I'm right on the border to South Yorkshire - May see you at the pool! lol

    Having so much weight to lose IS daunting, there's no doubt about it. It does help to take it one goal at a time - stone by stone, (whatever is easiest for you to handle) one step at a time. You can and will do it!!

    This is a great place to be for support and advice and I'm sure you will find plenty of inspiration in these thread. I've spent hours reading through posts, so much so, that my hoover thinks I'm on strike! lol

    Anyway, thanks for sharing your story with us and good luck on your weight loss journey. Keep us posted! xxx
     
  6. Ria.

    Ria. Silver Member

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    Welcome to minimins bev. and thank you for sharing your story with us. Im sure you will do fine, we're all here to support you and i know i will be checking in to see how your doing!

    Good luck with your swimming this morning! x
     
  7. Nicci-

    Nicci- Member

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    Ah you sound just like me. Hope swimming went ok :), you're very brave, I haven't got the courage to go yet even though I absolutely love swimming! Hope day 1 of your diet has started off well. I'm on day 3 (the first time I've got to day 3 of a diet for many years, so this is the one!) I'll be looking forward to hearing about your great 1st weigh in result in a week's time x
     
  8. QueenOfTheDamned

    QueenOfTheDamned Full Member

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    first of all a big thanks to everyone who has read this so far and has commented on it!

    desperate360 - yeah thats true, i guess everyone is so concerned with how they look in lyrca that they're too busy to look around at all the other people! heck, even if i was 140lbs i cant imagine EVER being comfortable walking about in a lycra swimsuit! anyways, thanks for the reassurance :)

    landi - well done, you sound like you're doing awesome so far! how are you finding the calorie controlled diet? my daily calorie target is 1500, a bit more than yours but i'm starting out a lot bigger so i guess i can lower it in time if i need to. if im doing as well as you are in 7 weeks time i'd be feeling VERY proud of myself! heres to hoping! *crosses fingers*

    shriking bev - yey, another Bev! :) funn you should ask actually, ebcause i'm right on the door of west yorkshire too! i live in a little place call penistone, how about you? ooh and good luck with your swimming, i'm going to mine in 2.5hrs and quite frankly im terrified! but whats the worst that can happen! im sure after uive been once i'll love it, i love being in the water and i really enjoyed swimming when i was younger, so hopefulyl it'll be a good way to burn some calories! oh, and i could easily spend hour on here reading all the stories and stuff, i'm sure i will too, especially when i need that extra bit of determination!

    ria - thanks and WOW, i just noticed you lost 48lbs! well done! :)

    nicci - well done on making it to day 3! i'm exactly the same, i start out with good intentions and then never make it past day one! but this time is different, we can do it. i'm pretty scared about the swimming but at the end of the day we only have one life and im not going to let other peoples opinions of me stop me living it how i like. for a long time i was too scared to go, but now its time to seize the day and all that! good luck with your weightloss and day 4! :)

    -------

    Day 1

    well, today my diet almost ended before it began! i was up so late planning my healthy food and excerise routine that i didnt fall asleep until 5.30AM and i MISSED the swimming at 10am (i know right, GREAT start!). well when i woke up at 12, i had two choices, i could say "oh well, ill start next monday" or "i'll make the best of it regardless" and for the first time in my life i chose the latter!

    so the first thign i did this morning was ring the swimming baths up and find out when the next session was, it turns out that it's at 8.30-9.45pm this evening, so in 2.5hrs time i'm going to go!

    after i rang the swimming baths i decided to get weighed again to confirm my starting weight, and i got a MASSIVE shock! overnight i'd lost almost an entire stone! :eek: last night i was 23st 5lbs and this morning i'm 22st 6.5lbs, i have no idea how this could have happened. i rechecked it numerous times and made sure the scale was in exactly the same place i weighed myself last night etc, but it still said 22st 6.5lbs! so this is my new starting weight, and its taught me to never get weighed at night time again either! so now i have to readjust my ticker and starting weights. im still in shock at how ilost a stone almost overnight, but hey, its a stone less to lose, so i can't complain! :D

    well, i'll write down my calories for the day so far and edit the rest later. i want to keep a log of exactly what i ate and what exercise i did because if i ever struggle i think it'll be pretty useful to be able to look back and see where it all went tits up!

    Calories Eaten (target 1500cals)
    Jacket potato with tuna, sweetcorn, light salad creme, small side salad - 510 calories
    2 slices of lightly buttered toast with half a tin of baked beans, mushrooms and 2 eggs - 585 calories
    apple - 50
    clementine- 80
    cereal- 209

    total calories eaten - 1434 cals :)

    Calories Burnt
    1hr swimming - 1424 calories (though to me that seems a bit steep but the site i found it on has a calculator which took into account my weight)
    total calories burnt - 1424

    well i'll come back and edit that later, also i'll tell you how i got on with the swimming! argh, i keep telling myself "i can do this" like i'm psyching myself up for a marathon or climbing everest, not a swim int he local pool. its funny how being fat makes you just want to be invisible sometimes, yet it has the exact opposite effect. ah well, people at that pool will just have to deal with my fat ass! tough banana's, i'm doing this! :)

    UPDATE - I DID IT! day one is compelted and i stuck to my calorie goal and my exercise goals, i also went to the supermarket and bought lots of healthy food (apples, clementines, mushrooms, red peppers, cereals etc) so im feeling pretty damn proud of myself! its funny how i get a sense of acomplishment from eating healthily and looking after myself, something which should be so natural for me feels incredibly alien! ah well, it'll get easier!

    pluses: stuck to calorie and exercise goals
    negatives: i ate cereal at 11pm, too late maybe even though it was within my targets?

    anyways, im determined to make the most of this 3 weeks before i start my new job! i think my first mini goal will be to be under the 300s for the day i start! thats 14lbs to lose in 3 weeks, we'll see if its achieveable or not, but under 300lbs is my bery first mini goal.. NEVER ever want to see that number on a scale again!

     
    Last edited: 25 May 2010
  9. gonnagetslim

    gonnagetslim size 14 here I come

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    Good luck on your journey! x
     
  10. Rigby

    Rigby Full Member

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    Best of luck to you! You sound like you're in a really positive place now to start from on this journey and it will be so worthwhile. I haven't been swimming in years, I want to go again in the not too distant future, and I hope you really enjoy it tonight :)

    Congratulations on the new job too!
     
  11. Ciara

    Ciara Full Member

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    Hi Bev and welcome to minis!

    Good luck with your journey! i'm going to be here a while too so its good to 'meet' people in a similar situation!

    A lot of people on here recommend myfitnesspal.com as a good site to find out about calories and what you burn off during exercise!

    I hope swimming goes well for ya! i used to love swimming when I was younger and hope one day to go back again! far to scared right now.
     
  12. Shrinking_Bev

    Shrinking_Bev Likes to eat.........alot

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    Hi Bev :)
    I'm only about 12 miles or so from Peniston, so not far at all.

    How are you toady? How did swimming go last night? I'm afraid I chickened out and didn't go :eek: lol BUT I've taken the bull by the horns, (I'm off work this week, so I'm being a lady of leisure lol) recruited a couple of friends and we're going to an Aqua Fit class tonight :eek::D I've got butterflies already! lol I figured if I roped a couple of friends in, they wouldn't let me chicken out this time!
     
  13. lindz24778

    lindz24778 New Member

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    Hello Bev, good luck..I too have been lurking, I may start posting now!!
     
  14. Ria.

    Ria. Silver Member

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    Hope your swimming went well Bev!
     
  15. QueenOfTheDamned

    QueenOfTheDamned Full Member

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    Day 2

    hey guys! thanks for all the messages of support, i'll reply to everyone later. tbh i'm a bit annoyed atm as i wrote a HUGE post but it timed out and when i pressed to submit it i lost all my info and had to re-log on! grr! :mad:

    well, first of all SWIMMING is AMAZING! it was daunting going in thier but after going last night i didnt even think twice about going again this morning! so im feeling pretty proud of myself atm :) i even bought a monthly swimming pass for £22 so i can go to all the sessions i like. next one is tomorrow at 11am!

    calories eaten


    cereal - 209 cals
    tuna, tomatoes, pasta, mushroom onions, red pepper, sweetcorn and 25g cheese- 800 cals
    lasagna - 366 cals
    clementine - 40 cals
    apple - 50 cals

    total cals eaten - 1465 cals

    calories burnt

    1hr swimming - 1424

    so yeah, so far day 2 has gonna pretty good too! im feeling pretty positive.. though when i think about how i got to this state in the first place i feel really sad. i keep listening to this song..

    [YOUTUBE]YouTube - Beauty From Pain lyrics[/YOUTUBE]
     
  16. QueenOfTheDamned

    QueenOfTheDamned Full Member

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    Day 2

    hey guys! thanks for all the messages of support, i'll reply to everyone later. tbh i'm a bit annoyed atm as i wrote a HUGE post but it timed out and when i pressed to submit it i lost all my info and had to re-log on! grr! :mad:

    well, first of all SWIMMING is AMAZING! it was daunting going in thier but after going last night i didnt even think twice about going again this morning! so im feeling pretty proud of myself atm :) i even bought a monthly swimming pass for £22 so i can go to all the sessions i like. next one is tomorrow at 11am!

    calories eaten


    cereal - 209 cals
    tuna, tomatoes, pasta, mushroom onions, red pepper, sweetcorn and 25g cheese- 800 cals
    lasagna - 366 cals
    clementine - 40 cals
    apple - 50 cals

    total cals eaten - 1465 cals

    calories burnt

    1hr swimming - 1424
     
  17. Ciara

    Ciara Full Member

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    aw you should be proud! glad you enjoyed it!

    hope you have a good day!
     
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  19. QueenOfTheDamned

    QueenOfTheDamned Full Member

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    Day 3

    well firstly i have a confession to make! last night after id got to my 1500 calorie total at about 11pm I ATE A CHEESE SCONE :rolleyes: i think they have about 250 calories :/ so that took me over for yesterday... also today i was SO tired this morning and achey from all the swimming that ive been doing ( 2 miles in 2 days) that i didn't go this morning... :break_diet:

    so yeah, pretty crappy start to the entry i guess, but i pulled it back.

    i'm going to eat 1250 calories today as my target to make up for yesterday and i'm going to go swimming in an hours time as they have an evening session again! my body is feeling like it needs a break but mentally i really want to push on with the exercise and being as i dont have work or nething to go to for 2.5 more weeks its not like being tired and achey is gonna hurt. i've already decided that i'm not gonna swim on saturday and i'll have a really long lie in that day, might go for a walk instead but nothign too taxing, so i'm gonna try and swim every day until then.

    well my food is cooked in 5 minutes so i'll be brief :)

    calories eaten

    chicken salad sandwich, 2 clementines and small yoghurt - 450
    cheese scone - 250
    fish pie - 445
    yoghurt -119
    total - 1264

    hmm.. that leaves me 100 calories to play with after i get back from my swim.. i think i could have another of those activia yoghurts for supper then, they are 119 cals if i remember correctly.. takes me slightly over, but i'm not to 20 calories!

    exercise
    swimming- 1hr

    i'll update this properly again either later tonight or tomorrow morning. hope everyones diets are going well. mine seems to be progressing nicely so far, but it sure is difficult to break the habbits of a lifetime! :/

    -----
    update - had my swim and felt amazing after, it gave me sooo much energy i dont feel like i can sleep now though.. my sleeping habbits are really messed up atm, i need to get back into a better routine! its hard to motivate yourself when you wake up exhausted, and besides that, when i start work in 2 1/2 weeks i need to be about to sleep better so im not exhausted all the time. the thing ive noticed in the last 6 months about being this weight is that i keep picking up colds more often and feeling utterly exhausted even after a good nights sleep. i'm pretty sure at 10 stone i wont have to go through feeling so lousy when i wake up every day, all in all i bet i feel a lot better in myself too.
     
    Last edited: 27 May 2010
  20. gonnagetslim

    gonnagetslim size 14 here I come

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    Well done, sounds like you are doing great so far :D
     
  21. Ria.

    Ria. Silver Member

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    well done so far hun x
     
  22. QueenOfTheDamned

    QueenOfTheDamned Full Member

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    Day 4

    well, i seem to be pretty awful at sticking to my plans, due to lack of sleep i didnt get up until 12.30pm, well past what i was meant to and i missed the morning swimming session AGAIN! as soon as i got up i have a chat with my best friend thomas to see how his exam this morning went and without eating i rushed off to my new work to hand in some documents they needed. it turns out that in order to get to work i have to drive past a burger king, KFC, pizza hut and macdonalds! definately not a good idea on a rumbling stomach.

    on the way back from work i decided to get something "healthy" from macdonalds.. turns out that there is pretty much nothing healthy except a chicken salad deli sandwich (350cals), i ordered that with a diet coke and then my mouth must have become overcome by satan as i also ordered a cheeseburger (i nearly asked for a double :/).. by the time i got home i felt really bad about my macdonalds, but i looked up the calories online and in total it only came to 650, the cheeseburger was 300 calories, and while its definately not good that i wasted 300 calories on a frikkin burger, at least i didnt blow my diet by getting a big mac meal or anything. its also nice to know thta doing a calorie controlled diet that i can eat anything i like pretty much so long as i come under my 1500 total for the day. i just trust myself not to be stupid enough and use my calories wisely. but even if i did blow it one day and DID order a big mac meal it'd teach me a lesson as i'd blow all my daily allowance in one sitiing and spend the rest of the day starving probably!

    anyways! turns out there is another swimming session at 8pm tonight at the pool, ive stuck a canelloni ready meal on for my tea and despite another blip (notice that none of my days ever go to plan) i should be able to keep to my diet again, yey!

    muscles feel tired today still, but only tonight and tomorrow lunchtime (if i can get up, lol) to go swimming until i have a lovely day of rest on saturday. i think i'll take a nice walk in the afternoon for an hour in the countryside though, something i havent done in years. i live in a beautiful rural area of the pennines with lakes and rivers and hills all around me, its about time i learnt to appreciate it. and i love listening to my ipod, although maybe i could drag one of my friends :)

    calories eaten

    cheeseburger - 300
    chicken salad deli - 350
    apple - 50
    clementine - 35
    cannelloni - 435
    yoghurt- 119
    microwave fires - 170
    total calories - 1459 :)

    exercise
    swimming-1hr

    ill update and complete this entry later...done :)
     
    Last edited: 29 May 2010
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