The F Word: My Diary.

[xSinead]

So its been 2 full days on Cambridge, and 21 years inside a body that has never really been mine. Inside me is a 10 stone girl wearing skinny jeans, who smiles more than she cries and loves the life she lives. On the outside though, is me. A morbidly obease whale trapped in a world that at times, seemed not worth living.

I started this diet on April 4th 2008 weighing 19st 6lb. For the first time in my life, i found something that works. And i lost 4 stone in 3 months, but soon, like everything else.. i gave up. And now, March 2012.. I'm heavier than i ever have been.. 20st 8lb. I'm back on Cambridge and determind this will be the last time i tackle my weight, i'll do it this time. I WILL be that happy go lucky girl inside my head who has been dieing to come out all of my life. I'll make my family proud of me, i'll complete something for the first time ever. I'll walk places instead of getting taxi's, i'll do things that girls my age do. I'll slowly start to like myself and be proud of what i've achieved. You never fail if you never give up.

5 more days to go until my first weigh in, i'm wee'ing for great britain and i even sat next to my mum drinking water, who was feasting on my favourite food last night, PASTA! This for me, is a journey. And i hope by the end of this year i can look back at these posts and smile and say 'you did it sinead' .. I can't wait to be able to support other people on this forum, and go through this experience with others who feel exactly the same as i do. Together i know we can do this!

 

[xSinead]

Still day 3 and i'm feeling hungrier than i have so far on this diet haha!

 

[24772433]

Your doing so well, just think when ketosis sets in hopefully hunger pains will disappear and be full of energy. You will be that 10 st girl in those skinny jeans having a fanatic time.

 

[24772433]

Hi Rosie not sure which one is u on fb want is ur profile pic like or you can add me Lindsey Jackson was Osborne

 

[Bella*Vida]

Welcome and good luck. I started 2 weeks ago tomorrow. Just yesterday I said that when I get to goal I am going to go out and by a fab pair of skinny jeans!

Keep going. It will get easier from here. This forum is amazing.

 

[xSinead]

The text messege from my mum that made me smile.. x

 

[LilyPotter]

Awww that's lovely hunni. Good luck on your journey!! You can do it!!!! Xxxx

 

[slimming-girl]

What a fantastic post, I am a restarter and on day 7 get weighed tmz, I've struggled the last few days but I've done everything to avoid letting myself down hopefully we can spur each other on I have 5 stone to shift x

 

[xSinead]

BEST of luck for tomorrow - i tend to always think the worst and more times than not end up suprised, so maybe you will too.. every pound lost is a pound closer to your goal weight we will deffinately do it!! xx

 

[slimming-girl]

I think this time something has clicked, I know im an emotional eater, I have found watching biggest looser and Claire Richards good I don't want my life ruled by food I'm treating the programme as a long haul flight I aren't doing half the journey to turn around and start again. I hve pcos and want to start a family so I'm focusing on getting an healthy bmi x

 

[xSinead]

I commented on one of your posts actually
I also have Pcos & have been on cambridge before. For me this is a journey and i've set myself little goals along the way, i've never completed anything in my life.. but this time i'm going to be in control and i'm going to prove to myself that i can do this!! We both will

 

[slimming-girl]

In sure we will do it love, ah yes I recall seeing you comment I'm thinking I have 4/5 months worth of dieting and maintance is long term I didn't do the maintance steps the first time I lost all my weight I didn't face my problems this time is different. If it means I have a strop or two to keep me on straight and narrow I will x

 

[xSinead]

Deffinately!! For me i'm giving myself until February 2013 to get to my goal, of 10 stone. but by the end of this year i'd love to lose 7/8 stone! There's a girl somewhere on these forums who lost 17 stone!! she's soooo tiny now and so so pretty.. inspirational! x x

 

[slimming-girl]

Wow that is amazing isn't it. I'm sure you will do it love I must find the story. I watched obese a year to save my life and I shed a tear the woman lost 8 stone in a year and did a triathlon it was fantastic. I realise now how I let weight rule my life it's time that changed x

 

[xSinead]

I let myself get to this state all by myself, because i haven't valued myself up until now. I've felt worthless and not important enough to spend time and attention on the things that need work on, like my weight. For once (like you) i'm putting me first.. and i'll do this for me. I hope we can all stay motivated throughout our journeys xx

 

[slimming-girl]

Of course we can I didn't realise how much food ruled my daily life. It's nice to have the process eliminated. I have my vanilla with sunshine orange like lemon meringue and then my chocolate with the berry one and it's lush keeps me going x

 

[Katiel]

Well Done!

Hey!

I've been on the CD for 3 weeks and 2 days now... I've lost a stone and 5lbs.. i still have 2 half stone to go.. I've now started exercising as i dont want saggy belly lol.

Im only 20 but i have been on the diet before when i was 16, I do find it incredibly hard but well worth it.

Your doing amazingly Dont give up its worth all the pain and hunger in the end Just teaching your body how to eat again.
x

 

[slimming-girl]

Wow Kate well done that's a great loss keep it up x

 

[Katiel]

Thanks im new to this website its really confusing to me lol. The support is amazing though! wish i found it sooner xx

 

[slimming-girl]

Well you have done so well without it that with it you will fly x