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The secret diary of Michelle..age 37 & 3/4

Discussion in 'Slimming World - Weight Loss Diary' started by michellebeeston, 18 June 2014 Social URL.

  1. michellebeeston

    michellebeeston Full Member

    Well I have come to realise in the last few days that I have serious issues with my body and food. Iv always know it but this week iv really acknowledged it. Im 5 foot 3 and weight 12 stone and alot.. (first weigh in will follow in the morning).
    Lets begin by discussing my issues. .I consider myself to be a big fat blob. And embarrassment to my OH and children. Im a typical pear...no im not green with a little stalk and possibly a leaf, I have a larger bottom and thighs than the 'normal' person. This is what I always focus on and I cant help it. I always forget my positive attributes and I need to train my brain into thinking differently.
    I have been on many many diets. And as far back as I can remember my mum has spent most of her life worrying about her weight and on some sort of diet. She is a binge eater and hides wrappers from my dad. I too do this and I want to break the cycle before it affects my three girls aswell. I want to eat normal foods, not just live on milk shakes or spend my life counting points...I just want to eat without worry. Hence slimming world.
    I have done this before and got bored. So this time im going to just concentrate on the food content and not what the scales say..well try. I really want to be able to get out of diet mode and just live. I really think that I have an eating disorder. Its not like anorexia or bulimia....its binging. I joke around saying im part time bulimic, got the binging down to a T, just dont throw up. But swriously, I really do think it must be similar. People are quick to say 'well dont eat crap then' but that only works for so long. I also suffer with depression and anxiety and food is my comfort in times of stress....this I need to change...Before my girls get drawn into this crazy food relationship.
    ......heres to trying to change my mentality and relationship with food.
    Wish me luck....
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  3. dragoneye454

    dragoneye454 Full Member

    Good luck Michelle.
    Well done for trying to change for your daughters, that's some serious motivation right there.
  4. michellebeeston

    michellebeeston Full Member

    Thank you. Just hope I manage this time...

    Well today is all pretty positive. Iv eaten a spinach omlette with 2 toast. Now am going to have tuna and baked pot for lunch with some fruit for afters. Not sure about dinner yet....il have to see.

    My friend today made me do a meal plan. Shes a good one. Now I know what food I shall be eating for the week. Never done that before. I tend to just go woth the flow...lets see.
    Weigh in this morning reveled me to be 12.10.....graduating on the 15th july...love to get 10 pound off by then. Not sure if this is realistic but would be great if I could.
  5. michellebeeston

    michellebeeston Full Member

    Well today is a stressful day...infaxt all week has been a stressful week. Firstly my OH was admitted into hospital tues for suspected appendicitis. ..they eventually remobed it last night along with some scar legions on the stomach. And today is my degree results day!! I cant believe it. 3 yrs passed just like that. It feels like iv never even been. Thats where I put most of my weight on, at uni. It should come with a health warning....it was the stress amd limited time with studying, mummy-ing and taxi-ing that meant I didnt really take time out to look after me and my diet. Oh well. The reaults arent being released until 3pm...iv no idea why but needless to say im nervous! But im not picking as I would normally, im going to have my nails done. As a treat.

    For breakfast iv had scrambled egg on toast....no superfree though which im a bit worried about. Il try and make up for it at lumch time. Iv no idea what im going to have. Migbt have to get a bag of salad on the way home and have that with a jacket potato.....right nails....
  6. GingerJV

    GingerJV Silver Member

    Hello Michelle! It's nice to meet you;-) We all have bad days and bad weeks(( Lots of stress surround us!! You need to stay strong and motivated;-) Wish you good luck with your degree results! And you need to make food plan at least for one day! this way it's easier to follow diet/healthy food rules.
  7. michellebeeston

    michellebeeston Full Member

    yesturday was a blur. My degree results were released at 3pm the same time as my OH was released from hospital. ..hence the blur. Turns out I got a first class honours degree!! Sooooo shocked and we couldn't celebrate due to the injured party. Todays eating has not been on plan and to ight we're having a celebratory take away..I figure im allowed to celebrate my degree award. Hahaha. Straight back on tomorrow with a good food diary... .enjoy the sunshine people and happy saturday !!!
  8. Crafty Girl

    Crafty Girl Silver Member

    Congratulations on your degree.
  9. michellebeeston

    michellebeeston Full Member

    Thank you...seems like a dream at the mo
  10. michellebeeston

    michellebeeston Full Member

    Todays been ok. For breakfast I had 2 eggs scrambled on 2 wholemeal toast. For lunch iv just had a salad from asda and sinned the dressing. Not really sure how many syns to give it...it was sour cream and chives if anyones got a clue..so just not gonna try have any more today...

    I need do my squats. Got this ace app that builds you up to 250..like a 30 day challenge type thing, the other day I did 213..my legs felt like lead after but made me feel good. Havent done any other exercise as of yet. Its been too hot. I really want to start running but I always get shin splints and it kills! I will though..soon I think. Especially with the OH being off work now....il need to run! Hahhaha.

    Going to carry on with the garden in a min....stop me from snacking.
    I hope everyone else is having a lovely day :)
  11. denise42

    denise42 Silver Member

    Here to subscribe, congrats on the first class hons thats brilliant :D
  12. michellebeeston

    michellebeeston Full Member

    Aww thank you so much denise. It still doesnt seem real.

    Well....let me honest. The diet has gone bye bye. Im not going to worry about it. Im going to start again in the morning. Im not making excuses but what with everything with the OH and the degree result its thrown me.

    Wow its warm today.....im not complaining...im washing ;-)

    Tomorrow is a new day and will be a fully slimming world day.

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