The struggle

Discussion in 'Exante - Diaries' started by chunkyflossy, 1 September 2011 Social URL.

  1. chunkyflossy

    chunkyflossy Full Member

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    So, I started TFR on Tuesday and I’m not gonna lie to you, it’s been horrendously difficult. I am no stranger to this kind of diet, having lost 5 stone on Lipotrim a couple of years ago, but this time around seems like torture. I caved in on the very first day- I’d done well up until 5pm and as soon as I left work I headed to the nearest shop and came out with two Cornish pasties which I demolished in a matter of seconds! The funny thing is, I don’t even like them but at that point even the thought of eating a Brussel sprout was making me salivate!

    So I got home and felt pretty annoyed with myself. But it didn’t end there. The sloth on my shoulder was telling me I needed more so I thought I would counteract the calorific pasties by having a healthy tea of fish and vegetables. Except, the only fish in my house was battered in the freezer. Three visits to three supermarkets later, I came home with Thai fish cakes and corn on the cob. Again, I’m not a lover of fishcakes, but they looked so delicious! Having eaten them, I felt ashamed! I’d ruined my first day by eating food I didn’t even actually like. Usually at that point I’d have headed straight for the biscuit barrel and cracked open the hob nobs. But for some reason it got me thinking:
    “A moment’s gain isn’t worth a lifetime of pain”.
    I’d craved food so much, but once I’d eaten it, it just didn’t seem worth the feelings of disappointment and upset. So, I made a pact to myself that I would remind myself of my epiphany every time I felt the urge to eat. It sounds pretty drastic and like it’s from the mindset of someone with an eating disorder, but from past experience I know that a TRF diet does indeed mean what it says on the tin and for it to be successful I need to be disciplined.

    So I’m on day three now and it’s still as hard as it was on day one, but I just have to keep reminding myself why I’m doing it and that keeps me going. I’m going to be tempted, probably every single day, but the long term benefits are so going to outweigh the short term ones of stuffing my face....
     
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  3. tenney 75

    tenney 75 Full Member

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    Hey chunkyflossy you are doing really well. It is so tough the first few days isn't it but just hold in there and it will soon pay off. I wrestled with soups and shakes during my first week but now I love shakes and bars ( still hate soups) I was so depressed when saw my family tucking into mcdonalds but just a week later I was sat happily with them in mcdonalds, supping a black coffee and not even tempted. Just hang in there and drink loads of water, it really helps. I go through bottles of sparkling water which seems to fill me up with the bubbles :)
     
  4. babezone

    babezone Full Member

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    Hang on in there hunni, im only on day2 and keep really questioning it tonight, but i just keep thinking i want to do this for 4 months and i no if i cave in 4 months will be here in no time and il be thinking why the hell didnt i stick at it you have my sympathy sweet xxx
     
  5. determinator

    determinator Banned

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    hey hun , that first day had many positives by the sound of it and now here you are on day 3 :D I restarted on tuesday too after a week off and its been ok , its never as easy as the first time but I tend to find I struggle around the week mark so am just pushing through .
    keep it up x
     
  6. NikkiH

    NikkiH Likes to eat

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    Hi CF, I'm on day 3 too! I actually think the way you've thought out things is the way to go, i do the same. Hopefully ketosis will kick in for you soon! Will look forward to reading about a huge loss on Tuesday ;-) it'll all be worth it then x
     
  7. ginger&proud

    ginger&proud Full Member

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    stick with it, you've done the hardest part and it will only get easier from now on..... just think how good you will feel when you lose the weight - it will all be worth it xx
     
  8. chunkyflossy

    chunkyflossy Full Member

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    Thank you you lot.helps to know others are in the same position if that makes sense.it's a long road ahead but it'll be worth it.just need to stay focused.it's so difficult because life generally focuses around food doesn't it?!?I must admit though when I last did tfr after a few weeks food didn't really faze me.don't get me wrong,I could have quite easily ate steak and chips but I didn't crave it.hardest part for me was loosing all that weight though was putting it all back on.it's a massive regret.hopefully this time I will learn by my mistakes and refeed properley.how much do you all have to loose?x
     
  9. babezone

    babezone Full Member

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    im hoping to loose 4 stone by New Years Eve averaging at a stone a month which is about right, 4 months sounded like nothing a week ago but feels like forever now. but when i look back i guess im nearly on day 3 already then soon enough will be my weekly weigh in i really hope i have a good loss! in my dreams im hoping for 10lb! this week lol but i guess practicality 7lb-8lb will be ok too haha! xx
     
  10. chunkyflossy

    chunkyflossy Full Member

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    Hey that's a realistic goal and if you stick with it you'll definitely loose 4 stone by then!just think of the lovely frock you'll be able to fit into for new years eve!
     
  11. babezone

    babezone Full Member

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    Am hoping so. i would abso love to be able to wear something tight fitting without feeling so wide lol! i no i can do it! its just will power! xx
     
  12. Little-Miss-Perfect

    Little-Miss-Perfect Doing it exante style :)

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    Hiya Flossy :D

    Sounds like your focussed and nothings gonna get in your way :)
    The first few days are poo :( I'm struggling alot with the compliments I get, I then think it's ok to eat if I'm looking ok! The minds a funny thing eh?
    I've lost 6 stone (lost more but gained a bit last weekend :() but I still have 2 stone ish to go! Only doing another 6 weeks TFR then I'll do calorie counting and exercise after that!
    It's been a long hard struggle for me but I'm getting there, 2 steps forward 1 back it's all going in the right direction again tho :D
    Sorry I'm waffling now ;) can't wait to follow your journey.

    Clair xx
     
  13. chunkyflossy

    chunkyflossy Full Member

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    I know!if you have willpower,you can achieve anything!please keep me updated with how ya getting on!would love to see you get to your goal x
     
  14. chunkyflossy

    chunkyflossy Full Member

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  15. chunkyflossy

    chunkyflossy Full Member

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    Wow you have done incredible!the mind is indeed a funny thing.it's ironic because my job is as a therapist so I spend my days helping people reach their goals and understand why they feel the way they do but when it comes to myself I struggle understanding most things!
    Accepting compliments can be so difficult can't it,particularly when you don't believe in the things they are sayings.it's so easy to focus on and remember negative comments people may give us but when it comes to compliments or praise we easily forget.and we shouldn't,because they usually are the more sincere and come from the people that matter x
     
  16. leedsforever

    leedsforever Silver Member

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    I work in a gym and today was chatting to 2 personal trainers about weight loss etc both said I look great how I am!! Saw an old male friend not seen in couple of years his words "you've lost loads of weight you look really good" argh!! Lol!! But I know in my heart I can look better and this is why I'm doing it! I do get Quite a bit of male attention which I thrive on as when I was 18 stone I would of only dreamed off!! But these compliments and attention Is what's stopping me on 100% I know it is mind defo a funny thing xx

    lost nearly 6 stone ... hoping to make it 7 :)
     
  17. leedsforever

    leedsforever Silver Member

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    I was so so guilty of this "wow you've lost weight" I reply with "yeah still got more to go" I don't accept or thank them! I'm much better now my self esteem is higher and I do keep the good comments in my head which goes back to my previous post about then thinking I look ok I'll eat this etc!
    Being overweight is so much more than just about food

    Xx

    lost nearly 6 stone ... hoping to make it 7 :)
     
  18. chunkyflossy

    chunkyflossy Full Member

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    Oh I completely agree.being overweight effects pretty much all aspects of my life and I'm hoping that like you-once the weight is dropping off it'll increase my self esteem.my weight stops me leading the life I want to-sometimes because I can't physically do those things but mostly because psychologically I won't allow myself/I'm too scared to do so.
     
  19. chunkyflossy

    chunkyflossy Full Member

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    So it's day four and it's just as hard as day one. To make things even more difficult, it's Friday and the start of the weekend. I don't know about anyone else but weekends are the most difficult for me. Whether it’s because it's a time for socialising, or just that the days aren't as busy as when at work, I don't know.
    Any way, I was looking online just now on the Evans website and to honest I’m pretty appauled by the selection, or lack of selection on offer. I am a 25 year old woman who has been plus size almost all of my life. Like most women my age, I am extremely fashion conscious and like to keep up with the latest trends. However, I am increasingly finding this more and more difficult. As one of the only plus size fashion retailers on the high street, I find myself limited to shopping in the likes of Evans. Although more often than not, I leave feeling disappointed and empty handed.
    There is no denying that I have only myself to blame for being the size that I am but I feel that because of this I am punished when it comes to fashion. This in turn affects my confidence and self esteem, adding to the viscous circle that is obesity.
    After spending time researching current trends (as I often do) on fashion websites such as Vogue and InStyle.co.uk, I am able to see these trends brought to life in other high street retailers. After browsing Evans website and several of their stores quite regularly, there seems to be a sharp contrast between the clothes being sold by the likes of ‘top shop’ and ‘Zara’ compared to the clothes being sold at Evans. I know Evans caters for a varied age range and so understand that some of their clothes appeal to the older woman. However, even the stuff that is meant to be ‘fashionable’ is somewhat less than desirable. Take for example their introduction of Beth Dittos range, the range that promised to give larger women the chance to own a chic celebrity designed collection! Disappointingly, most of the items in this range were outlandish, flamboyant, garish and not the type of attire a fashion conscious, self conscious twenty something would want to wear. Beth Ditto may be someone who is confident and daring, but you’d be hard pushed to find many big women who would be daring enough to carry off a ‘tight,white,lycra domino dress‘, which might I add, looks utterly ridiculous.
    I’m mindful that a minority of trends would not suit the larger lady and thus would not expect Evans to stock this type of clothing. Take for example the ‘crop top’ that is currently trending. I am not saying a plus size women shouldn’t wear these as they should be free to wear what they like, but, as a plus size woman myself,i quite frankly would rather chew off my own arm than to wear something like that. However, the majority of everything else that is in fashion, DOES and WOULD suit bigger people, yet they fail to recognise this and carry on selling the boring and bland ‘smock tops’ and ‘square neck t shirts’. Obviously these kind of clothes must sell else they wouldn’t keep on selling them, but women buying them are probably those women who have resigned themselves to the fact that they will never be able to wear anything fashionable and so might as well blend in with every other bland plus sizer. Another one of their ‘bestsellers’ is the delightful kaftan/kimono top. A top that screams out “look at me, I’m too fat to wear anything nice so I’m trying to disguise myself and hide in this oversized tent that actually makes me look 3 sizes bigger than what I actually am!’
    It just seems like they stock what they think we ought to be wearing, rather than what we’d like to wear.
    I’m aware that I may seem slightly aggressive/neurotic and in no way do I intend to offend or upset anyone.Some people may like the clothes that Evans have to offer and that’s fine. I fully accept that I am no fashion designer, nor am I a fashion buyer. But what I am is a plus sized gal that feels dictated to in terms of what I can and can’t wear. I’ve been fortunate enough to get a few nice things from ASOS who do a ‘curve’ range which is great, but it’s very limited and is no good when you’re panic buying the day before a night out.
    Does anyone else share my frustrations?
     
  20. Little-Miss-Perfect

    Little-Miss-Perfect Doing it exante style :)

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    You should email this post to Evans!! It's sooooo true! I used to hate shopping there. So glad i don't have to rely on Evans now. Infact I get all qweezy walking past!
    Glad you found some good stuff on them other sites tho.

    And can I just say I loved my Beth ditto domino dress, even in a size 24!!! Pmsl :D
    Cheeky sod, just kidding xx
     
  21. chunkyflossy

    chunkyflossy Full Member

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    Oh my gosh girl you've got more guts than me!x
     
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