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The Wife Cries on Account of MY Diet

Oinkstop

Full Member
S: 18st1lb C: 16st3lb G: 8st6lb BMI: 41.5 Loss: 1st12lb(10.28%)
#1
The other night, the wife and I were snuggled up getting ready to go to sleep, when she suddenly bursts out crying.

"What's wrong?" I ask her. I figured I'd done some stupid thing, and hurt her feelings without knowing.

Between sobs, she chokes out that she's afraid once I've lost all this weight that I'm going to dump her and go looking for someone else.

No wonder she's been trying to sabotage my diet at every turn!

I reassured her that I wasn't planning on going fishing for a new spouse once I'm finished with my diet. We've been together for 10 years, and I don't see any wisdom in throwing out my life's partner just because I've lost weight.

Is anyone else dealing with this?
 
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flirty40greeneyes

Busy busy busy!!
S: 15st3lb C: 13st11lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 33.1 Loss: 1st6lb(9.39%)
#2
Bless! it's a very common occurance. Keep reassuring her - and tell her she gets a bargain as not only will you have more energy, look good - hopefully you'll live a healthier and longer life. So infact she gets you for longer!
 
S: 21st8lb C: 19st6lb G: 11st11lb BMI: 42.6 Loss: 2st2lb(9.93%)
#4
Aww bless.My partner keeps saying that as soon as I'm slim I'll go off and find someone else.The ironic thing is he's soooo skinny it's unfair!
 

Purple Hugs

Loves weight.. training!
S: 13st5.5lb C: 12st13lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 32.1 Loss: 0st6.5lb(3.47%)
#5
Hope she can relax now you've reassured her! :D poor love.

My hubby doesn't seem fussed but he knows I love him :)
 
#6
My OH just has an issue with me bein the same weight at the min as i have always been 2-3 stone heavier, i wouldnt leave him and he know that but he doesnt want me to be the only one looking good in a few months time!
 

catkins

Full Member
S: 17st10lb C: 17st10lb G: 9st2lb BMI: 42.6 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#7
It does happen though! So in a way I can understand her insecurities. Just keep reassuring her I think. My cousin was married to a guy who .. (LOL sounds so harsh) had a slightly odd shaped face.. and he had surgery to reconstruct his jaw which stuck out a lot.. and then when he was all healed he went off with another woman!!:grumble: But she is better off without him and has a lovely new bf and brand new baby! Sorry off topic a bit...
 

YummyMummy04

Silver Member
S: 20st3lb C: 20st3lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 45.7 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
#8
I have the same problem with my husband.

He has always been insecure but its getting worse as i loose weight and gain my confidance back.

He is a silly s0d really as i love him to bits and his is my soul mate.

I will be keeping a eye on this thread so i can get some advice too! lol
 

eyeontheprize

can see the end in sight!
S: 20st7lb C: 12st10lb G: 12st6lb BMI: 25.5 Loss: 7st11lb(37.98%)
#9
I think there might be a similar issue with my partner but he wouldn't come out and say it. It's outweighed by how happy he is to see me more confident etc and he also has lost about 7 stone before we got together so he knows what an amazing thing losing weight is. Just keep reassuring her and all will be right!!
 

MrsDannyDyer

Silver Member
S: 20st3lb C: 19st11lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 49.1 Loss: 0st6lb(2.12%)
#10
We have discussed this too. You read that many real life stories of ppl losing loads of weight and the 1st thing they do is find a new man/woman. we have talked about it and in a way although i no my man will be over the moon when i get to target i no he has doubts and thats why he sugests going out for meals
 

Oinkstop

Full Member
S: 18st1lb C: 16st3lb G: 8st6lb BMI: 41.5 Loss: 1st12lb(10.28%)
#11
The Wife and I had a great big talk this afternoon, and I am hoping she feels better about things. I told her that we've been together for a decade, and I love her dearly, so there's no reason why I'm going to dump her for someone else!

I know, not very romantic, but sincere nonetheless!
 

Rayven

Addicted to Minimins!
S: 18st9lb C: 18st6lb G: 10st6lb BMI: 42.9 Loss: 0st3lb(1.15%)
#12
I had the same problem with my Oh the first time i did this diet. At every turn he'd be wanting to go out to eat - or buying me chocolates etc & then act all hurt if i didn't want to eat them or go out for a meal - it wasn't until after i came off the CD wagon that he actually let slip that he was trying to sabotage it on purpose for fear of me getting skinny, getting confident and finding someone else! I was livid to be honest because i have always struggled with food and have never had a healthy relationship with it. Its amazing how other peoples insecurities about themselves come to the forefront when we start sorting out our weight problems.

I sat my OH down and told him that i was doing this for ME! Not to find someone else, not to get someone elses approval but because i was fat and unhealthy and i didn't want to die prematurely of heart disease & that i wanted to feel good about myself - for ME. (plus if he didn't support me this time i'd divorce him! lol)
 

Oinkstop

Full Member
S: 18st1lb C: 16st3lb G: 8st6lb BMI: 41.5 Loss: 1st12lb(10.28%)
#13

I sat my OH down and told him that i was doing this for ME! Not to find someone else, not to get someone elses approval but because i was fat and unhealthy and i didn't want to die prematurely of heart disease & that i wanted to feel good about myself - for ME. (plus if he didn't support me this time i'd divorce him! lol)
What did he say when you threatened to divorce him? :)
 

Rayven

Addicted to Minimins!
S: 18st9lb C: 18st6lb G: 10st6lb BMI: 42.9 Loss: 0st3lb(1.15%)
#14
What did he say when you threatened to divorce him? :)
He said he was really sorry and that he'd fully support me this time and that he wouldn't do it again and that he knows how hard it is for me and that he knows i'd never leave him really.....

He pretty much said it all in one sentence like that too! I think he realised how f*cked off i was with him and started panicking! lol
 

Oinkstop

Full Member
S: 18st1lb C: 16st3lb G: 8st6lb BMI: 41.5 Loss: 1st12lb(10.28%)
#15
He said he was really sorry and that he'd fully support me this time and that he wouldn't do it again and that he knows how hard it is for me and that he knows i'd never leave him really.....

He pretty much said it all in one sentence like that too! I think he realised how f*cked off i was with him and started panicking! lol
Well at least he said the right things. Here's to him keeping his word!
 

Red Mich

Likes to read
S: 14st10lb G: 11st0lb
#16
same but different

Not sure this will help, but I had a slightly different experience.
Last time I did LL I lost 4 stone and was skinnier than when me and hubby first met. Two years later I found out he'd slept with someone while I was at my very skinniest. (We worked thru it and stayed together)
That meant I put all the weight back on dealing with it. And it's taken me another two years to be brave enough to go back on the diet in case the same happens again.
He's reassured me it won't but as I shrink I get more and more paranoid.
Weird isn't it? If he was going to sleep with someone you'd have thought he'd have done it when I was a porker!!
 

Rayven

Addicted to Minimins!
S: 18st9lb C: 18st6lb G: 10st6lb BMI: 42.9 Loss: 0st3lb(1.15%)
#17
Well at least he said the right things. Here's to him keeping his word!
Ah, and there-in lies the challenge! lol
 

Oinkstop

Full Member
S: 18st1lb C: 16st3lb G: 8st6lb BMI: 41.5 Loss: 1st12lb(10.28%)
#18
Weird isn't it? If he was going to sleep with someone you'd have thought he'd have done it when I was a porker!!
I give you a lot of credit being able to work through something like that. I caught my first husband cheating, and I kicked him to the curb in an instant. In my world, there just wasn't anything to work out after that!

But you are right, it's odd that he would have an affair when you were at your slimmest and most attractive. One would think he would be really into you once you were thin.

My only advice to you would be that you work on getting thin because it's what you want. After all, you are the one that has to live in your body.
 

Rayven

Addicted to Minimins!
S: 18st9lb C: 18st6lb G: 10st6lb BMI: 42.9 Loss: 0st3lb(1.15%)
#20
Weird isn't it? If he was going to sleep with someone you'd have thought he'd have done it when I was a porker!!
My ex cheated on me with someone bigger than me!
 


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