I've been feeling really down the past week. Trying to do a diet while feeling like this is a bit hard but I'm trying my best to keep my head above it. It's hard sometimes because I don't know if I'm just depressed or if it is actually this bad. people tell me it isn't but I'm finding it hard to believe. sure there's loads of people worse off than me but coming to terms with the fact you're probably never going to be able to afford to move out, you're in a job where you get paid less than the rest of the team but do more work, and people around you are just so sly and untrustworthy you have to be careful what you say to them, not to mention the friends who go round getting in debt and getting knocked up and then get a house, and have a better life than you!
I think life is really hard for people my age and younger now. I just pray and cross my fingers that I win the lottery or find a great job that is everything that I want, and my boyfriend finds one too.
I think the only reason the diet is working is because I am actually more sad about my life than being fat! for once I have a million other things to think about than other ppl calling me fat or judging me and to be honest I couldn't give a flying one what they think!
one aquaintance of mine - I say this because no one else in the group likes her, I personally have given her chance after chance but she just seems pre-occupied with getting her head stuck further up our other friends butt... on a day out she sat and slated her BFF because she's fat... now I've met her... she's as fat as me... she proceeded to tell the group how disgusting it was etc etc etc knowing she was making me feel uncomfortable... thing is I'm not a nasty person! I think things... like the fact she's a bag of bones ISNT attractive, her sunken in face means she could EASILY pass for like 40 odd! the fact that she obviously isn't very happy in herself since she feels the need to slag off her best mate, and her desperate need for acceptance and love from her cheat of a boyfriend and our other friend.
I think I could easily turn into a hermit... I'm quite happy just me and the BF, much easier that way!
